The guy at the hardware store tried to sell me a 500 ft spool of rope for $2, but I refused.
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︎ Mar 21 2021
What did the nice rope get for XMAS?
Everything it wished for, it wasn't knotty.
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︎ Mar 13 2021
If youβre teaching a new plumber the ropes of the trade youβre technicallyβ¦
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︎ Mar 10 2021
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, βGet out. We donβt serve rope in here.β So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, βHey! Arenβt you the rope that I just threw out?β
The rope replied, βNo. Iβm a frayed knot.β
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︎ May 27 2020
Do you know the name of braided old rope?
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 01 2020
Man had the courage to come into my office and ask what the bucket, the rope, and the pipes were for...
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︎ Sep 06 2020
Let the rope puns rule!
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︎ Jan 15 2020
I ducked under the rope
π︎ 6k
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︎ Dec 24 2018
The metal hooks tied to my rope broke.
I'm having a hard time grappling with this.
π︎ 12
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︎ Apr 03 2020
If i were an executioner, iβd rather be the guy swinging an axe than the guy tying a rope.
π︎ 4
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︎ Feb 08 2020
What did the rope say to the suicide enthusiast when he was working too slow ?
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 18 2020
Son, can you tie this rope into loops while I go to the bathroom?
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 19 2020
Why did the torn rope refuse to go to the dark cabin
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︎ Feb 11 2020
Why Couldn't the Rope Answer the Phone?
Because it was all tied up!
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︎ Jan 24 2020
A rope walks into a bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, βNo, youβre only a rope.β So he decides to disguise himself. He ties himself into a knot & ruffles his edges a bit. The next day, he walks into the bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, βOf course... Wait, arenβt you that rope?β
And the rope replies, βIβm a frayed knot.β
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︎ Nov 12 2019
why did the cannibal eat the tight rope walker first thing in the morning?
it's all part of a balanced breakfast.
π︎ 12
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︎ Feb 07 2019
I hung some pieces of rope on the wall for decoration
It really ties the room together
π︎ 12
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︎ May 31 2019
Ever heard the joke about the jump rope?
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︎ Feb 24 2019
theres 2 ways to get onto the roof of your house a rope or a structure of steep steps.
i think the easier one is the ladder of the 2
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︎ May 11 2019
What did the old, ripped rope say to the young strong rope when asked if it can still be used to tug a boat?
π︎ 17
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︎ Dec 23 2018
What did the child say to try and communicate with the tangled rope alien species?
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︎ Jun 11 2019
Iβm gonna tie this rope in the shape of the letter Y.
π︎ 9
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︎ Dec 02 2018
The outlaw was being led to the gallows, then when he got there, he noticed the rope was missing...
he thought to himself, 'no noose is good noose'
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 22 2019
The European Union is held together by EU rope
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 02 2018
I invented a new rope trick where you can tie the rope around nothing.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 20 2018
I found the jump rope lesson to be a waste of my time
π︎ 3
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︎ May 31 2018
Bring your kids to work day today. So I brought my buoys. Guess I'll show them the ropes of the trade
imgur.com/u1UpGr3
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︎ Mar 27 2015
The suicidal traveller tried to hang himself from the Big Ben, the Eiffel Tower, The leaning tower of Pisa. The police caught him took away his rope and sent him out of the continent. All he was heard saying is..
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︎ Sep 10 2015
The Queen gives out OBEs to everyone now so this evening I'll be busy, I'm going to tie a rope to her and drag her behind my car...
I'm pulling an all-knighter.
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︎ Aug 14 2016
Did you hear the one about the two girls playing jump rope?
π︎ 24
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︎ Oct 23 2015
Got my job trainer while learning the ropes.
Recently hired into a job where part of my duties will involve managing finances for individuals with intellectual disabilities. Trainer started going over all the ethical hoops we have to jump to.
"Man, they've got all sorts of checks and balances."
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 23 2015
Rope walks into the bar. Bartender says, Sorry we donβt serve ropes here. Rope walks out, messes himself up, ties himself in a knot, and walks back into the bar. Bartender asked if heβs a rope!
Rope replies Iβm a frayed knot.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
The hardware store guy offered to sell me a 50 ft spool of rope for $2, but I refused.
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 17 2020
The hardware store was selling a 50 ft. rope for $2, but I decided to pass.
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︎ Sep 30 2019
A rope a walks into a bar and the bartender points to a sign, says "Can't you read?! No Ropes allowed". The rope leaves the bar, ties himself into a bow and messes up his hair and walks back in. The bartender says, " ain't you that rope again"?! The rope replies, "Nope, I'm a frayed not"!
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︎ Oct 23 2015
Why did the lion eat the tight rope walker?
He wanted a balanced meal.
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︎ Sep 24 2018
Why did the circus lion eat the tight rope walker?
He needed a balanced meal
π︎ 73
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︎ Sep 08 2018
The hardware store guy offered to sell me a 50 ft rope for $2. I refused.
π︎ 6
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︎ Mar 03 2019
Why did the lion eat the tight rope walker?
He wanted a balanced breakfast
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 28 2018
What did the bucket say to the rope in the dark?
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 29 2016
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