Wife asked me for reasons behind my laziness, I have more than one.
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︎ Apr 23 2021
The 5 signs of laziness
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︎ Aug 29 2019
My laziness is like the number 8.
Once it lies down, it becomes infinite.
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︎ Jun 26 2019
You know what they say about laziness...
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︎ May 11 2019
If laziness was an Olympic sport,
I would probably come in fourth, so that I donβt have to walk to the podium.
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︎ Apr 12 2018
If there was an award for laziness,
I'd make someone go get it for me.
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︎ May 08 2018
Someone find me the symptoms for laziness.
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︎ Nov 06 2018
America's decline is in its laziness, exemplified by pre-shredded cheese.
Make America grate again.
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︎ Dec 05 2016
What part of the brain is associated with laziness?
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︎ Oct 29 2014
My girlfriends laziness helped contribute to me dad joking her.
I had left work yesterday and she had told me she would make the bed. I came home last night and it wasn't made but she was already asleep.
In the morning I ask why she didn't make the bed when she said she would and she jokingly says, "the mattress threw a tantrum!"
I then say to her, "When you're disciplining your mattress you have to firm."
She groaned, I laughed, and I was proud. She never saw it coming.
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︎ Jun 07 2014
Someone called me lazy today.
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︎ Apr 29 2021
I have a buddy who is a prominent geologist, but outside of work, he's very lazy and inactive.
He lives a sedimentary lifestyle
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︎ Apr 19 2021
I got into a fight with a guy who had a lazy eye
I just didn't like the way he was looking at me
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︎ May 02 2021
Lazy hot dog vendors
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︎ May 04 2021
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
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︎ Feb 06 2021
Did you hear about the teacher with two lazy eyes?
Didn't last more then a day, couldn't control his pupils.
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︎ Mar 15 2021
What's a lazy worker's least favorite keyboard key?
π︎ 7
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︎ Apr 01 2021
My lazy friend got a job at a stable...
Now he can REALLY horse around.
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︎ Mar 24 2021
What do Australians call lazy English men
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︎ Mar 31 2021
I am sick and tired of people calling me lazy, so I'm going to kill myself.
But, the gun is all the way over there.
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︎ Mar 11 2021
My son just asked what do you call a lazy doctor
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︎ Mar 14 2021
My lazy son insisted that I buy him a pair of $200 sneakers.
But I bought him loafers instead.
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︎ Mar 08 2021
I got lazy, but here are day 11, 12 and 13 of Dadvent!
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︎ Dec 13 2020
My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
It's not like I did something
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︎ Jul 21 2020
What do you call a country of lazy people?
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︎ Sep 16 2020
A murderer once stopped killing, became lazy, and was only enjoying life. He became a
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︎ Jan 04 2021
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
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︎ Jan 07 2021
I have a bunch of lazy people jokes
They never work out anyways
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︎ Jan 15 2021
Don't be mad at lazy people
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︎ Jan 08 2021
My weiner dog is so lazy...
Not much dash in that hound
Credit u/themayanacockandlips on r/aww
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︎ Jan 12 2021
What do you call a lazy person thatβs stoned?
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︎ Nov 29 2020
Rivers are so lazy...
They never get out of their beds.
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︎ Sep 07 2020
Lazy Christmas morning, my wife is looking at the weather, says there will be periods of rain today.
I say, Damn! Do they make a pad for that?
Without a pause, she says: Depends
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︎ Dec 25 2020
Old [and lazy] guy at work says, βyou know what work out is best for lazy people?β
βDiddly squatβ. Dead pan serious as he says it too.
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︎ Dec 01 2020
Is not fair to get mad at lazy people...
They didnβt do anything.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
My son asked why our cats are so lazy
I told him it's because they're always on paws
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︎ Oct 25 2020
I donβt get why my wife gets mad at me for being lazy
Itβs not like I did anything.
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︎ Sep 21 2020
I'm bothered by lazy geologists who don't take the time to correctly identify rocks...
Sometimes they take this schist for granite.
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︎ Aug 08 2020
There's no point in getting mad at lazy people
They haven't done anything
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︎ Aug 07 2020
I've just finished writing my new book ?
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︎ Mar 30 2021
Why does the older generation hate the young lazy kids
They didn't do anything, to deserve that
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︎ Aug 05 2020
Wife said I was lazy
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︎ Aug 17 2020
What's a schizophrenic's favorite Christmas song?
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Iβm not saying that heβs lazy,
But his smoke alarm has a snooze button.
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︎ Aug 29 2020
My laziness is exactly like the number 8
If it lays down, it becomes infinite
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︎ Nov 18 2019
My kidsβ laziness is like the number 8.
When they lie down, it becomes infinite.
π︎ 9
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︎ Aug 21 2018
Don't be mad at lazy people
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︎ Nov 22 2020
What do you call a country of lazy people?
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︎ Sep 12 2020
dont get mad at lazy people
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︎ Jul 20 2020
Don't get mad at lazy people..
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︎ Feb 26 2020
Donβt get mad at lazy people.
Itβs not like they did anything.
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︎ Jul 26 2020
What kind of exercise do lazy people do ?
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︎ Jun 06 2020
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