An old mine shaft collapsed on a bunch of workers the other day.

But it’s okay, they only suffered miner injuries.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/llcoolg72
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.

It's in A flat minor.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrPeteO
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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What note do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft.

A flat miner

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Why does the second Sunday in May always make Shaft feel guilty?

He is a bad mother.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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Whenever I encountered one of life's little traumas, my Dad would take me to one side and say "it could be worse - you could be submerged in water twenty foot down a dark shaft"

Bless him - He meant well

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scobberlotcherz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft

A Duct-ape. Hahaha any dads laugh in approval?

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ultmtweemanfrsh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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What musical note does a piano make when falling down a mine shaft?

...a flat minor

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kennethjc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2017
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How do carve an arrow shaft from a tree branch?

A whittle at a time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TeamXII
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
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Why did the prospector have to take his pickaxe out of the shaft when he was done?

It was a miner safety hazard.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/celt1299
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2015
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If Shaft was a lumberjack, would that make him a plaid mamma jamma?
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LegoGreenLantern
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2015
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Why did the blind man fall into the well?

Because he couldn't see that well

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TotallyUnassuming
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Need some good puns when I whip this bad boy out on the course today. Help me out you geniuses!
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mac-n-treez
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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A man that makes a mistake in an elevator,

is wrong on many levels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mystichunterz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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CNC Machinist dadjoke...

I had some shafts come in from machining vendor. They were oversized, so I had them returned to be re-turned and then returned.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.

I got shafted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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I had sex with a miner.

She was a gold digger.

She was super into metal.

We got stoned together.

I'm thinking about coaling her, but you're supposed to wait 3 days.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Death_By_Pun
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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Proud day for me! My son got me with this exchange while looking at a new building being constructed.

Me: β€œThis thing is going to be huge.”

Son: β€œWhy? It’s only three floors high.”

Me: β€œLook at that elevator shaft! They’re going to build more on!”

Son: β€œGeez Dad, that’s a bit harsh.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
While all physical labor jobs are hard on your body...

...Coal miners really get the shaft.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Androidsunrise
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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I used to be an elevator operator

It had its ups and downs. There was this kid who would come in and try to interfere with my job. Man, he really knew how to push my buttons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KnowBuddysPerfect
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2013
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What's the point of a spear?

It's that part at the tip of the shaft.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oy-Law
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Several miners got trapped but the mining company refused to help them.

One could say the miners got shafted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
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Life is like an elevator...

it has its ups and downs, but most of the time you just get the shaft.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justcrazytalk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
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*stuck in an elevator*

Me:We really got the shaft.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coot32
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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My wife dadjoked my son (and me) with this Minecraft gem.

Our 8 y/o son loves Minecraft. Without our oversight, he'd play all day every day. He was allowed to play on Sunday afternoon. He chose to play survivor mode, and he came running into the room where we were sitting to brag, "MOM, PAPI, I dug a shaft down into this hill and I found TWO DIAMONDS!"

He continued on, "So, since I'm in survival mode, should I use the diamonds to make a hoe or a pickax?" Something like that, comparing what it would cost him from something called his "workbench" and "inventory." Admittedly, I've only played creative mode with him, so I don't know all the terms.

Anyway, without missing a beat, my wife says, "Son, always spend your diamonds on hoes."

I love that woman so very much.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat minor

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theflashsawyer23
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What chord does a piano make when it falls down a mine shaft?

A flat miner

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustFapped69Times
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Patfan74
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when a piano drops in a mine shaft?

A flat minor

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/armsleevedude
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puggoamber
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bullrawg
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2017
🚨︎ report
What chord did the piano that fell down the mine shaft play?

A flat miner

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StringTailor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
🚨︎ report

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