After a cow had escaped her pen, she was found contentedly chewing its cud at a grow op

The steaks were high

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2018
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Everyone should know that cows have four stomach compartments.

It's ruminantary knowledge!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/twowheeledfun
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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Did you hear that they genetically engineered a milk cow to have no teats?

It was udderly pointless.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/HwackAMole
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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Why weren't the cows in the field?

They Moooooved.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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Why did the cowβ€˜s stomach ached?

Because there was no more rumen it

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/FernandoLH95
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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Did you hear about the cow farm destroyed in the tornado?

The scene was udder annihilation.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nevets52
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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What did the mummy cow say to the baby cow?

It’s pasture bedtime.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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What do you call six baby cows?

Calf a dozen

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slater22
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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What kind of milk do you get from footless cows?


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πŸ‘€︎ u/1derin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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Why are vampires afraid of cows?

They're made of steaks

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ‘€︎ u/BabuunBabooshka
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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How can you tell when you have a deformed cow?

When everything you say goes in one ear and out the udder.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElsaFrozen2013
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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Cows can't keep secrets.

You tell one, pretty soon they all herd.

It's a bunch of bull, really.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
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What did the cow say to his loud chewing friend?


πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlindsideArsenide
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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Why do cows like to eat grass?

Cud it’s their favorite food.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/falknorRockman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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Deja Moo

Oh MOOgosh. This might just sound like a load of Bull, but please STEER me out.

Deja Moo (Sung to the tune of Fresh Prince of Bel-air)

Now these are puns all about COWS

Their milk gets flipped, churned all around.

And I’d like to take a minute but I won’t stop and prattle

And tell you this story you haven’t HERD about cattle.

In IstanBULL I was born and BRAISED.

In the pastures back then in my HAYDAYS.

Chewing cud, RUMPING round, and making a fuss.

TANNING out so UDDERLY ridiculous.

When a couple of HEIFERS who had BEEF with me

Started BULLying on my Brand , you see.

I got TIPPED over once and my mom got scared

She said you're MOOvin your behind, your butt, your DAIRY Air.

I whistled for a calf and when it came near

Thought she was a babe, but HE was a STEER!

If anything I can say this STEAK is rare

But that Bovine was BO-FINE so I didn’t care!

I got milked a few times, maybe 7 or 8

More like long-gonehorn, than reliable date.

So I CHUCKED out the udder half of the pasture,

Bevo ain’t a cow, don’t got what I’m after.

Fun fact: a Dairy Cow can produce 125lbs of saliva a day.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ‘€︎ u/KrazyCasey412
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2016
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Sleep-Deprivation Fueled Pun War

My friend (L) and I (B) ended up in a pun war. She had to wake up super early to catch a flight, and this was at about one in the morning:

L: I should definitely set my alarm to 'cow' o.O

B: Haha, do it. Nothing like waking up to cows in the 'moo'rning.

L: Oh my gosh. Absolutely not.

B: Hey, but it would be so 'udder'ly hilarious!

L: I just got stabbed to death by a pun.

B: I'm just trying to 'milk' it for all it's worth...

L: If I did that, I'm not sure I'd wake up in a happy 'moo'od.

B: Just drink some 'calf'inated coffee, and you'll be fine.

L: I'd be laughing 'stock' of the town... Cows don't have a sense of humor.

B: Bull!

L: I'll just use my cowculator do determine how much sleep I'm actually going to get tonight...

B: You could wake up a little later, but you'd have to 'hoof' it to the airport.

L: Hope the weather is good, so my plane isn't 'ground'ed 'beef'.

B: That's stretching it... You should make more of an 'heifer't to come up with good puns.

L: I know when I'm getting creamed.

B: It's hard to 'steer' you in the right direction, because you keep changing topics.

L: That's udderly ridiculous. I'm just trying to mooove on.

B: And I just keep churning 'em out...

L: No, you're just spinning your 'veal's.

B: That's one of the best ones I've herd all night!

L: I thought I might've butchered it...

B: PETA might have a beef with you because of it, though...

L: Well done, well done...

B: I don't think they care leather or not you personally slaughtered it, too.

L: See now, I wish you'd stop 'grilling' me about the bad puns... You should 'patty' yourself on the back. I 'dairy' you to come up with more.

B: Well, you can certainly steak a claim for being able to hold your own...

L: I'm a natural 'barn' comedian. However, I really should quit 'yak'king and go to bed. :p

B: Okay, that's not cows... You lose. You 'cud' have done a lot better.

L: The grass is greener on the other side, okay? Also, cows live in barns, and yaks are related to cows.

B: It was still quite a stretch... Don't have a cow about it.

L: Ha anymoo. Goodnight! Also, don't die of mad cow disease.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/guerrilla154
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2015
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