I found a $20 bill in the parking lot of the grocery store. I asked myself, what would Jesus do?

So I turned it into wine.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fukface_Von_Clwnstik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 19 2020
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A driveway isn't a parking lot...

...it's a parking little

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2020
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I was backing out of the parking lot earlier when I backed into a car! The driver was only 3 feet tall....!

He got out of the car and started waving his hands above his head! He kept yelling "I'm not Happy, I'm not Happy!"

So, I got out and yelled back, "Well, which one are you!?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Existence111111
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2020
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I was walking in a parking lot and tripped. I hit my head on a car.

I fell into a Tacoma

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Howard_Jones
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 01 2020
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Barking a lot on a parking lot
πŸ‘οΈŽ 669
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vanquar8
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07 2017
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I took my kids to a pumpkin farm today and they had an electric fence around their parking lot.

As I placed my hand on the fence I told my kids "I'd be shocked if this is on!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rumin8tion
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2019
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I have a shared parking lot with my neighbor. I don’t like him much but I’ve decided to try and be friends. After all...

We have a lot in common

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/beybladepenis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2019
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You can't trust the trees on the west side of the parking lot.

They get shady...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/theriskjunky
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2019
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Went to an Ed Sheeran concert at Arrowhead in KC. We parked in the red parking lot.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sheik718
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 23 2018
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I wanted to say hi to the guy I saw while parking my car, but it looked like he was going through a lot.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TOBIMIZER
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2019
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We were driving by a parking lot full of cars. Dad points and says...

That's a lot!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SillyDaddy89
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 19 2019
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I went to visit my pregnant friend in the hospital and found a parking spot in the C section of the parking lot.

I had to climb out of the sunroof.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22 2019
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I dropped a box of donuts in the parking lots and all the crows are eying them greedily...

It's a tempted murder.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 29 2019
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Why does every tech company have a basketball hoop in the parking lot?

So people won’t have troubleshooting.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DericAA
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 07 2019
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Just found a victim of hit and run in a parking lot. Crime is unbearable.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fasterthan3E8mps
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 27 2018
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While pulling into a parking lot my wife noticed a car with a reverse light out.

Our friend in the back seat was a dad for a short while. All I heard her say was "I guess only half of the car is backing up."

I'm so proud of her.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rudelyinterrupts
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 21 2018
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The other day, I saw a guy pooping on a car in a parking lot.

If you ask me, that's really fowl behavior.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/massivevivid
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 04 2019
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I parked in the C section of the hospital parking lot.

The only way I could get out of my car was through the sunroof.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2018
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So I was Dad joked in the parking lot

So I just met a master jokester. The setting:

I came out of work across the parking lot and a car comes at me. So I cross and I hear him go, 'youre walking too fast for this place' it's a 55+ community. So I walk over to talk to him and he goes 'what are you doin here your awfully young to be here'

me: yeaah, I'm 10 years to young. I'm the new chef for your clubhouse'

Him: 'youll be cooking for old men'

Me: 'its a challenge'

Him: 'well I don't want to keep you

Me: 'im just picking my dad up from physical therapy'

Him deadpan, 'well you might not want to do that'

Me: why?!

Him dead serious: well, because he's got to be heavy

Me: ... I can't believe I just got grandpop joked

Him: you better believe it

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ZenPancakes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 27 2017
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The parking lot at the shopping center was broken.

I guess there were malfunctioning mall functions.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pietdagamer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2019
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Last night I was late to a dinner with friends because I couldn't find any parking. Eventually, I just parked the car in a place with a lot of foot traffic.

It got toed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SandJA1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12 2019
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What do a call a parking lot that has been flooded?

Car pool!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MufasaReborn91
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2017
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Me and the old man were walking down a parking lot.

On the way to the store he points and laughs.

"Ha! That's illegal"

I look where he points and it is a Pontiac Torrent...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 75
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yann_the_mann
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 10 2016
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So on my way to work today, i noticed alot of people using the church parking lot to make U-Turns

I guess the church is a good place to turn yourself around.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rogshamosh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 03 2018
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Because it's a parking lot.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 173
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kibblets
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12 2014
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I saw a camouflage truck in a parking lot today...

Me: I wish you'd made a comment on that camo truck, so I could say "What truck?"

Mom: Sorry, I didn't even see it!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bren926
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 25 2016
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What's the deal with parallel parking? It should be called co-linear parking, parking in a parking lot is parallel parking!

My dad was a math teacher and thinks he's Seinfeld.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/USAFacts
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 05 2014
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Did you hear about the peanut in the parking lot?

It was a salted.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MinisterofSandwiches
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2016
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My co worker gave me a heads up as I was leaving about a deer outside the parking lot

I responded with "thanks for bucking up, but I don't think I will have to worry about it doe."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kitten_Factory
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2016
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Waiting for my brother in the parking lot...

my dad and I watched a girl in a banana costume run by the car and out off the lot. My dad quickly says, "I guess she had to peel."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheGoldenNewtRobber
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2013
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Dad pulled this one on me in the mall parking lot

"Hey amnesiajune, where did we park?"

"Uhh... 2A or 2B"

"2B or not 2B... Thats the question!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/amnesiajune
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 26 2014
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My dad stops abruptly in front of his car in the parking lot and looks at the hood...

"SHIT!" ....patiently waits for someone in my family to see the bird poop he is staring at while my mom is freaking out about a possible dent.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/seewhatyadidthere
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 17 2013
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In the parking lot.

My local zoo has a Christmas Lights night for members. My wife and I just took our daughter, and while we were leaving, a couple pulled up next to us. The woman got out of the car, and I said, "be careful, it's a zoo in there."

Neither of the people in the couple appreciated it. I snickered the whole way home.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nappy-doo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2013
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At the mall parking lot when a bus load of middle school band kids unloads

"Wow, where do you think all those kids come from?"
"Their homes."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrBadTacos
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2013
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I went to visit a friend at the hospital and found a spot in the β€œC” section of the parking lot.

I had to climb out of the sunroof.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2019
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I parked in the C section of the parking lot.

I had to climb out of the sunroof.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 62
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 17 2018
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