Shorty Puns

A bit of backstory. I'm notorious among my circle of friends for telling "terrible puns/jokes" I think it's amazing, but I'd been rolling them out all day, patience for puns must've gotten shortened.

I'm talking with Shorty (named because she had short hair) and she was telling me about a book she had started.

Shorty "So the book's called 'Cutting for Stone' and it's like a doctor drama kinda thing, the only issue is that that it's super heavy on the medical terminology, so many bloody surgeries and procedures are listed, and I don't really know anything about that kids stuff. Like it's got an interesting plot but I don't know if I can't finish it, I'm not to sure I'm cut out for it"

At that last line I began laughing (her pun was unintentional) and compliment her on it "ha that was good. You're not 'cut out' for it"

Shorty "Oh god that was terrible just stop"

Me "You want me to 'cut' it out?"

Shorty "I'm going to kill you if you keep this up woman"

Me "You're gonna 'cut' me up?"

Shorty "Your jokes are terrible and it's proven that puns make people angry"

At this point I was just rolling in my chair laughing I really couldn't keep it together, possibly the best reply rolls through my head after this comment, I crack up, there I am choking out as tears come to my eyes. "Well it's a good thing it's not a PUNishable offense"

The girl next to me starts laughing as shorty yells at me how I can't just start crying at my own jokes.

TLDR; A witty banter of sharper than usual humor, as I walk a razor thin line of pissing off my friend and pissing myself with laughter.

I have many other stories so I titled this part one,if anybody likes my writing and jokes I'll share the rest!

You my lil' shorty.

I was wearing high heels, which is unusual for me, and talking with two friends when I said, "Hey [Friend 1], I'm almost taller than you!" (I'm a shorty, 5'2")

Friend 2, "Nah Brunchy you still have a lot to go"

Me, "Well then these heels are pointless."

Friend 1, "Yeah they have a rounded front."

She's going to be a fantastic dad one day.

My friend Shorty and I went to our schools football game and are looking out for our other friend.

Shorty: agh I see her but there are so many people, she's an ocean away.

Me: An ocean? AN ocean?! Well which one! Be more Pacific.

Shorty from an upcoming dad.

I was visiting the inlaws last week and my sister(inlaw) let her 1 year old run around freely, having a good time.

At some point, grandpa handed him a watch, which he immediately held to his ear as if it was a phone (he likes playing with his dad's phone).

Grandpa: "I've never seen that model iphone before, it looks futuristic" Me: Well, at least it has Face-Time....

Am i ready for Dadding?