An old mine shaft collapsed on a bunch of workers the other day.

But it’s okay, they only suffered miner injuries.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/llcoolg72
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2020
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I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.

It's in A flat minor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrPeteO
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 18 2020
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What note do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft.

A flat miner

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2020
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Why does the second Sunday in May always make Shaft feel guilty?

He is a bad mother.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 30 2020
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Whenever I encountered one of life's little traumas, my Dad would take me to one side and say "it could be worse - you could be submerged in water twenty foot down a dark shaft"

Bless him - He meant well

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Scobberlotcherz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2019
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What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft

A Duct-ape. Hahaha any dads laugh in approval?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ultmtweemanfrsh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12 2019
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What musical note does a piano make when falling down a mine shaft?

...a flat minor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kennethjc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 10 2017
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How do carve an arrow shaft from a tree branch?

A whittle at a time

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TeamXII
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 18 2018
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Why did the prospector have to take his pickaxe out of the shaft when he was done?

It was a miner safety hazard.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/celt1299
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 26 2015
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If Shaft was a lumberjack, would that make him a plaid mamma jamma?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LegoGreenLantern
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 04 2015
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Need some good puns when I whip this bad boy out on the course today. Help me out you geniuses!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mac-n-treez
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2020
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A man that makes a mistake in an elevator,

is wrong on many levels

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mystichunterz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 24 2020
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CNC Machinist dadjoke...

I had some shafts come in from machining vendor. They were oversized, so I had them returned to be re-turned and then returned.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 20 2020
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I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.

I got shafted.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 189
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2019
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I had sex with a miner.

She was a gold digger.

She was super into metal.

We got stoned together.

I'm thinking about coaling her, but you're supposed to wait 3 days.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Death_By_Pun
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 08 2019
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Proud day for me! My son got me with this exchange while looking at a new building being constructed.

Me: β€œThis thing is going to be huge.”

Son: β€œWhy? It’s only three floors high.”

Me: β€œLook at that elevator shaft! They’re going to build more on!”

Son: β€œGeez Dad, that’s a bit harsh.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 23 2019
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While all physical labor jobs are hard on your body...

...Coal miners really get the shaft.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Androidsunrise
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2019
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I used to be an elevator operator

It had its ups and downs. There was this kid who would come in and try to interfere with my job. Man, he really knew how to push my buttons.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KnowBuddysPerfect
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2013
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What's the point of a spear?

It's that part at the tip of the shaft.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Oy-Law
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2019
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Several miners got trapped but the mining company refused to help them.

One could say the miners got shafted.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 14 2019
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Life is like an elevator...

it has its ups and downs, but most of the time you just get the shaft.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/justcrazytalk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2018
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*stuck in an elevator*

Me:We really got the shaft.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/coot32
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2018
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

show more
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DontFuckWithMyMoney
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2016
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My wife dadjoked my son (and me) with this Minecraft gem.

Our 8 y/o son loves Minecraft. Without our oversight, he'd play all day every day. He was allowed to play on Sunday afternoon. He chose to play survivor mode, and he came running into the room where we were sitting to brag, "MOM, PAPI, I dug a shaft down into this hill and I found TWO DIAMONDS!"

He continued on, "So, since I'm in survival mode, should I use the diamonds to make a hoe or a pickax?" Something like that, comparing what it would cost him from something called his "workbench" and "inventory." Admittedly, I've only played creative mode with him, so I don't know all the terms.

Anyway, without missing a beat, my wife says, "Son, always spend your diamonds on hoes."

I love that woman so very much.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14 2015
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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat minor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/theflashsawyer23
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 18 2020
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What chord does a piano make when it falls down a mine shaft?

A flat miner

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 04 2020
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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner

πŸ‘οΈŽ 65
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JustFapped69Times
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 30 2019
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What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Patfan74
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2020
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What do you get when a piano drops in a mine shaft?

A flat minor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/armsleevedude
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 30 2019
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What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/puggoamber
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 13 2019
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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bullrawg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2017
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What chord did the piano that fell down the mine shaft play?

A flat miner

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StringTailor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 13 2018
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