Linkedin Park
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imperfectshane
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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Where do you park a camel?

At the Camelot

(My Egyptian father’s fav joke)

πŸ‘︎ 237
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ejkhabibi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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An abusement park
πŸ‘︎ 153
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πŸ‘€︎ u/qduriani
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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I stood in the park wondering why a frisbee gets larger when it gets closer

Then it hit me.

πŸ‘︎ 111
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πŸ‘€︎ u/willem640
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?

Nothing, it's on the house.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/svncactus117
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad

πŸ‘︎ 119
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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There's a woman in the park selling batteries...

She sells, C cells by the seesaw.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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This guy at the park, starting his own swing band. v.redd.it/z05skxjl60j61
πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anxious_Spell487
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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I went to the park the other day and saw a guy flying one of those tiny RC quadcopters.

I asked him about it and that was a mistake. He just kept droning on and on!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/turkyman3
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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I can't take my dog to the park anymore. The ducks keep biting him.

I should have known this would happen. He's pure bread.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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I can’t take my dog to the park as all the ducks keep trying to bite him...

My fault for getting one that’s pure bread.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucifer_0915
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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I’ve just booked a long weekend at a new Arable Farming theme park

It’s a-maize-thing

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Justlikeyourmoma
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."

The man can't believe it.

"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."

Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."

They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds,

"It's a date!"

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Park it over it here

My mom likes pulling straight into park spots. My dad prefers to back in. I don't care. I'm Neutral

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πŸ‘€︎ u/myska707
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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My wife left me because I made too many Linkin Park references

But in the end, it doesn't even matter

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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What do you do if you find yourself in Jurassic Park?

You get Jurass out .

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/asiers
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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What happens when a frog parks illegally

His car gets toad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/declandrury
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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My dog kept getting bit by a duck at the park today...

It's probably my fault because he's pure bred (pure bread).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FakeBenson
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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Crime in multi storey car parks.

Wrong on so many levels.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beej2000
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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I got kicked out of my poetry club because I made too many Linkin Park references

But who could rock a rhyme like this?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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I just got thrown out of my local park for arranging the squirrels by height.

They didn’t like my critter sizing.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mycorona69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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What happened when Santa didn't pay to park his sleigh?

It got mistletowed.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danyodaddyo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Need Theme Park related puns

Myself and a friend are making a mini action film on GTA V. When I edit it, I’m planning on involving some voiceover but I need a pun for the final kill on the rollercoaster. Any suggestions ?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StickyWeeee9068
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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What do you call an amusement park ride that's completely made out of iron?

A Ferrous Wheel! :D

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fafnir_19
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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what did the depressed water park attendant think of at the top of a high rise building?

I wanna commit suislide

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GLIZZYGOD999
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Last evening I walked up the hill in the park to see the planets. Stumbled over a lip in the concrete and went down pretty hard. Ripped pants and skinned hands and knees. When I got to the top I couldn't see a thing.

The view was not worth the trip.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Think_Naught
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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I was supposed to park on the east side of the lot...

...but I occidentally parked on the west

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BiochemBeer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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Saw a kidnapping at the local park this morning

He must’ve been knackered, even his mum couldn’t wake him up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xander725
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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What does a Linkin Park fan and a Buddhist monk have in common?

They both know that in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boredkid03
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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I was at the park the other day

And I heard a bunch of yelling and grunting near the tennis court. I went over there and asked

"What's with all the racket?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leaderrzz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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I got kicked out of the park for lining squirrels up by height...

They said I was too critter-sizing

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmellyRapscallion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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I tried to skip the line in the water park

But i got caught and they wouldnt let it slide

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Koolboy_678
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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A husband and wife are walking in the park together.

Suddenly, the wife pointed out that it was snowing. The husband shook his head and exclaimed that it was just raining. After disagreeing for quite some time, they decided to ask their communist friend, Rudolph. He also exclaimed that it was raining. The husband then said to his wife,

β€œSee, Rudolph the red knows rain, dear.”

πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RosselWestbrook
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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A family is in an amusement park and comes across an animatronic display of Al Gore playing the drums.

The mother says, "Hey everyone, look at that. Isn't that amazing?" The father, unimpressed, replies, "It's just an algorithm".

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mgrasso75
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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Two crows land on a park bench.

They were arrested for conspiring to murder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/codenewt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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You visit Christopher Walken's theme park for Christmas

It's Winter in a Walken Wonderland.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/malkes
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?

Nothing. It’s on the house!

πŸ‘︎ 296
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatal_fame
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?

Nothing, it’s on the house

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How much does it cost for Santa to park his sleigh

Nothing! It’s on the house!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?

Nothing, it’s on the house!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatherfinger420
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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What happens to frogs that park illegally?

They get toad.

Edit: this content is unoriginal

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFitBit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?

Nothing, it’s on the house.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Standing in the park, I was wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets.

Then it hit me.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?

Nothing. It’s on the house.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spartansshadow
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?

nothing, its on the house

πŸ‘︎ 348
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πŸ‘€︎ u/growupyall
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets

and then it hit me

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aresbeast
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?

Nothing.

It’s on the house.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quibblicous
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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I got thrown out of my local park after arranging the squirrels by height.....

They didn’t like me critter sizing.

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/18021982
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report

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