St Helens elephants: Doorstep mystery leaves police dumbo-founded bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arazilla96
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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A walk in St. Petersburg
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cja951
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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Just had a dealer try to sell me a piece of stone he said was from Ireland and kissed by St Patrick. When I looked underneath it said 'Made in China.'

Obviously a sham rock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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This is not oc content it MAY be a re p o st
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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So, 3 nuns die in a car crash and end up before the gates of St Peter....

St Peter says to the nuns "Given you are nuns and have devoted your life to good works you only need to answer a single question each to enter Heaven."

He looks to the first nun and asks "where did the first woman live?"

The first nun quickly replied "the garden of Eden".

St Peter nods approval and looks to the second nun "what was the name of the first woman?"

The second nun pauses for a second and then replies "Eve."

"Well done!" Says St Peter before turning to the third nun and saying "As the Mother Superior you should be able to answer this; what did Eve say to Adam when she first saw him?"

The Mother Superior furrows her brow and says "oh, that's a hard one".

"Correct!" Says St Peter. "You may enter."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atheistmil
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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I asked Carrie if she understands what the consequences would be if every "st" was replaced wit a "w"

Carrie underwood

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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St. Francis used to work at a donut shop.

He was a deep friar.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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I asked the driver if this ride would take me to 4th Street in St.Louis, Missouri.

Ooops, wrong bus!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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A chicken pie in Jamaica costs Β£2.00. A chicken pie in Trinidad costs Β£2.14. A chicken pie in St Kitts costs Β£2.09.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eruwotm8
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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"Have you ever done anything good?" St. Peter asked a guy when he showed up at the Pearly Gates. "To protect a young girl I punched the leader of a motorcycle gang, kicked his bike over, and told them all to back off!" said the man. St. Peter was impressed, "When did you do this?"

"Oh, just a couple of minutes ago."

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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Why are people is St. Louis so hospitable?

Missouri loves company!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dconman2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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Every time I visit my Dad in St. Louis, he walks into the room looking depressed until whatever girl I've brought home for the holidays asks what's wrong...

His reply: "Oh, I live in a state of Missouri."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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Not St John
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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My friend hurt his foot walking around a St.Louis landmark...

It was the Arch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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Mount St. Helens is a great mountain.

But it was at its peak in the 80s.

Stolen and butchered from https://xkcd.com/2308: Title text was β€œIt's a good mountain but it really peaked in the 80s.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StochasticTinkr
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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So I heard that due to Coronavirus, Ireland is cancelling St. Patty's celebrations...

They're trying to stop the infection from Dublin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leparr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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Last St. Patrick's Day I went out drinking, had a bit too much so I took a bus home.

That may be no big deal to you, but I'd never driven a bus before.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shantron5000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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The timing of the Corona virus is perfect for St. Patrick’s day

Because the cases keep Dublin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevonicus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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St. Elmo’s fire πŸ”₯
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hb_rider1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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Couldn't get out for St. Patrick's day......

So had quarantinis in the house instead!

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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Who’s Neck-st
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bowlsofhoney
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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Happy belated St. Patrick's day!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shroomley
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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Happy St. Patrick's Day!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AristonD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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A couple is walking in St Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve...

They feel some precipitation.

"I think it's raining" says the man.

"No, it's snowing" says the woman.

"Why don't we ask this communist officer?" Asks the man. "He's always right! Excuse me, officer Rudolf, is it raining or snowing?"

"Definitely raining" he says, before walking off.

The man turns to his wife with a smile. "See? Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robcap
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2016
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The city of St. Louis is offering huge tax breaks to major corporations so that big businesses can move in.

Because Missouri loves Company.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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Punny Hashtag for St. Patrick’s Day

Hey guys, I am tasked with designing a hashtag for out Paddy’s day. I work in an Irish pub and it’s a huge day for us. I was thinking #guinesspartystarted or #mindyouownguiness. Any awesome ideas? Thanks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chompton23
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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I bearly finished my fur-st meme
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mackmickpalmer1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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I changed my religion to follow the teachings of St. Francis, my dad was not pleased

He said 'no son of mine is going to be assisi!'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scamperillium
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Every year St Patrick's Day gets bigger

I think it might even keep on Dublin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lenzar86
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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I'd ask for assistance from St. Francis...

...but he's a sissy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m the principal of a school called St.Richard

So I guess you could say I’m the dickhead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iAm_Unsure
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
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Happy St. Patrick's Day! Why should you never iron a shirt with shamrocks on it?

You don't want to press your luck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrayingMantis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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St. Atue

The patron saint of standing still for long periods of time...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
[Wholesum] Euler Meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates

St. Peter: Your number's up Euler, and Isaac Newton says you have to count all the spheres in the universe before you can enter heaven. What say ye?

Euler: Sigma balls, Dick.


Sigma is used to notate summation.

Summation is the process of adding things together.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Target359
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
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In honor of St Patrick's Day being a warm day,

I plan on having a beer outside sitting on our Paddy O'Furniture.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lastartrek
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know that you can't order fountain drinks larger than 8 ounces in St. Paul?

It's mini soda law.

Bonus joke: where are the trees in Minnesota?

Between da twos and da fours.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evanthesquirrel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
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What do you call an alligator that works on Wall St.?

An Invest-i-gator.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dudge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2018
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PSA: Remember, Irish puns on St. Patrick's Day don't just shame you. They Seamus all.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cisforchristinaa
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2017
🚨︎ report
I want to get my daughters cubic zirconia rings for St. Patrick's Day.

That way, they'll have shamrocks.

If I pull this off, it will be quite the lepre-chaun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sauntering
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Every time I visit my dad in St. Louis, he will walk into a room looking depressed until whatever girl I've brought home for the holidays asks what's wrong.

His reply: "Oh, I live in a state of Missouri."

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2017
🚨︎ report
A chicken pie in Jamaica costs $2.00. A chicken pie in Trinidad costs $2.40. A chicken pie in St. Kitts costs $2.15.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘︎ 190
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theman_947
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Wife and I are walking in St. Petersburg and get into an argument whether the precipitation we feel is rain or snow. So we ask the communist officer Rudolph standing next to us.

"Office Rudolph," I ask. "Is it raining or snowing?"

"Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.

I turn to my wife. "See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

πŸ‘︎ 157
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πŸ‘€︎ u/panic_monster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Every year St Patrick’s day keeps on getting bigger

I think it might even keep on Dublin

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamstagram
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Im a principal of a school called St. Richards

So I guess you could say Im the dickhead

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Penguin-of_Doom
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm the principal of a school called st richards

I guess you could said I'm the dickhead

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RetroGamer10
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
🚨︎ report

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