Obviously a sham rock.
St Peter says to the nuns "Given you are nuns and have devoted your life to good works you only need to answer a single question each to enter Heaven."
He looks to the first nun and asks "where did the first woman live?"
The first nun quickly replied "the garden of Eden".
St Peter nods approval and looks to the second nun "what was the name of the first woman?"
The second nun pauses for a second and then replies "Eve."
"Well done!" Says St Peter before turning to the third nun and saying "As the Mother Superior you should be able to answer this; what did Eve say to Adam when she first saw him?"
The Mother Superior furrows her brow and says "oh, that's a hard one".
"Correct!" Says St Peter. "You may enter."
Carrie underwood
He was a deep friar.
Ooops, wrong bus!
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
"Oh, just a couple of minutes ago."
Missouri loves company!
His reply: "Oh, I live in a state of Missouri."
It was the Arch.
But it was at its peak in the 80s.
Stolen and butchered from https://xkcd.com/2308: Title text was “It's a good mountain but it really peaked in the 80s.”
They're trying to stop the infection from Dublin.
That may be no big deal to you, but I'd never driven a bus before.
Because the cases keep Dublin.
So had quarantinis in the house instead!
They feel some precipitation.
"I think it's raining" says the man.
"No, it's snowing" says the woman.
"Why don't we ask this communist officer?" Asks the man. "He's always right! Excuse me, officer Rudolf, is it raining or snowing?"
"Definitely raining" he says, before walking off.
The man turns to his wife with a smile. "See? Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."
Because Missouri loves Company.
Hey guys, I am tasked with designing a hashtag for out Paddy’s day. I work in an Irish pub and it’s a huge day for us. I was thinking #guinesspartystarted or #mindyouownguiness. Any awesome ideas? Thanks
He said 'no son of mine is going to be assisi!'
I think it might even keep on Dublin.
...but he's a sissy.
So I guess you could say I’m the dickhead.
You don't want to press your luck.
The patron saint of standing still for long periods of time...
St. Peter: Your number's up Euler, and Isaac Newton says you have to count all the spheres in the universe before you can enter heaven. What say ye?
Euler: Sigma balls, Dick.
Sigma is used to notate summation.
Summation is the process of adding things together.
I plan on having a beer outside sitting on our Paddy O'Furniture.
It's mini soda law.
Bonus joke: where are the trees in Minnesota?
Between da twos and da fours.
An Invest-i-gator.
That way, they'll have shamrocks.
If I pull this off, it will be quite the lepre-chaun.
His reply: "Oh, I live in a state of Missouri."
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
"Office Rudolph," I ask. "Is it raining or snowing?"
"Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.
I turn to my wife. "See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
I think it might even keep on Dublin
So I guess you could say Im the dickhead
I guess you could said I'm the dickhead
