While driving home tonight, my daughters asked me to tell them a Taylor Swift pun. I said no, but they kept badgering and pestering me until I was so distracted that we had an accident.
Once we stopped, I turned to them and said, "Look what you just made me do!!!!"
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︎ Aug 13 2021
Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift?
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︎ Nov 03 2022
I heard Taylor Swift wrote a song about her airplane miles controversy
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︎ Sep 22 2022
I was fortunate enough to meet Taylor Swift and I told her Iβm a huge fan.
She replied, βreally? U look more like an average-sized human to meβ¦β
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︎ Mar 29 2022
Call my humor a common swift
'Cause my jokes never land.
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︎ Jan 15 2022
Putin was planning a swift strike...
But all he got was a swift strike
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︎ Mar 06 2022
Trailer Swift...
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︎ Apr 21 2021
My wife asked me to stop quoting Taylor Swift lyrics all the time
I never saw it coming, wouldnβt have suspected it
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︎ Jan 12 2021
Taylor Swift is not what she seems
I sent her my trousers to be taken up by 4 inches over 3 months ago
and I still haven't had them back!
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︎ Sep 07 2020
Taylor Swift recently got some lab work done.
Turns out she has bad blood.
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︎ May 17 2021
Teller Swift
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︎ May 09 2020
Trailer Swift
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︎ Nov 22 2017
Trailer Swift
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︎ Dec 27 2018
Shake It Off by Taylor Swift (Harry Potter cover)
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︎ May 27 2019
Who is Taylor Swift?
Is she fast at stitching clothes or something?
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︎ May 29 2019
Taylor Swift could further increase her revenue by opening an express alterations shop
and calling it Tailor Swift
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︎ Oct 25 2019
In the abandoned building down the street from "Tailor Swift" I'm going to open a sketchy-looking alteration service...
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︎ Jun 30 2016
What is Thanos' least favorite Taylor Swift song?
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︎ Nov 02 2019
I wonder if mosquitoes like Taylor Swift
Because she has bad blood
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︎ Aug 12 2018
Phil Swift had a Christmas Party
He calls it Flex Seal Navidad
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︎ Dec 29 2018
What kind of dressmaker does Taylor Swift use when in a hurry?
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︎ Jan 30 2019
Taylor Swift got attacked by a boa constrictor...
Fortunately, she was able to shake it off.
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︎ Nov 10 2017
Why didn't the vampire suck blood from Taylor Swift?
Because she had "Bad Blood"
(Heard on the radio. Made me smile)
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︎ Oct 13 2018
I've been going to rehab for my addiction to Taylor Swift lyrics.
I think i'm finally clean.
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︎ Apr 22 2018
Did you guys hear? Tom Hiddleston is dating Taylor Swift
Don't tell anyone else though, they're trying to keep it Loki
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︎ Jun 17 2016
Dad asked me about the new Taylor Swift album...
Dad: "Have you heard the new Taylor Swift album?"
Me: "1989? Yeah."
Dad: "Oh no, it was much more recent than that."
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︎ Nov 07 2015
What exercises does Taylor Swift do to stay fit?
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︎ Jan 01 2017
My mom dadjoked me over Taylor Swift leaving Spotify
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︎ Nov 05 2014
My Taylor Swift dad joke
I'm a dad. I came up with this one yesterday.
"I thought Taylor Swift was a same-day hemming service"
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︎ Nov 01 2014
What did Taylor Swift say when she entered a ruined building?
I knew you were rubble when I walked in.
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︎ Feb 19 2015
I told my Dad that I didn't like the new Taylor Swift song.
He said, "You just gotta shake it off!"
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︎ Jan 19 2015
An infomercial hosted by a guy named Phil Swift came on, and my buddy says...
"Watch out for Phil Swift, he'll pull a fast one on you."
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︎ Apr 13 2014
What is better than Taylor Swift?
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︎ May 01 2014
Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift
Because she had bad blood
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︎ Jun 29 2020
Why do vampires hate Taylor Swift
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︎ Mar 09 2019
Why do vampires hate Taylor Swift
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︎ Mar 09 2019
Why didn't the vampire bite Taylor Swift?
Because she had bad blood.
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︎ Apr 16 2018
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