I couldn't shave this morning because someone stole my mirror.
The police are looking into it.
To the person whole stole my Microsoft Office
I will find you, you have my Word
To the person who stole my glasses, I will find you.
I stole a lawyer’s underwear right before court.
There’s no way he’ll succeed without his legal briefs.
A seabird stole my sausage.... It was a tern for the wurst.
Whoever stole my antidepressants
What happened to the two guys who stole a calendar ?
They got six months each.
A burglar stole my reactor yesterday.
My wife is gonna go nuclear
Wheat farmer headaches (stole this one)
I stole seven crows yesterday.
I used to organize my change by putting each coin into their respective cage, but someone stole all the nickles!
Now I have a nickleless cage...
A burglar stole all my lamps
I should be upset but I am delighted
I stole this girl's heart
I was arrested shortly after for murder
I didn't know my dad stole from construction sites, but...
When I got home, all the signs were there
Somebody stole my mood ring...
I still don't know how I feel about that.
Someone broke into my house and stole my anti depression pills
Someone stole a documentary I made!
I called my agent outraged. After a few hours be called me back. He says "Not to worry, I got it sorted and you should see the royalty arriving soon." I said, "That would be lovely John, but I don't think they're allowed to travel right now. There's a pandemic."
Somebody broke into my house and stole my Oxford English Dictionary.
To the scumbag that stole 300 cans of Red Bull from my store,
I don't know how you can sleep at night.
Someone stole my weed...
I'm feeling very dis-jointed.
Last night there was a break-in at the pencil factory, theives stole everything...
...police are still looking for leads.
I’m really sad that someone stole my front door.
To the person who stole my running shoes and reflective vest...
You can run, but you can't hide!
My house got broken into last night and they stole over 100 cans of red bull..
I don’t know how they sleep at night
Some one stole my dictionary and thesaurus
I don't know what to say, I have no words
Someone stole the alphabet.
To the person who stole my selfie stick,..
I hope you’re taking a long look at yourself.
To the person who stole my calendar...
Mark my words, your days are numbered.
To the person who stole my calendar
Wanna know where I stole all my dad jokes?
Somebody stole my antidepressants tdoay
I hope they're happy
E: Fuck
someone stole a limbo stick out of my garage last night
how low do you have to go to steal a limbo stick?
Someone stole some of my rap CDs.
I stole a wig
I just didn't want toupee for it
Somebody broke into my house and stole my limbo stick!
I mean... how low can you get!
Someone stole my Microsoft Office, and they're going to pay.
Second joke my dad ever told me, which I later found out he stole from Carlin: you know how you can tell when a moth farts?
It flies in a straight line.
My girlfriend left me so I stole her wheelchair
Guess who’s come crawling back
Someone stole all the toilet seats at the police station.
The police are trying to find the thief but they have nothing to go on.
What did the clam say to the lobster when it stole his pearl?
I stole my friends goose by mistake
He told me to come over take a gander.
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket...
You can hide but you can't run.
(Haha I make myself laugh every time)
To the man who stole my thesaurus...
I cannot find the words to express how upset I am!
My Ex Girlfriend stole my Hummus.
I didn’t realize ants stole so many handbags
If they didn’t, why do we need anti-purse-per-ant
It’s my first time, be gentle.
I stole my gf dictionary and she didn't say a thing
I guess she had no words left for that
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will hunt you down.
You have my word.
(My dad put wrote this on the fridge, pls don't kill)
To the person who stole my glasses
I can still drink from the bottle
I stole my sister's vegetables
I was just trying to stop her from getting herpes
Are you the guy who stole all the sweet potatoes?
Did you hear about the thief who stole a supply truck of disinfectant?
To the person who stole my lamp, my coffee and my parrot:
I dont know how you sleep at night
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
Someone stole my friend’s dictionary.
When I asked him about what happened, he didn’t answer.
He was left without words.
Bet the burglar also stole some vodka
I can't believe someone stole my limbo pole the other day...
I mean, how low can you go?
Yes, I stole this from facebook.
The guy who stole my diary just died,
My thoughts are with his family.
To the person that stole my antidepressants...
To whoever stole my antidepressants...
To the guy who stole my antidepressants
Whoever stole my Microsoft office account ID, I will find you.
To the person whole stole my glasses
I will find you, I have contacts
Somebody stole my mood ring.
I just don't know how I feel about that.
To the person whole stole my antidepressants
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office
I will find you. You have my Word!
To the guy who stole my antidepressants...
To the person who stole my selfie stick...
...You need to take a long look at yourself.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office:
I will find you. You have my Word!
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
I can’t believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick
Seriously, how low can you go?
I stole my ex girlfriend’s wheelchair
Guess who came crawling back
I left my garage door open yesterday, and someone stole my limbo stick.
Like seriously, how low can you go?
Someone stole my mood ring
I dont know how i feel about that
To the person who stole my glasses
I will find you. I have my contacts.
Someone broke into my house last night and stole my limbo trophy. How low can you go?
To the person who stole my antidepressants:
I’m so angry right now, someone broke into my house and stole my limbo stick...
Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar?
To the individual who stole my glasses...
I will find you. I have contacts.
Someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick.
Seriously... How low can you go?
Have you seen the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camo jacket?
He can hide but he can't run.
Someone broke into my garage last night and stole my limbo pole.
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket...
You can hide, but you can’t run
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket...
You can hide, but you can't run!
To the person who stole my glasses
I will find you, I have contacts
To the person who stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
To the person who stole my glasses
I can still drink from the bottle.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office...
I will find you. You have my Word!
A man in a wheelchair stole my camo jacket.
You can hide but you can’t run.
To the guy that stole my Microsoft office
I will find you. You have my word
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