Why are thieves silent?

Because stealing is not aloud

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nlck_grrr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do they always use thieves as the high speed units in RPGs?

Because they're so dodgy.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSquigles
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding puns (pun line underneath)

Because they take things literally

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Remsta08
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Thieves have broken into and stolen all the toilets at the Police Station

Detectives have nothing to go on

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar?

They each got six months.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
To the thieves that took my antidepressants

I hope you’re happy.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stubbly_bubbly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.

Dirty Bastards.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YDAQ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do thieves never get a good joke?

They always take things literally.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/24Anuj24
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Some thieves recently made off with a bunch of sheep by riding them away.

Be careful, I herd they were on the lamb.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.

We call it our Con Den session.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Allgen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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What do thieves make their weapons from?

Steal.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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Thieves broke into a Toy store and stole all their board-games.

Police are currently looking for Clues.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't decide whether to join the Bard's College or the Thieves Guild

I'll just have to weigh the prose and the cons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My local movie theatre got robbed tonight, and the thieves got away with just over $1200...

They got 2 Large Cokes, a Large Popcorn, and a box of Skittles.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectOcoee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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Some thieves stole hundreds of cans of Red Bull from our local convenience store.

I don’t know how they can sleep at night.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do olympians and thieves have in common?

They go for the gold, but sometimes have to settle for coppers.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beaverpudding
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of shoes do thieves wear?

Sneakers

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryannbajaj
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you catch salt and pepper shaker thieves?

With a shakedown from seasoned officers.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAmHumanSoAMA
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
🚨︎ report
The best thieves steal from birthday parties.

They really take the cake.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vaxis2113
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Thieves broke into the police station and stole all their light-bulbs.

Police are in the dark as to a motive.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do undead make good thieves?

They have skeleton keys!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iceberger3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2017
🚨︎ report
I watched as thieves stole from a music shop.

Buncha luters.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/questionall101
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2018
🚨︎ report
The thieves thought they were so smart cutting the video feeds, but they were caught anyway

Everything was being recorded

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
🚨︎ report
What bird species make the best thieves?

Robins

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuietGiantWRX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Thieves stole a truck with 1,000,000 doses of viagra reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schmidt_1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
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Car thieves only care about one thing... imgur.com/hM1OFTr
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dhalsimballskin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2017
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I just got a job at a Samsung store. I've already caught 3 thieves!

Im a real guardian of the galaxy.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShinyBurger
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
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I just watched a bad movie about sea thieves.

In a review, I gave it a 3.14 rating.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TacoNumeroJuan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Happened last night while watching Den of Thieves with my dad.

Dad: Is that 50 cents?

Me: Yes dad that is 50 cent.

Dad: After this bank robbery he's gonna have to adjust his name for inflation...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DConner777
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a musical ensemble of thieves?

A robber band.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BuenaPisteada
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2015
🚨︎ report
Why do thieves have trouble getting puns....

Becuse they keep taking things literally

πŸ‘︎ 274
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickaq
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2013
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the thieves that stole a whole truckload of Viagra?

The police are looking for hardened criminals

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sweaterlegs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2015
🚨︎ report
Two thieves stole all of the roof tiles from the village church...

It was a separation of church and slate.

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KZedUK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2014
🚨︎ report
Why was the prince of thieves kicked out of the ghetto?

Because he was robbin' hood.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unlucky_genius
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Why don't thieves speak Common?

Because thieves' cant.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RabbiRexTexas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2014
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar?

They each got six months.

πŸ‘︎ 118
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the two thieves that stole a calendar?

They each got six months.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pol_lesa
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar?

They each got six months.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Thieves stole all the toilets out of the local police station.

Detectives say they have absolutely nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayZinnet
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar?

They each got six months

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dingdongsnottor
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.

Dirty Bastards.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
So I just heard about two thieves that stole a calendar...

They each got six months!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
All thieves are bad...

But birthday party thieves really take the cake if you ask me.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Akronnnn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Sneak thieves steal constabulary toilets.

Police have nothing to go on...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Some thieves stole 50 crates of Red Bull from my local store

I don't know how they sleep at night.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GladstoneBrookes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2017
🚨︎ report

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