The 5 signs of laziness
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︎ Aug 29 2019
My laziness is like the number 8.
Once it lies down, it becomes infinite.
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︎ Jun 26 2019
You know what they say about laziness...
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︎ May 11 2019
If there was an award for laziness,
I'd make someone go get it for me.
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︎ May 08 2018
If laziness was an Olympic sport,
I would probably come in fourth, so that I donβt have to walk to the podium.
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︎ Apr 12 2018
Someone find me the symptoms for laziness.
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︎ Nov 06 2018
America's decline is in its laziness, exemplified by pre-shredded cheese.
Make America grate again.
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︎ Dec 05 2016
What part of the brain is associated with laziness?
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︎ Oct 29 2014
My girlfriends laziness helped contribute to me dad joking her.
I had left work yesterday and she had told me she would make the bed. I came home last night and it wasn't made but she was already asleep.
In the morning I ask why she didn't make the bed when she said she would and she jokingly says, "the mattress threw a tantrum!"
I then say to her, "When you're disciplining your mattress you have to firm."
She groaned, I laughed, and I was proud. She never saw it coming.
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︎ Jun 07 2014
I got lazy, but here are day 11, 12 and 13 of Dadvent!
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︎ Dec 13 2020
What do you call a country of lazy people?
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︎ Sep 16 2020
My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
It's not like I did something
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︎ Jul 21 2020
What do you call a lazy person thatβs stoned?
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︎ Nov 29 2020
Don't be mad at lazy people
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︎ Nov 22 2020
Old [and lazy] guy at work says, βyou know what work out is best for lazy people?β
βDiddly squatβ. Dead pan serious as he says it too.
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︎ Dec 01 2020
Rivers are so lazy...
They never get out of their beds.
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︎ Sep 07 2020
My son asked why our cats are so lazy
I told him it's because they're always on paws
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︎ Oct 25 2020
Is not fair to get mad at lazy people...
They didnβt do anything.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
What's a schizophrenic's favorite Christmas song?
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︎ Dec 07 2020
I donβt get why my wife gets mad at me for being lazy
Itβs not like I did anything.
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︎ Sep 21 2020
I'm bothered by lazy geologists who don't take the time to correctly identify rocks...
Sometimes they take this schist for granite.
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︎ Aug 08 2020
There's no point in getting mad at lazy people
They haven't done anything
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︎ Aug 07 2020
Why does the older generation hate the young lazy kids
They didn't do anything, to deserve that
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︎ Aug 05 2020
Wife said I was lazy
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︎ Aug 17 2020
Iβm not saying that heβs lazy,
But his smoke alarm has a snooze button.
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︎ Aug 29 2020
What kind of exercise do lazy people do ?
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︎ Jun 06 2020
You know why I donβt eat Lazy-Boy recliners?
I donβt like chairy flavored food.
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︎ Aug 09 2020
Why do people hate lazy people?
They're not even doing anything.
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︎ May 30 2020
My friend with the lazy eye just lost his job as a teacher.
He had a real hard time controlling his pupils.
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︎ Apr 28 2020
You will never be as lazy as the man who gave a name to the..
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︎ Jun 02 2020
The person who invented the wheel to make life easier is so lazy
All he did was cut corners
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︎ Mar 26 2020
My ex girlfriend had the laziest cat, she was so lazy I actually at one point thought it was dead.
Turned out it was just catatonic.
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︎ Jun 28 2020
I dated a girl with a lazy eye once
Turns out she was seeing someone on the side
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︎ Oct 17 2019
Iβm out of shape because I was possessed by a lazy ghost.
I could use some exorcise.
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︎ Feb 13 2020
If I had to describe myself in three words, I'd have to say:
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︎ Nov 14 2020
My laziness is exactly like the number 8
If it lays down, it becomes infinite
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︎ Nov 18 2019
My kidsβ laziness is like the number 8.
When they lie down, it becomes infinite.
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︎ Aug 21 2018
What do you call a country of lazy people?
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︎ Sep 12 2020
dont get mad at lazy people
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︎ Jul 20 2020
Donβt get mad at lazy people.
Itβs not like they did anything.
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︎ Jul 26 2020
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
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︎ Jul 31 2020
Don't get mad at lazy people..
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︎ Feb 26 2020
I hate it when my wife gets mad at me for being lazy.
It's not like I did anything !
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︎ Jul 20 2020
Dont get mad at lazy people
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︎ Mar 02 2020
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
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︎ Apr 12 2020
Donβt be mad at lazy people
They didnβt do anything
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︎ Mar 07 2020
Why does society seem to hate lazy people?
They didn't even do anything.
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︎ Feb 18 2020
Don't get mad at lazy people
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︎ Feb 28 2020
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
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︎ Nov 14 2019
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