Cheating Slot
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caoboywubz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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Burying someone in the wrong slot is a grave mistake
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Padlix
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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A coworker tried fitting an aluminum can into the paper slot of a recycling bin, and it got stuck.

I told him, "For you, they should call them aluminum can'ts."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cl350rg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
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What’s a more concrete term for butt crack?

Asphalt.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KhaleesiDog
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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Why do I put a condom on my debit card?

Filthy slots.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rippegari
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar...

...so I have to fill her slot instead.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_kefir
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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Finally got use use my favorite dad joke

While my girlfriend and I were paying for our groceries, the cashier asked "Do you want the milk in a bag?"

I said "It's okay, you can leave it in the jug."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Willziac
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2014
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I've just started up a dating site for chickens.

Its not my normal day job, I'm just doing it to make Hens meet.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thewargingned
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian

πŸ‘︎ 156
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lbon6201
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2018
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My dad hit me with this one when I was a kid.

http://i.imgur.com/p9F6ZQJ.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 538
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyei8hts
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2014
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Just happened at work.

Coworker was cutting slots into foam for different tools in the toolbox shelves. He was almost done when he realized he forgot the tape measure. When he went to find a place for it, he said it looks like it would be a tight fit. I looked at him and said "looks like you need to remeasure".

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jwardell42
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
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My dad called the dentist about a toothache..

"I need to book an appointment asap, its about an ongoing toothache"

"Thats fine sir, the earliest we have is at 11 am Tuesday if thats ok with you?"

Dad- "Are you sure you heard me correctly? I said toothache, I need the appropriate time slot for that type of appointment,"

"What do you mean sir? What would be your preferred time and I can see if there's an availability"

Dad- "Two-thirty"

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdamRouse
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2014
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At the Coinstar machine with my cousin.

My cousin and I pour two buckets of coins in to the machine and it kicks out the rejects into a little slot. My cousin starts sending them back through the machine to try to get them accepted.

I look over and say, "come on, now you're just nickel and diming it."

The teller chuckles. My cousin rolls her eyes and says, "you're not funny."

I say, "that's just your two cents."

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JabbaDHutt
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2014
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I was with my dad at a science museum many years ago

one of the exibits was showing kids centripital force by them putting a penny or nickel in a slot and watching it roll around a tube and be held against the sides even when it was rolling horizontally. really cool stuff

my dad looks at it and says "man, talk about money down the drain."

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gygaxfan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2013
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My mom pulls a dad joke at the ATM.

My mom and I park in front of the ATM so she can get some cash. I wait in the passenger seat as she goes to the ATM. I look up just in time to see her turn around and start jumping up and down saying "I won! I won!" like she just hit the jackpot at a slot machine. Oh gosh, that's embarrassing...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeremymg
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2014
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