The guy at the hardware store tried to sell me a 500 ft spool of rope for $2, but I refused.

I hate long good buys.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the nice rope get for XMAS?

Everything it wished for, it wasn't knotty.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_hardeeharhar_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
If you’re teaching a new plumber the ropes of the trade you’re technically…

Potty training

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RICKDOGG424
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, β€œGet out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.

The bartender says, β€œHey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”

The rope replied, β€œNo. I’m a frayed knot.”

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know the name of braided old rope?

Frayed knot.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesmartass1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Man had the courage to come into my office and ask what the bucket, the rope, and the pipes were for...

Well, well, well.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Let the rope puns rule!
πŸ‘︎ 182
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CocozuBR
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I ducked under the rope
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notnickyc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
The metal hooks tied to my rope broke.

I'm having a hard time grappling with this.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evrant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
If i were an executioner, i’d rather be the guy swinging an axe than the guy tying a rope.

easier to get a head

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aexolthum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the rope say to the suicide enthusiast when he was working too slow ?

knot today my friend

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fakipo2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Son, can you tie this rope into loops while I go to the bathroom?

I shit, you knot.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RevanAndTheSithy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the torn rope refuse to go to the dark cabin

He was A-frayed

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PopeNeia062
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why Couldn't the Rope Answer the Phone?

Because it was all tied up!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Konkest_Dong
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A rope walks into a bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, β€œNo, you’re only a rope.” So he decides to disguise himself. He ties himself into a knot & ruffles his edges a bit. The next day, he walks into the bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, β€œOf course... Wait, aren’t you that rope?”

And the rope replies, β€œI’m a frayed knot.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/allyyx3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
why did the cannibal eat the tight rope walker first thing in the morning?

it's all part of a balanced breakfast.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasismyname_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I hung some pieces of rope on the wall for decoration

It really ties the room together

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/89iroc
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Ever heard the joke about the jump rope?

Skip it

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BurninGreen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
🚨︎ report
theres 2 ways to get onto the roof of your house a rope or a structure of steep steps.

i think the easier one is the ladder of the 2

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/epicgamer927
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the old, ripped rope say to the young strong rope when asked if it can still be used to tug a boat?

I’m a frayed knot.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingofthepassel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the child say to try and communicate with the tangled rope alien species?

I kid, you knot.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRadishSpirit94
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m gonna tie this rope in the shape of the letter Y.

Because Y knot.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Heisy123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
The outlaw was being led to the gallows, then when he got there, he noticed the rope was missing...

he thought to himself, 'no noose is good noose'

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CobraPony67
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
🚨︎ report
The European Union is held together by EU rope
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Richboy12345
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I invented a new rope trick where you can tie the rope around nothing.

It's knot a not.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I found the jump rope lesson to be a waste of my time

So I skipped out on it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meebwix
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Bring your kids to work day today. So I brought my buoys. Guess I'll show them the ropes of the trade imgur.com/u1UpGr3
πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/welfarejohn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2015
🚨︎ report
The suicidal traveller tried to hang himself from the Big Ben, the Eiffel Tower, The leaning tower of Pisa. The police caught him took away his rope and sent him out of the continent. All he was heard saying is..

I miss you rope.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/v_cleaner
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2015
🚨︎ report
The Queen gives out OBEs to everyone now so this evening I'll be busy, I'm going to tie a rope to her and drag her behind my car...

I'm pulling an all-knighter.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeardFM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2016
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the two girls playing jump rope?

Just skip it.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uconnhusky
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2015
🚨︎ report
Got my job trainer while learning the ropes.

Recently hired into a job where part of my duties will involve managing finances for individuals with intellectual disabilities. Trainer started going over all the ethical hoops we have to jump to.

"Man, they've got all sorts of checks and balances."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Falkynbird
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2015
🚨︎ report
Rope walks into the bar. Bartender says, Sorry we don’t serve ropes here. Rope walks out, messes himself up, ties himself in a knot, and walks back into the bar. Bartender asked if he’s a rope!

Rope replies I’m a frayed knot.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FalseBlood8746
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The hardware store guy offered to sell me a 50 ft spool of rope for $2, but I refused.

I hate long good buys.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The hardware store was selling a 50 ft. rope for $2, but I decided to pass.

I hate long good buys.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A rope a walks into a bar and the bartender points to a sign, says "Can't you read?! No Ropes allowed". The rope leaves the bar, ties himself into a bow and messes up his hair and walks back in. The bartender says, " ain't you that rope again"?! The rope replies, "Nope, I'm a frayed not"!
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goodboyBill
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2015
🚨︎ report
Why did the lion eat the tight rope walker?

He wanted a balanced meal.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/taylyn_conner
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the circus lion eat the tight rope walker?

He needed a balanced meal

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShaquielleOFeel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
🚨︎ report
The hardware store guy offered to sell me a 50 ft rope for $2. I refused.

I hate long good buys.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the lion eat the tight rope walker?

He wanted a balanced breakfast

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwesomeGuyGaming
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the bucket say to the rope in the dark?

Well, well, well....

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tychobrahe2020
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2016
🚨︎ report

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