Wife: Babe you keep putting the remote in random places...

Me: Correction, I keep putting the remote in "remote" places. That's where it belongs right?

I got a eye roll and a sigh, score.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Magoogooo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a line of well dressed, sizzling hot babes?

Barbie queue.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxBurntToastxx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Husband: Babe, I got paid more than I expected! This is great!!!!

Wife: Sweet! How much are we talking??

Husband: Well it is normally $1000, but this time I got $1000.02!!!!!!!

Wife: ...thats not that great.

Husband: Well I think it is, but that’s just my two cents.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jhench78
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
From the mouths of babes (in this case my seven year old daughter as I was leaving this morning...)

Daughter: Dad, it's really STUPID out there today. You'd better take your dumbrella.

Me: I've never been more proud.

πŸ‘︎ 129
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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I said to my wife β€œI hate to tell you this babe, but your bathing suit is too revealing and tight”

She said β€œthen wear your own one then”

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigpapastu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked if I would like to BBQ some brats for dinner. I said, β€œNo way, babe.”

β€œBrats are the wurst.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
She: Babes I'm pregnant!! I wonder what our son is gonna look like.

Me: nah, he's gonna wonder what I look like.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/asisdeo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Ok babe, I have a question. I'm pretty sure the answer is no...

...but what is the opposite of yes?

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/artvandelay440
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Wife yells from kitchen: Babe, we're almost out of trash bags...

I yelled back: Well why do you keep throwing them away?

I got a very stern look.

πŸ‘︎ 317
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lboogie09
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œBabe you’re not giving me mushroom”
πŸ‘︎ 179
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mark_ryan2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Who's the Babe? imgur.com/MYY2T8c
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pkacgu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2013
🚨︎ report
My dad just used this pickup line on my mom at breakfast: "Hey Babe..... do you have an inhaler?"

".....cuz you got dat assssss, ma!"

I spit out my cornflakes and ironically was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.

πŸ‘︎ 332
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"

Sunni and Shia

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pastad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I was telling my girlfriend about how I needed to get something out of my truck. I guess I must have said this before, because she responded, "I'm aware, babe."

I responded, "So you are only a babe during full moons?"

πŸ‘︎ 296
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lunatic721
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2015
🚨︎ report
Hey babe. Do you have aphantasia? reddit.com/r/Aphantasia/c…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/idraw4l1f3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
🚨︎ report
She said resolve the CAPCHA, I said babes...

Mans not bot

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sneakergod03
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
🚨︎ report
"Babe can you move over?" "But I don't have mushroom."

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C1YAA2xXAAE0Tcx.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BreakingGarrick
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear what happened when Babe Ruth finally quit playing for the Yankees?

The team became ruthless.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gronke
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Hey babe! There are holes in all of your socks!

Wife: Really?? What the hell happened?

Me: They must have been made that way. How else would you be able to get your feet into them?

Wife: eyeroll

God I'm good!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebestisyetocome
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2016
🚨︎ report

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