Roped Puns

His vacation went off without a hitch.

Tie food

„He did knot see that coming“

Eeeh… skip it.

I shit U knot.

The problem is, I can’t tell whether she loves me or she loves me knot.

It was knotty.

The competition was declared a tie.

I would often skip lunch.

You: "are you a rope?" Me: "Frayed knot"

Ba-da-bum, chi.

The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." So the rope goes outside, ties himself up and parts one end. He then goes back into the bar and the bartender asks "Didn't I just throw you out?" The rope replies "I'm afraid not."

He got tolled off by the vicar.

Europe

Didn’t go down well.

a lot of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked me what should we do. I told her I’m no expert, but I certainly wouldn’t spank him.

It said, ‘fraid not

May bee sew, may bee knot

So the rope goes outside and thinks for a minute. He twists himself up and messes up his hair and goes back in.

“Hey ain’t you that rope I just kicked outta here?” “Nope. I’m a frayed knot”

and one of them was a-frayed.

The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”

The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”

Then it's a soap opera!

Bruised Wayne!

I'm hoping to become a Poet Lariat.

I was like, “Do you even know what that means?”

Don't pick your noose!

I'd choose the latter.

They did unspeakable things to him.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

The intertwine.

The bartender says to him, “We don’t serve rope here; you’ll have to leave.”

So the rope goes back outside and ducks around the corner. He ties himself up, dishevels the strands on his head, and walks back into the bar.

Despite his new look, the bartender instantly recognizes him. “What did I tell you? We don’t serve rope here!”

And the rope replies, “A rope?! I’m a frayed knot.”

He orders a beer but is told to get out. The string walks out, rearranges himself, and tousles the end of his rope. The string walks back in and asks for a beer, the bar tender asks, hey, aren't you that string i told to get out? The string says, frayed knot.

Yo Yo Mama jokes.

when he got there, he noticed the rope was missing...

he thought to himself, 'no noose is good noose'

I guess you could say I get a chain reaction.

My son told me it was tangled up. I told him “no it’s knot!”

The crew showed him the ropes.

Because they only tie

I said "You're going to be the one that saves meeeee......"

• "Can't talk, busy camping," replied Tom, intent.
• "The French don't deserve our thanks," said Tom mercilessly.
• "Haven't you heard me singing in church?" Tom inquired.
• "I'll win this tennis game if I get one more point, " Tom deduced.
• "I didn't eat my T-bone tonight," said Tom mistakenly.
• "So you're asking about my mink coat," Tom inferred.
• "I'm wearing a watch around my wrist," said Tom with abandon.
• "I'm the most important salmon vendor," said Tom selfishly.
• "I was correct the first three times, and I am correct now," said Tom forthrightly.
• "Castration is reversible," Tom remembered.
• "I brought the dessert," said Tom piously.
• "I command my own private army," said Tom maliciously.
• "I'll order the same meat as last time," Tom revealed.
• "I've never swum in Egypt's longest river," said Tom in denial.
• "Et tu?" asked Tom brutally.
• "That's women for you," said Tom dismissively.
• "I'll have a bowl of Chinese soup," said Tom wantonly.
• "I eat everything," said Tom in jest.
• "I gave you your freedom, and I can take it away," said Tom deliberately.
• "Maybe if I rub this lamp something good will happen," said Tom ingeniously.
• "I'm never taking an Uber again," Tom derided.
• "That dog is a mongrel," Tom muttered.
• "It's too bad Babe isn't on our team," said Tom ruthlessly.
• "Maybe I should stop using worms to catch fish... or maybe not," Tom debated.
• "Hemingway is my favorite author," said Tom earnestly.
• "This drumming is too easy," said Tom without missing a beat.
• "This is a frozen dessert,” I screamed.
• "Now I have TWO duck feathers", Tom doubled down.
• "She would never answer her phone the first time, you always had to hang up once," Tom recalled.
• "Two plus five is seven,” Tom added.
• "I only have Diamonds, Clubs and Spades," said Tom heartlessly.
• "It's okay, the PlayStation still works," Tom consoled.
• "Capital punishment is mostly used on the lower classes," said Tom with poor execution.
• "Where are all of my old board games?" asked Tom cluelessly.
• "I might be acquitted," said Tom without conviction.
• "I've never dyed my hair red, but I'll try it," said Tom gingerly.
• "Ugh! I need to shave again," Tom bristled.
• "Whale hunting makes me so sad," Tom blubbered.
• "I'll quit smoking marijuana right now!" said Tom bluntly.
• "I like hot dogs more than hamburgers," said Tom frankly.
• "I signed it twice," Tom remarked.
• "I received a letter to take my car in for repair," Tom recalled.
• "I hate pale ale," sai

You’d know if you understood tautology.

I hate long good buys.

Because it was knotty

Self-taut.

Skip it...