As I got off the chairlift, I came to the realization that skiing is not for me.
It all went downhill from there.
As a recent college grad, I had a realization.
I understand my field to a degree
I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting recently and have come to a realization
Last night, my wife looks at me with a sudden realization and says, "We have to DO IT tomorrow!!"
My first thought was, "why is that not the goal for every day?"
When I asked OK but why, her response was, "We can't let the last day of the year end without a bang!"
4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter.
So, they threw one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one cigarette lighter.
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
Turned on the US News and didn't realize...
That there was a new Gerard Butler movie: "Capitol Hill has Fallen"
Has anyone realize “The IRS”
My friend ordered a sculpture of his face, but later realized he couldn’t afford the bill.
He really got a head of himself.
You do realize that it's biblically correct for a man to make the coffee. Haven't you ever read the book,
First, I posted this on r/jokes but it didn't get much love. Then I realized I posted it on the wrong joke sub. Y'all love the punny jokes, so here you go:
Why are lamb chops a thing? Why do we have a food named after a baby animal?
Would you ever eat something called puppy steak? Or kitten burger? Or chick fillet?
oh wait.........
Credit goes to Matt from Studio C
I just realized...
I haven’t changed my underwear this year.
I realized that the 8mm fastener is my favorite because it's my M8!
I was really moved when I realized my mother let me win at cards.
It meant a great deal to me.
It kinda spoils the ending of Revenge of the Sith once you realize...
they're not called the Order of the Jelive
Working in Produce the last few years has made me realize I'm a professional musician...
I work with beet boxes and I wrap!
I don't think the author even realized what they did! Context: the article is about killer whales attacking boats.
I didn't realize my phone came with noface detection
I just realized nothing starts with "n" and ends with "g"
When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that I’m an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.
Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...
After watching Hubie Halloween I realized that every Adam Sandler movie takes place in the same universe.
Unfortunately, it's the one we live in.
I was shopping at the grocery store like it was 1999. That’s when I realized the party was over...
Oops, they were out of thyme.
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized...
A man walks into his home to realize that all his lamps were stolen
Ever since I started working from home, I've realized that one of my coworkers is a real bitch...
But that's okay, I love working with my dog.
Realized my boys will someday be dads after the cat tried to sneak outside tonight
Me, to my two boys: "Hazel tried to escape, but I rescued her!...Or....should I say captured her?"
Boy 1: (pronunciation) "cap- CHURR!"
Boy 2: "Or... You CAT-tured her!"
Boy 1: "No, you CAT cat-ture Hazel!"
I just realized my kitchen countertop is made out of marble.
I have been taking it for granite all these years.
I didn't realize the reopening of the Lego store was going to be so popular...
People are lining up for blocks!
A pirate walks into a bar and it was at that moment that he realized that his patch was on the wrong eye.
When did Yoda realize that he would be little?
His first word was “iota”.
... and so it was spoken, from then onward, into existence.
I just realized they can't ever make a movie about a male scandanavian Transformer who works as a stand-up comedian.
They'd be guilty of vehicle Lars mans laughter.
If a father in Iraq gifts his daughter a new bag, what will she say?
Realizing you have to poop
Body: I have to poop
Brain: you’re so full of shit
When i heared that they removed Trump from the white house after realizing he probably wasn't the right man for the job..
..all i could do was shake my head and mumble... "Unpresidented"
I looked in the mirror and realized how hot I've become
I have to stop wearing hoodies on summer.
If my bookcase realizes it wants to store dishes instead of books, it has reached shelf actualization.
I found out my girlfriend is really a ghost.
I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.
This son of a bitch got me. Can't be mad though; I set him up and did even realize it.
My wife went to get a pedicure with her mother. She sent me a text saying that they have an exfoliating, foot scrub that has CBD/Hemp oil in it and she was going to try it out...I replied “baby, do you realize that you left the house with slippers on...
But you are coming back with high heels”. Her mom sent me a text asking me what I said that made my wife throw her phone in to her lap and groan aloud. Mission accomplished haha
I was driving behind this guy and realized he is celebrating a whole year early!!
My cat scratches me to get my attention, I like to think he doesn't realize he's hurting me,
he just has issues with claws and effects.
Siri kept calling me Shirley this morning. I was starting to get really pissed off, and then I realized why...
I left my phone in Airplane mode
I started a petition to swap the position of "a" and "n" in the alphabet.
No one took me seriously when I said jk lmao
After a few recent posts, I now realize just how dangerous math really is.
I mean, just look at all those explosions after math!
My self-centered friend ordered a sculpture of his face, but later realized he couldn't afford the bill.
He really got a head of himself.
Working in Produce the last few years has made me realize I'm a professional musician...
I work with beet boxes and I wrap!
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