What did the farmer say when all of his haystacks were stolen?
NEWS FLASH! The toilet has been stolen from the local police station.
Police say they've got nothing to go on.
Our friend Carlos got his car stolen last month.
My friend David had his ID stolen.
Did you hear about that man that got his tires stolen but not his wheels?
He’s been working tirelessly to get them back
The police found a stolen car that had a nearly complete set of golf clubs inside...
They're still looking for the driver!
My neighbors had their ladder stolen last night.
If you had a Tesla and it got stolen...
Would it now be an Edison?
Stolen
Cleptomaniacs never get puns because they always take everything literally.
A truckload of toupees has been stolen...
...Police are combing the area for clues.
There was a break in at an office block recently. Many folders, calendars and filing cabinets were stolen.
Police believe it to be the work of organised crime.
I would've stolen a joke
But somebody already reddit.
What do you call a suitcase full of stolen jazz instruments?
Shamelessly stolen from the "Flying Pigs" comedy troop.
(Stolen from Twitter) The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.
My collection of irreplaceable French movies was stolen.
A man had his car stolen by a thief in Mexico. When he went to the police...
Shamelessly stolen on twitter, no clue about who did that. I have to dig something here...
My farm implements have been stolen. I was distractored.
Someone has stolen every toilet at city hall!
The police have nothing to go on.
Shamelessly stolen, Ahhhh
Why was the man not bothered or upset that someone had stolen all his dried grapes?
He had no raisons to be...
What's the difference between a stolen miniature diorama for your personal library and an incredibly surprising but cliched erotic fantasy about Peregrin of the shire?
One is a shelf insert book nook for fiction fans that you took and the other is a self-insert fan fiction took book that got you shook.
An atom called the cops to report he had an electron stolen. The cop asked, "Are you sure?"
And the atom replied, "I'm positive!"
All my vegetables got stolen and the cops finally showed up.
I can't find my limbo bar. Someone must have stolen it!
I mean, how low can you go?
A man walks into his home to realize that all his lamps were stolen
My wifes bank card was stolen 3 days ago.
So far they have spent less than her everyday, so I'm not saying anything.
A lorry load of wigs has been stolen
Police are combing the area
Definitely not stolen
What Do You Call A Wreath Made Of $100 Bills?
Aretha Franklins
My friend Sid has had his ID stolen...
A lorry full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
I found my dog had a stash of stolen goods inside his kennel.
I think he might be a Labrador Receiver.
A man entered his home and discovered that someone had stolen every single lamp present in the house.
He was absolutely delighted.
How did the boy whose glasses were stolen find them?
5 puppies were stolen from the pet shop yesterday....
Police are warning people to look out for anyone selling hot dogs.
Hair today, gone tomorrow. (Stolen from r/tumblr)
All the toilets in the police station have been stolen!
Unfortunately, the cops have nothing to go on...
The local police station has had its toilet stolen
Officers have nothing to go on.
My mate David had his ID stolen...
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