25 emails between me (film producer) and Jason (my props master) over the course of making my film RUN (on Hulu now!)
After my failed attempt at growing vegetables this year, I've decided to become a music producer.
I've got a ton of sick beets.
What is common between a boxer, a successful music producer and a good fisherman
Some filmmakers were secretly trying to murder the lead actor in a low-budget flick, but he got wind of the plot and managed to escape. They took the existing footage and shopped it to different producers, but it was roundly rejected by everyone for the same reason.
No one knows the best pen producer...
The producers of John Wick 3 should come out with a line of promotional sented bathroom candles.
The little horse just finished a song at the recording studio. The producer says, "What else you got?"
"That's it. I'm a one track pony".
What do you call a cheesy EDM producer?
David Feta
Credits : My date
What do you call a movie producer with not enough time on his hands?
You don’t. He’ll call you.
Was talking to a record producer at the urinals the other day...
Next thing you know I had a number one on my hands.
Talking to my music producer friend
My friend was listening to music, analyzing how the songs were made. I couldn't resist.
Friend: I'm trying to figure out how the vocals were recorded
Me: Probably with a microphone
What would you name a box? ...(the newest installment in my aggressively produced puns video series)
youtu.be/ieVbk7M-4ak
The Punner’s Prayer
Dear Lord as week seek to produce puns worthy of your praise, lettuce relish this opportunity. We ask that you would cause humor to sprout in the hearts of those who think us nuts. Continue to cultivate in us passion, fruit which beets back sadness and joy which leeks into others. Though some may say we are corny we know you will give us sage wisdom. Give us the confidence to know we are kale’in it as we bring choy to the world and live apply ever after.
Co-Worker and I were bored at work this morning, we wrote this. We work for a fruit store.
NASHI here Scott, we don't need your PERSIMMON to PRODUCE puns. I ain't LIME-ing, fruit puns are hard. It's a GRAPE skill to have and not at all CORNy. If BANANA (you wanna) challenge us; that can be ORANGEd, however you SHALLOT be prePEARed for us. I can GUAVAntee we will not deal with you GINGERly; if you push, APPLE; (I pull) It's not like i'm speaking LEBANESE, CUCUMBERstand?
I myself am full of puns from my head TOMATOES, as you can KIWI (See, we) have been doing this longer than you, we never skip a BEET, our abilities just climb higher PAPAYA (and higher)?.
We don't CARROT all if you're upset by this, in fact it's about THYME we asked your mother on a DATE. So don't be a DILL, we've BEAN there and done that before. So be ready to LETTUCE give you something to cry about throws onion
What happens when the U.S. Mint stops producing currency?
I don’t know, it makes no sense.
Did you hear about the cow that could produce 1,000 gallons of milk every day?
What kind of bees produce milk?
Working in Produce the last few years has made me realize I'm a professional musician...
I work with beet boxes and I wrap!
Why couldn't the Macaw and the Bull never produce any offspring?
It would've created a parrot-ox.
What did the produce manager tells his daughter who wanted to run away with her boyfriend?
Which type of bee produces milk?
Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis (edited, thanks kind friends for the correction!)
My young son and I were having our first discussion about drugs. He was curious about why people would do drugs in the first place, and I told him that many people do it because it produces different feelings of euphoria. He asked, "what's euphoria?" I told him that it was hard to explain...
But it's a feeling somewhere between euthreeia and eufiveia.
Which Arab country produces the most steel?
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
Why does my nose produce so much mucus
What did the produce employee say to the customer as they walked in?
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce milk
My daughter and I went to the grocery store yesterday, and we were amazed by the quality of the produce. We spoke with the Department Manager and offered to buy all of their Romaine
The platypus and echidna both lay eggs and produce milk
Making them the only animals on the planet capable of whipping their own custard
A gardener said, "I just finished producing some beets, who wants to check them out?"
The cabin replied, "I only play house music."
The windmill said, "not me, I'm a heavy metal fan."
The backhoe said, "I just dig rock."
The plastic baggie said, "I do, I'm a wrapper!"
My kids learned if you don't keep vermin out of your garden, you produce more rabbits than vegetables;
it's a problem called ingrown hares.
What do you call someone who makes fun of produce?
What do you call bees that can produce milk?
What insects produce milk?
Police were called to the local grocery store today
A man walked into the produce section and took a leek.
Disney isn't going to die and go out of business even though they completely shut down operations and didn't produce anything for three months.
They just suspended animation.
What's the most difficult thing about producing skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across a lake.
After my failed attempt at growing vegetables this year, I've decided to become a music producer.
I've got a ton of sick beets.
What kind of bees produce milk?
What kinda bees produce milk?
Working in Produce the last few years has made me realize I'm a professional musician...
I work with beet boxes and I wrap!
What kind of Bees produce milk?
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him. A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
What do you call a cow that cannot produce milk?
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Edit: Wow! Didn't expect this big reaction!
Thanks for the silver!
Edit 2: And gold!? Thanks again! :)
If a cow doesn’t produce milk, it’s both an udder failure, and a milk dud.
What kind of bees produce milk ?
What kind of Bees produce milk instead of honey?
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