What should you use with Batman shampoo?
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︎ Dec 18 2020
Curse the creator of autocorrect! I asked my friend what the best shampoo to use was, and he replied βPanettoneβ.
That was last Tuesday, and I still havenβt got all the crumbs out of my hair.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
My Dad always told me to stand on a bottle of shampoo at job interviews...
That way I'd be 'head & shoulders' above the competition.
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︎ Oct 22 2020
I don't use shampoo when I wash my hair.
I'm a man - I use real poo.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
I go through so much shampoo it's just ridiculous!
I don't know, maybe my head is bigger than most but it does say to use a cap full.
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︎ Oct 26 2020
The inventor of Hard and Shoulders shampoo died. At the funeral, his wife gave a 20 minute moving eulogy...
There wasn't a dry scalp in the place!
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︎ Oct 06 2020
In the last weeks campaign, I was asked to get the opinions of women on what shampoo were they currently using........
The most common answer I got was......................
"EEEEKK!! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET INTO MY BATHROOM???!!!"
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︎ Oct 21 2020
What do you call pig shampoo?
π︎ 23
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︎ Sep 06 2020
People who take good care of their hair with just shampoo and water...
must love it unconditionally.
π︎ 82
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︎ Jul 14 2020
What do you get if you fill a shampoo bottle with chocolate sauce?
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 20 2020
What's more important, shampoo or conditioner?
Is it the foamer or the lather
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︎ Jul 28 2020
If you ever have to cancel plans with friends your excuse should be that you have to wash your hair in a lukewarm shower with high quality dandruff shampoo.
At least that way your friends can never call you flakey.
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︎ Jul 23 2020
I asked 100 women which kind of shampoo they used.
The number one answer was, "How the hell did you get in here?"
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︎ Feb 25 2020
Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo?
π︎ 8k
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︎ Mar 28 2019
Slightly peeved that the makers of the shampoo, "Head and Shoulders"...
β¦have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
π︎ 8k
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︎ Mar 11 2019
The directions for my new dandruff shampoo are very confusing.
It's a real head-scratcher!
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︎ Jun 16 2020
I donβt understand why my wife spends so much money on shampoo...
Itβs not even real poo.
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︎ May 24 2020
Help: Spent my whole shower trying to think of comic book-based puns for toiletries. Best I could do was Conditioner Gordon and a 2 in 1 shampoo named Harvey Dent.
Maybe a No More Tears version called Daredevil? I donβt know. A sleeping mask called the Dark Night? Deadpoop toilet paper? Iβm drowning here, man.
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︎ Feb 17 2020
Singing in the shower is great until you get shampoo in your mouth
π︎ 120
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︎ Oct 23 2019
My girlfriend thought it would be funny to replace my medicated shampoo with regular shampoo. I tried to understand why it was funny, but
the joke just left me scratching my head.
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︎ Feb 12 2020
Why doesn't Nancy Pelosi use shampoo
Because the bottle says it's tear free.
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︎ Feb 06 2020
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 06 2019
Why did the blonde go through a whole bottle of shampoo?
Because the directions said lather rinse repeat.
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︎ Oct 07 2019
What is the invisible man's favorite shampoo?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jun 18 2019
Shampoo
This morning my girlfriend was telling me about her new shampoo, that comes without additives and sulfates and all that jazz.
GF: It's called "no poo" shampoo
Me: Sounds like a bit of a sham to me
She didn't get it.
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︎ Feb 07 2014
Ban Shampoo
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︎ Dec 25 2018
The guests in this hotel are always stealing all the soaps, shower gels and shampoos from their rooms...
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︎ Apr 27 2019
Don't accept shampoo...
π︎ 20
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︎ Jul 19 2018
I was walking along the other day when someone threw some shampoo at me.
Unfortunately it turned out to be real poo.
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 20 2018
My anti-dandruff shampoo worked really well for me.
It was head and shoulders above the competition.
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 06 2019
You can improve the efficiency of your air conditioner by using it after your air shampoo!
π︎ 85
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︎ Sep 17 2016
I got shampoo in my eyes while showering today
My boyfriend said, "That must've been an eye-soapening experience."
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︎ Oct 15 2017
Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica?
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︎ Jan 20 2019
My hair grows fast because I shampoo it with thyme
π︎ 3
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︎ Feb 13 2019
My shampoo bottle was empty... [Repost]
π︎ 186
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︎ May 30 2015
So my dad was talking about Head and Shoulders shampoo
So naturally I said, "What about Knees and Toes?"
Got him with the reverse-dad joke.
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︎ Dec 12 2018
I just squeezed the shampoo bottle a little too hard
Head and Shoulders on my knees and toes, knees and toes
π︎ 18
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︎ Mar 12 2020
Slightly peeved that the makers of the shampoo, "Head and Shoulders"...
β¦have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
π︎ 209
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︎ Aug 12 2019
I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred.
Their number one answer was,
βHOW THE HELL DID YOU GET IN HERE?!β
π︎ 54
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︎ Jul 10 2019
Slightly peeved that the makers of the shampoo "Head and Shoulders"...
β¦have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
π︎ 3k
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︎ May 05 2017
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth
Then it just becomes a soap opera
π︎ 282
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︎ Jun 09 2018
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth.
π︎ 19
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︎ Jul 04 2019
I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred.
All of them replied: "How the hell did
you get in here?"
π︎ 2
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︎ Sep 19 2019
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 04 2019
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
π︎ 171
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︎ Jul 16 2018
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth...
Then it becomes a soap opera...
π︎ 262
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︎ Jul 05 2017
Boycott shampoo!!!
π︎ 15
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︎ Jan 17 2018
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