What song do you sing when you hit someone with a really polished rock?
You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth mineral
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︎ Jan 22 2019
What do they require the wooden throne to be polished with?
π︎ 8
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︎ Oct 08 2018
little sister was 'skating' on the polished floor.
sis: dad look, ice skating!
dad: no no, dear, you say: I AM skating.
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︎ Aug 06 2013
I know a Polish sound technician.
π︎ 222
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︎ Sep 08 2020
My great uncle died from drinking furniture polish
It was a slow death, but a beautiful finish.
π︎ 67
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︎ Oct 01 2020
If you're 10% Polish...
Does that make you a tadpole?
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︎ Oct 20 2020
Why did the German mail man deliver an envelope to the Polish neighbour?
Because he was in Reichweite
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︎ Nov 08 2020
When people ask about my heritage, I tell them there is an unfortunate side effect of my mother being Italian and my father being Polish ....
Iβll make you an offer I canβt understand.
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︎ Oct 15 2020
What happens when you eat yeast and shoe polish?
You rise and shine every morning.
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︎ Sep 24 2020
My uncle just passed away from accidentally drinking wood varnish
It was a sad way to go, but a beautiful finish.
π︎ 69
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︎ Nov 09 2020
What happens if you eat yeast and show polish?
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︎ Feb 23 2020
My uncle was a ventriloquist dummy. He died drinking furniture polish.
It was a slow death but a beautiful finish.
Heard this one on Whose Line last night. Credit to Ryan Stiles.
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︎ Jun 24 2020
A polish man walks into a police station.
Polish man: help me! Help me! My wife is trying to kill me!
Police man: calm down sir, do you have any evidence that your wife is trying to kill you?
Polish man: Yes! I opened our medicine cabinet and found Polish Remover!
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︎ Feb 20 2020
I just delivered my home shoe polishing service to the most beautiful lady I have ever seen!
Right away, I took a shine to her!
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︎ Apr 28 2020
If you are 10% Polish...
does that make you a tad pole?
π︎ 16
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︎ Jan 27 2020
I have a Polish friend who's a sound technician.
And a Czech one two, Czech one two.
I know you all think this joke is a repost, but I thought adding this line might be Prague-ress.
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︎ Mar 12 2020
What do you call a cow with two legs?
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 22 2020
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine
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︎ Nov 20 2019
Polish Polish
π︎ 58
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︎ Jun 28 2019
During the Polish-Swedish war, Sweden conquered the city of Bydgoszcz and renamed it as Bromberg.
Bromberg later became part of the Kingdom of Prussia, changed hands a few more times (including a short period of Napoleonic rule), before it finally became Polish again after World War I. The Polish government reinstated the old name of the city, deciding to let Bydgoszcz be Bydgoszcz.
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︎ Sep 26 2019
What do you call a short Polish person?
π︎ 22
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︎ Mar 19 2019
Asian girls donβt poop...
π︎ 7k
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︎ Feb 15 2020
What do the sun and nail polish remover have in common?
They can both make your acetone darker...
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 15 2019
Whenever a Polish person dances...
wouldn't it technically be Pole dancing?
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 13 2019
Why do the Polish bury Germans 12 feet under ground?
Because really deep down they're good people.
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︎ Oct 04 2019
Don't mind Cyberpunk 2077's delay
It just needs a little Polish
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 27 2020
Best Polish Removers
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︎ Dec 31 2018
How come when women use chemicals to remove polish no one bats an eye
But when hitler does it the whole world is against him?
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︎ Apr 27 2019
What do you call a Polish fisherman?
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 05 2019
What do you call a pale Polish man?
π︎ 31
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︎ Apr 21 2019
What the Poland man did, after adding German mugs to his collection?
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 26 2020
If you wrote down the names of all the works by a 19th century Polish composer...
...you'd have a Chopin List.
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︎ Jul 09 2019
I spilled polish remover on a globe
Now thereβs a hole in Europe.
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︎ Apr 09 2019
I was in a Strip club in Poland
The locals are the best. They didnβt have any. They need to Polish up their Pole dancers.
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︎ Jul 20 2020
What nationality is Santa Claus?
π︎ 1k
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︎ Dec 22 2019
What do you use to make a Polish person leave?
π︎ 3
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︎ Feb 12 2019
My uncle died due to drinking furniture polish...
...it was a slow death, but a beautiful finish
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 15 2020
I have a Polish friend who is a sound engineer
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︎ Feb 14 2020
I have a Polish friend who is a sound engineer.
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 01 2020
I have a Polish friend who is roadie for a rock band. And I have a Czech one too. Czech one too.
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︎ Sep 12 2019
I have a polish friend who is a sound engineer. and a Czech one too, Czech one too, Czech one too
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︎ Mar 07 2019
I have a Polish friend who has a job as a sound engineer...
I have a Czech one too...
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︎ Mar 02 2017
I have a Polish friend who is roadie for a rock band. And I have a Czech one too. Czech one too.
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 12 2019
I have a Polish friend whoβs a sound technician
Oh, and a Czech one too. Czech one too. Czech one too.
π︎ 133
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︎ Sep 08 2018
I have a Polish friend who has a job as a sound engineer.
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︎ Jun 17 2018
Did you hear about the polish guy who thought is wife was trying to kill because he found βpolish removerβ in the house ...
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︎ Apr 14 2019
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