If you had a Tesla and it got stolen...
Would it now be an Edison?
Shamelessly stolen on twitter, no clue about who did that. I have to dig something here...
Shamelessly stolen, Ahhhh
The local police station has had its toilet stolen
Officers have nothing to go on.
All my vegetables got stolen and the cops finally showed up.
I can't find my limbo bar. Someone must have stolen it!
I mean, how low can you go?
An atom called the cops to report he had an electron stolen. The cop asked, "Are you sure?"
And the atom replied, "I'm positive!"
Definitely not stolen
What Do You Call A Wreath Made Of $100 Bills?
Aretha Franklins
I found my dog had a stash of stolen goods inside his kennel.
I think he might be a Labrador Receiver.
My friend Sid has had his ID stolen...
A lorry load of wigs has been stolen
Police are combing the area
My wifes bank card was stolen 3 days ago.
So far they have spent less than her everyday, so I'm not saying anything.
A lorry full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
How did the boy whose glasses were stolen find them?
a viagra shipment was stolen
police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals
5 puppies were stolen from the pet shop yesterday....
Police are warning people to look out for anyone selling hot dogs.
My buddy David has his ID stolen
A man walks into his home to realize that all his lamps were stolen
A man entered his home and discovered that someone had stolen every single lamp present in the house.
He was absolutely delighted.
The evil queens mirror as been stolen.
Police are looking in to it.
NEWSFLASH: All toilets stolen from Precinct 4.
Police have nothing to go on.
Police have issued an appeal after receiving complaints from farmers that their Cows are being stolen during the night...
Apparently they are looking for a man with a big moo-stash.
Shamelessly stolen from mock the week
Look said Harry: "Wittgenstein's having a spliff - the philosopher's stoned!"
What do you call a stolen jar?
I've been searching for my stolen bed
and I won't rest until I find it.
I just read in the newspaper: "Painting stolen from art museum found by a set of dustbins."
Those dustbins must be very intelligent.
I'm heartbroken since my Dog was stolen last week from our yard.
Police haven't found any leads yet.
Hair today, gone tomorrow. (Stolen from r/tumblr)
All the chairs in my town were stolen
And the people can’t stand it.
What did the painter say after his vehicle was stolen?
What is a stolen Tesla car called
Thieves have broken into and stolen all the toilets at the Police Station
Detectives have nothing to go on
A thief has stolen all the hand sanitizer from the supermarket
he seems to have made a clean getaway
Just used some stolen hair dye...
Guess you could say I’m now...
Illegally Blonde
Admittedly stolen from r/Pokemon
3am thought: if a weighbridge somehow got stolen...
... would the police conduct a large scale search?
My friend who lives in Detroit had his toilet stolen.
Can’t have shit in Detroit
A mysterious thief has stolen all the toilets from the local sheriff's office.
The police have nothing to go on.
Sting’s studio was broken into, thousands of dollars worth of gear stolen
Now the Police have no leads.
My mate David had his ID stolen...
My buddy David had his ID stolen.
My friend David had his ID stolen.
Now we just call him Dav.
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