I found out that my salary from starring in porn movies was going to David Hasselhoff...

All my hard work was going to pay Hoff.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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Look at my high salary...
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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I wish I could make a full salary just being a subject in sleeping experiments.

It's my dream job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OratioFidelis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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I fold my weekly salary like pairs of pants...

The project is income pleat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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Non-Profit Salaries

My dad was talking about salaries of non profit CEOs.

Me:how much does the Alzheimer's association CEO get paid

Dad: he makes 2.7 million a year.

Dad: but I bet they forgot how much they paid him.

Me:facepalm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Awwik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2015
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Potential storage loft for salaried athletes’ prosthetics is in question:

...could be pro-limb-attic!

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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When I came in at work this morning, my boss told me my breath smelled like wine.

Ofcourse it does! With my salary I can't afford any Champagne!

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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I used to work at a nut farm

The work conditions were great but the salary was peanuts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mister_origami
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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When the flutist found out she was making less money than the cellist was making...

She wondered what the bass salary is.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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What’s the best thing to put in a money salad?

Salary.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FactorManTCE
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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This month at work, the boss gave me 2 bottles of sodium hydroxide and 1 bottle of potassium hydroxide.

He said that it was my basic salary.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
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old maths teacher joke

Our teacher used to love that joke - 25 years ago...

.

A veteran maths teacher on a crap state-paid salary leaves his local mall and heads for his battered old car. When he has nearly reached it, he sees a big, expensive, luxury vehicle pulling into a parking spot nearby, and when the driver gets out he recognises him as one of the stupidest students he ever had.

He approaches him and the two get chating; and it turns out the guy buys and sells specialised cardboard-boxes which companies use to ship delicate goods in.

Finally the teacher says: "You really seem to have done well for yourself. I must admit that I am a bit surprised. Because you never really were all that talented in shool, were you?"

And the guy smiles and answers: "Yes, well, you know, there is not that much too it, really. I buy cardboard boxes for 1 dollar a piece, and I sell them for 4 dollars a piece. And I live off that 3% profit margin."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scrugulus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
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A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...

Starting salary was $13 per sour.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fitzgerh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2016
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