Why are thieves silent?
Because stealing is not aloud
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︎ Jul 19 2020
Why do they always use thieves as the high speed units in RPGs?
Because they're so dodgy.
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︎ Aug 06 2020
Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding puns (pun line underneath)
Because they take things literally
π︎ 9
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︎ Jul 29 2020
Thieves have broken into and stolen all the toilets at the Police Station
Detectives have nothing to go on
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︎ May 14 2020
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
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︎ Apr 30 2020
To the thieves that took my antidepressants
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︎ Mar 07 2020
Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.
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︎ Nov 22 2019
Why do thieves never get a good joke?
They always take things literally.
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︎ Jan 22 2020
Some thieves recently made off with a bunch of sheep by riding them away.
Be careful, I herd they were on the lamb.
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︎ Apr 20 2020
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
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︎ Mar 27 2020
What do thieves make their weapons from?
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︎ Jul 08 2019
Thieves broke into a Toy store and stole all their board-games.
Police are currently looking for Clues.
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︎ Oct 23 2019
I can't decide whether to join the Bard's College or the Thieves Guild
I'll just have to weigh the prose and the cons.
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︎ Sep 18 2019
My local movie theatre got robbed tonight, and the thieves got away with just over $1200...
They got 2 Large Cokes, a Large Popcorn, and a box of Skittles.
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︎ Jul 13 2019
Some thieves stole hundreds of cans of Red Bull from our local convenience store.
I donβt know how they can sleep at night.
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︎ May 04 2019
What do olympians and thieves have in common?
They go for the gold, but sometimes have to settle for coppers.
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︎ Mar 20 2019
What kind of shoes do thieves wear?
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︎ May 08 2019
How do you catch salt and pepper shaker thieves?
With a shakedown from seasoned officers.
π︎ 9
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︎ Dec 12 2018
The best thieves steal from birthday parties.
They really take the cake.
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︎ Feb 07 2019
Thieves broke into the police station and stole all their light-bulbs.
Police are in the dark as to a motive.
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︎ Feb 26 2019
Why do undead make good thieves?
π︎ 13
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︎ Nov 22 2017
I watched as thieves stole from a music shop.
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︎ Nov 03 2018
The thieves thought they were so smart cutting the video feeds, but they were caught anyway
Everything was being recorded
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︎ Jul 28 2018
What bird species make the best thieves?
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︎ Dec 31 2018
π︎ 10
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︎ Feb 08 2018
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︎ Mar 01 2017
I just got a job at a Samsung store. I've already caught 3 thieves!
Im a real guardian of the galaxy.
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︎ May 03 2018
I just watched a bad movie about sea thieves.
In a review, I gave it a 3.14 rating.
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 10 2018
Happened last night while watching Den of Thieves with my dad.
Dad: Is that 50 cents?
Me: Yes dad that is 50 cent.
Dad: After this bank robbery he's gonna have to adjust his name for inflation...
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︎ May 12 2018
What do you call a musical ensemble of thieves?
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︎ Oct 12 2015
Why do thieves have trouble getting puns....
Becuse they keep taking things literally
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︎ Oct 03 2013
Did you hear about the thieves that stole a whole truckload of Viagra?
The police are looking for hardened criminals
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︎ Jun 24 2015
Two thieves stole all of the roof tiles from the village church...
It was a separation of church and slate.
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︎ Dec 21 2014
Why was the prince of thieves kicked out of the ghetto?
Because he was robbin' hood.
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︎ May 13 2018
Why don't thieves speak Common?
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 03 2014
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
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︎ Nov 19 2019
Did you hear about the two thieves that stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
π︎ 21
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︎ Feb 07 2020
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 08 2019
Thieves stole all the toilets out of the local police station.
Detectives say they have absolutely nothing to go on.
π︎ 13
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︎ Sep 06 2018
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar?
π︎ 30
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︎ May 27 2019
Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.
π︎ 22
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︎ Nov 24 2018
So I just heard about two thieves that stole a calendar...
They each got six months!
π︎ 6
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︎ May 13 2019
All thieves are bad...
But birthday party thieves really take the cake if you ask me.
π︎ 16
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︎ Jan 30 2019
Sneak thieves steal constabulary toilets.
Police have nothing to go on...
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 23 2018
Some thieves stole 50 crates of Red Bull from my local store
I don't know how they sleep at night.
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︎ Aug 21 2017
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