.. But Screaming Goat videos are the Greatest Of All Time!
Apparently he doesn't like fast foods
...but now I think it's growing on me."
They always want to hang out.
He was always going on about those damn tree-huggers.
The bartender replies βwhy the long paws?β
Slothy seconds
Fritos.
I told my husband that the National Zoo's sloth bear gave birth but ate two of the three babies. He said "now she's guilty of 2 deadly sins: sloth and gluttony."
Hubby became a father a year and a half ago but that made him a dad.
A sloth machine
I guess he was hitting the wrong sloths
Au!
The Denver Zoo just announced one of the sloths would be having a baby soon... I told my kids that there is only one best name for a sloth... Cole....
So, I'm at the counter in a liquor store, where I see that the cashier is wearing a mock Sons of Anarchy shirt that says, "Sloths of Anarchy" and has a sloth as the logo. As he's ringing me up, I'm trying to think of the perfect way to compliment his shirt. AHA! THIS WILL BE PERFECT
He hands me my receipt and I say, "Hey man, I like the shirt" falling for my trap he replies, "Oh thanks dude, do you watch the show?" My genius reply:
"Yeah I did, but it was kinda slow"
He doesn't even notice and continues to ask if I watched the whole thing. Maybe the world isn't ready for my dad jokes.
"Hey," she said, more brightly. "According to this book, 'the beaches of Cabo Blanco are frequented by a variety of wildlife, including howler and white-faced monkeys, three-toed sloths, and coatimundis.' You think we'll see a three-ted sloth, Dad?"
"I bet we do."
"Really?"
"Just look in the mirror."
"Very funny, Dad."
My sister is a giant fan of sloths, and my dad laid this on her when they were watching a movie.
Dad: Have you seen the movie, March of the Sloths?
Sis: No.
Dad: They go 2 miles, and it's 12 hours long.
Sis: -__________-
