I'd like to plug my wife's attempt to cross the Atlantic in a bath tub.

But it's too late....she sank.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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What do you get if you plug your foot into the mains

An electric sock!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/geoswede
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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What did I say when my son tried to unplug my life support to plug in the vacuum cleaner?

Don't do that I'll dyson!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dinsy_Crow
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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Why was the new butt plug concerned about the used butt plug?

Because it had seen some shit.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_ME_UR_HANDBRA
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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I just touched an electric plug

Now my finger Hertz.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jokadfg
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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Got my wife a butt plug shaped as the Russian president

She wanted something to Putin her butt

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AKarakotly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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What did the electrician say when he found out the plug was broken?

I must conduct an investigation

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Panagiotis1357
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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Can’t wait to get home and plug in my phone.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bilesto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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My wife asked me to fix the plug on her bedside lamp.

I simply refused.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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My friend asked me to plug his phone to the wall since it only had 20% of battery left.

So I asked him how can he lose 80% of the battery and still work with it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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What happens to an air conditioner when you pull the plug on it?

It loses its cool.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
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Why doesn't a coffee maker need that third prong on its electrical plug?

The beans are ground.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to plug a USB into a tree

But it was all bark and no byte

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wombat_Terrorists
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Bought some ear plugs on a long drive with kids

It was a sound investment

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cenofwar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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My dad bought a plug-in electric car and a gas-guzzling muscle car on the same day...

He told me he thought that with a battery-powered car it would be a good idea to have a Charger as well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/et11robot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2016
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My friends and I were talking about power plugs the other day.

It was electrifying conversation.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Waryur
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2017
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Bought drain plugs

They were to small, so i respond with well there goes $0.99 down the drain

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tank_yhou
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2017
🚨︎ report
So my wife's phone battery dies out quickly she plugs it in all the time

"No wonder honey, you always want to be in charge "

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rundamnit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2016
🚨︎ report
I was asked where in the building is the best place to plug in a hoover...

Of course I said a wall socket.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmabbz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2016
🚨︎ report
Got my coworker as she was looking to plug in her internet

Coworker comes in holding an ethernet cord and asks if we have a jack in this office.

"Nope. It's just me, Andrew, and Jet."

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2014
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