What did the farmer say when all of his haystacks were stolen?

This is the last straw.

πŸ‘︎ 646
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jillyjoyohoho
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
NEWS FLASH! The toilet has been stolen from the local police station.

Police say they've got nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
If my Tesla is stolen

is it an "Edison" now?

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Our friend Carlos got his car stolen last month.

We call him Los now.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend David had his ID stolen.

Now he's just Dav.

πŸ‘︎ 101
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about that man that got his tires stolen but not his wheels?

He’s been working tirelessly to get them back

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MmmPanCaeks
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
🚨︎ report
The police found a stolen car that had a nearly complete set of golf clubs inside...

They're still looking for the driver!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My neighbors had their ladder stolen last night.

Steps were taken.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Different_Ad953
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
If you had a Tesla and it got stolen...

Would it now be an Edison?

πŸ‘︎ 544
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jdbsplashum
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Stolen

Cleptomaniacs never get puns because they always take everything literally.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ppadge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
A truckload of toupees has been stolen...

...Police are combing the area for clues.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kublakhan1977
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
There was a break in at an office block recently. Many folders, calendars and filing cabinets were stolen.

Police believe it to be the work of organised crime.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RambuDev
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I would've stolen a joke

But somebody already reddit.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wilsoca
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a suitcase full of stolen jazz instruments?

A felonious trunk.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xrayhearing
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Shamelessly stolen from the "Flying Pigs" comedy troop.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Stolen toilets
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spinnaker190
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
(Stolen from Twitter) The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bgva
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
My collection of irreplaceable French movies was stolen.

C'est la D vie D

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrgraff
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
A man had his car stolen by a thief in Mexico. When he went to the police...

He reported a Carlos.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/heartbreaker963
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Shamelessly stolen on twitter, no clue about who did that. I have to dig something here...
πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/goelin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
My farm implements have been stolen. I was distractored.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Someone has stolen every toilet at city hall!

The police have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Shamelessly stolen, Ahhhh
πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Why was the man not bothered or upset that someone had stolen all his dried grapes?

He had no raisons to be...

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mutterlein
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a stolen miniature diorama for your personal library and an incredibly surprising but cliched erotic fantasy about Peregrin of the shire?

One is a shelf insert book nook for fiction fans that you took and the other is a self-insert fan fiction took book that got you shook.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketsocks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Stolen Antidepressants
πŸ‘︎ 94
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NoDuckFound
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Stolen Antidepressants
πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IronThin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Stolen Antidepressants
πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xpl0it_U
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
An atom called the cops to report he had an electron stolen. The cop asked, "Are you sure?"

And the atom replied, "I'm positive!"

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
All my vegetables got stolen and the cops finally showed up.

"Lettuce handle this"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/I_eat_crayon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't find my limbo bar. Someone must have stolen it!

I mean, how low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walks into his home to realize that all his lamps were stolen

He was delighted

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TJPancaker
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My wifes bank card was stolen 3 days ago.

So far they have spent less than her everyday, so I'm not saying anything.

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBrianWeldon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
A lorry load of wigs has been stolen

Police are combing the area

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Definitely not stolen

What Do You Call A Wreath Made Of $100 Bills?

Aretha Franklins

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NidalFlame
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend Sid has had his ID stolen...

He's now known as 'S'

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A lorry full of christmas trees have been stolen.

Police admit they are stumped.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I found my dog had a stash of stolen goods inside his kennel.

I think he might be a Labrador Receiver.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A man entered his home and discovered that someone had stolen every single lamp present in the house.

He was absolutely delighted.

πŸ‘︎ 353
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/entangled_dicks
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Stolen
πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/candyroxnrulz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the boy whose glasses were stolen find them?

He had his contacts

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
5 puppies were stolen from the pet shop yesterday....

Police are warning people to look out for anyone selling hot dogs.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Hair today, gone tomorrow. (Stolen from r/tumblr)
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Domolord156
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
All the toilets in the police station have been stolen!

Unfortunately, the cops have nothing to go on...

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VegetarianReaper
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
The local police station has had its toilet stolen

Officers have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 174
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lenzar86
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My mate David had his ID stolen...

... I now call him Dav.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gbuckingham89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.