Silent letter Puns

They are just waiting their turn.

They’re waiting for their turn

...we'd never hear the end of it.

It's just a 'q' with a bunch of silent letters waiting in a line.

• What's the difference between mononucleosis and herpes? You get mono from snatching kisses.

• If you were to lose your left arm, you'd be all right.

• Why can't you hear a pteradactyl going to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.

• Communists only write in lower-case letters because they hate capitalism.

• I got a new job at the police sketching pictures of suspects. I'm a con artist.

• Cat Woman's real name is Catherine Woman.

• I have a new cat joke. ...Just kitt'en.

• How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for Fresh Prints. *

• Did you hear about the two men who stole a calendar? They got six months each.

• I just saw an Apple store get robbed. Does that make me an iWitness?

• Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.

• I'm moving to Seoul. I was told it would be a good Korea move.

• Did you hear about the professor who was killed in a car accident? He was grading papers on a curve.

• Why isn't an iPhone charger called Apple Juice?

• Ever try to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

• When Peter Pan throws punches, they Never Land.

• I was struggling to understand how lightning works, but then it struck me.

• Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time, too.

• Apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the moon, and then follow up with, "Ah, I guess you had to be there."

• I'm going to make a TV series about a plane hijacking. We just shot the pilot.

• Would you call a drunk working at an upholstery a recovering alcoholic?

• Yesterday I got covered in ketchup from my head tomatoes.

• Even though I've gone bald, I still keep the same comb I've had for 20 years. I just can't part with it.

• Picture of my sister after getting her nose pierced "She nose something!"

• I went to the dentist and showed him my cavity. He told me to pull up my pants and get the hell out.

• Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It was okay - he woke up.

• So what if I can't spell armageddon. It's not the end of the world.

• When you get an infection, urine trouble.

• "Hey waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!" "Yes, sir; it's fresh ground."

• How did the butcher introduce his wife? "Meat Patty."

• Elton John is a great piano player, but he sucks on the organ.

• Elton John wrote a tribute to Amy Winehouse: Candle Under the Spoon *

• What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke. *

*My absolut

That night somebody had broken into his shop and stolen a few very expensive suits, and he wanted the person responsible arrested.

He approached the counter, where the owner of the workshop stood.

 

"Hi!" she said. "I'm Emmy, how can I help you today?"

 

"Well, I have this problem, and I saw online that you could help me for cheap." he responded.

"My shop was robbed of some of my most expensive suits tonight, and I want your help catching the perpetrator."

 

"That's awful, but I am confused as to how I would be of assistance?" she said.

The tailor was silent for a second, noticeably confused.

Before he had a chance to respond she asked,

"What did you see on our website?"

 

"Well I didn't actually see it on your website, there was actually this ad that intrigued me. It had big bold letters and read:

For a limited time only, click the link to find the cheapest and best deals!!! Emmy's Suit cases - Now 50% off!!!"

But those letters aren't silent, they're just waiting their turn

They must be waiting for their turn.

They’re just waiting their turn...

We’d never hear the end of it.

They are waiting for their turn.