When does a adult know it’s time to stop parting and drinking?

When it becomes a parent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coolme07
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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I got fired from the shoe factory, but they were nice enough to leave me with a parting gift.

They gave me the boot.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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Parting is such sweet sorrow.

What did the bald man exclaim when he had recieved a comb for a present?

Thanks, I'll never part with it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/capngloval
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
After my divorce, I gave my wife a necklace with my face on it as a parting gift.

I am now Independent.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alfie_13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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Moses parting the red sΓ­ (O.Sea.) imgur.com/NwgadRT
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bgc1234321
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2014
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transportation related body part puns idea list

Examples

Shoebaru , Subaru Mitsufeetshi , Mitsubishi Legsus, lexus Merceknees bends, Mercedes Benz.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xXduyasseneXx
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2016
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The most important part of a mail pun, is the delivery.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potato_patataa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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Never ever spell part backwards,

It's a trap.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cptn-Cardinal
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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Some people were arguing about the most important part of a kitchen.

"The sink is the most important! It's where you get water for cooking, wash your hands, clean fruits and vegetables, and clean the dishes up afterwards."

But another person said,

"The countertop is even more important. It's where the food is prepared. And if the counter weren't there, you wouldn't have a sink at all!"

The first person was shocked. They weren't expecting a counterargument.

πŸ‘︎ 187
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TabCompletion
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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What part of your body, dies last?

Your pupils, as they dielate

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dirty-Slippers
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What is a pregnant women's favourite part of a hike?

The water break...

Said this during a hike so it was all the more sweeter to hear the only two dad's chuckle.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pomacanthus_asfur
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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I failed my biology test. I mislabeled every body part but one.

At least my heart was in the right place.

πŸ‘︎ 169
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LudwigVonPhoenix
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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What's the hardest part of becoming a Buddhist monk?

Just being offered the chants

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW2
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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Did you also know Michael Jackson was part Native American?

He was a quarter Cherok-HEE-HEE!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhoenixAurum
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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Bit coin or something idk
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/naughtyballsack
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Bill Gates: Hey Melinda, can I keep the MS Office as part of the divorce settlement?

Melinda Gates: Bill, ...you have my Word.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...

Riceless

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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I’m trying to grow auto parts on my farm.

I’m expecting a bumper crop.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Newbosterone
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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What is the hardest part of making skimmed milk?

Throwing the cows across the lake πŸ₯

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RodimusMajor84
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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What is the most annoying part of a party with a large bowl of shared drink mix?

The punchline

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snowjoggs
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
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A recent study of rocking chairs indicated that certain parts of the world do far less rocking than the United States while specific countries do...

Mo-roccan.

This joke provided by dads giving babies a bottle in a rocking chair early in the morning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sneakymooseattack
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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What is an astronaut's favorite part on a computer?

The space bar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...

It was overcast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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The CEO of IKEA has been elected Prime Minister of Sweden.

He's currently assembling his cabinet.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Telusion
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
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So apparently when you die, the last part of your body that stops working is your pupils..

It’s because they di-late

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πŸ‘€︎ u/red_beard2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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What’s the worst part about going out to eat duck?

The Bill.

πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dirty-Slippers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
We got a new dog yesterday. He was a rescue and we're so glad to make him a part of our family. 'I think the transition is going well.'

'But your mother thinks it's been ruff.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gherkinstein
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Sometimes, I just can’t remember a specific part of a song.

Maybe it just isn’t note-worthy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sudoku12
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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What’s the worst part of having an apple addiction?

You can’t see the doctor about it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrunkleChris
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the weakest part of Tiger Woods game?

Driving

πŸ‘︎ 228
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Light-Insight
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Met a Chinese talking goose today, I asked him from what part of China he was from.

Honk Kong

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Not a joke for written context, but one you can use on your family.

You just say to your family member - "Did you hear someone in the family is part owl?"

They'll reply with "who?" And you look at them with a raised eyebrow.

Tell this joke over dinner if youd like to be the life of the party. You're welcome.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MCKANNON
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
It FINALLY happened.

Almost 40 and growing my beard out for the first time. Wife finally says "You know I'm starting to like it." And I could finally say "Yeah. It's growing on me."

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1284X
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What part of an airplane smells the most?

The nose.

*Credit to my 6 year-old for coming up with this one!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/citrusguy9
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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What body part do you spell using the letters P, E, N, I, and S?

Spine.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HisokaLaMagician
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Just found out im still a part of the catholic church even though ive been an atheist for years...

...guess you could call me a serial sinner

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laferrarik
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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What kind of music do planets listen to?

Neptunes!

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uup17
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2021
🚨︎ report
My grandfather just walked into the room with a guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast.

I said, β€œWho is this guy?”

My grandfather: That’s my hip replacement.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
The radio host sailed to the same part of the ocean each year

It was his frequent sea

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOffbeatTurtle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are gas powered cars part of the LGBT community?

They have a transmission.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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Which vehicle is part of the LGBTQ community?

The bi-cycle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Derpvboii
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the worst part about losing your index finger?

There is no point to your hand anymore

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCager100
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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My daughter told me nothing rhymes with orange. I told her she’s wrong.

Nothing and orange have completely different ending sounds.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marfalump
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What is Goofy's favorite part of the egg?

"A yolk"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bmusser_01
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the worst thing about having a job at the unemployment office?

If you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
They were so young...
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shallelujah
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
When you die, what part of the body dies last?

The pupils....they dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Which part of your body is the last thing to die?

Your eyes. They dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mark503
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Never spell 'Part' backwards

It's a trap

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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Why are pupils the last part of your body to die?

Because they dilate.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
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don’t spell part backwards

it’s a trap

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chickenman2359
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report

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