Glass bottle recycling truck in my home town
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/misrdanskellinika
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
The graveyard near my town is really crowded...

People are just dying to get in

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NidalFlame
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
The car dealership in my town just doubled its size.

Now it can offer a whole lot more.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
1986, The Chernobyl reactor exploded, releasing a bright, radioactive beam into the sky. People in towns away stared at it in awe.

They must've thought that it was pretty rad

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackKnightiscool
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
What do you call a weird guy in town who walks around talking to himself using only figurative language?

The village idiom

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bastelnd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
A thief in a small town stole all the toilets...

Police issued a statement saying they had 'nothing to go on'

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Altar-83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
The new funeral home in town will not let me view my loved ones before their burial, sadly.

Unbereavable...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
Our local priest rides around our town on a motorbike all day.

We just call him Rev.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My son is going to college in a town in Iowa...

He Ames to get a good education.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the locksmith convention coming to town?

I hear they've got the keynote speaker locked up.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The ad said the Hulk is coming to town.

I read it on the Bruce Banner.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I found myself bereft at the chaos that run through the winding streets of China town. The horror

The wonton destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommyW-Unofficial
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PapaBear1718
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s an abandoned French bakery in my town

It gives me the crepes

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fill-Chapo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What town do peppers come from?

Scoville.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KonoAnonDa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
All the Indian bakeries in my town shut down because of Covid.

They fired all Naan essential staff.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My town throws a festival for the salmon spawn each year. This is what they call companies that contribute a significant amount of money.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBrontosaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after breaking his left arm in a bar fight.

He still has the right to remain silent.

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend asked me to feed her anaconda hotdogs while she is out of town. I did, but it wouldn’t touch them. Confused, I called her and asked why

She said: β€œMy anaconda don’t want none unless it has buns, hun”

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwwwwwwYeahhhhhhh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I was driving with my dad through a town we hadn't been through.

At a point he turned to me and said "we're near the dead center of this town."

"What makes you think that?"

He points past me and I turn to see a sign for the city cemetery.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/strykr316
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend knows just who he can trust in the seedy part of town to get him safe candy and sweets...

He has treat smarts.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
This old dystopian town has no police or humour.

It’s lol-less

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brennanabread17
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A baker in my town accidentally fell inside a truck full of French bread.

He is in a lot of pain.

πŸ‘︎ 128
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought myself a Mini Cooper and painted the letter "S" all over it. When I drive around town...

everyone says look at that little "S" car go!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Which town got built the fastest?

Velo-City

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clark_creationz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I own a fake town which is actually a horror theme park and I only let a few people in at a time to keep demand and prices high.

It's called artificial scare-city

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TomBaiRaise
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s a running joke around this town...

Hopefully someone catches it.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A mime in my town was arrested after he got into a bar fight and broke his left arm.

He still has the right to remain silent.

πŸ‘︎ 142
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I was in town earlier on looking for some fly killer. I picked up a can and asked the young store assistant "Excuse me, is this any good for wasps?"

"No" he said, "It kills them"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?

He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I let my out of town girlfriend know her vegetable service delivered a package today and I had some bad news.

She asked what had happened to it,

I told her the box had a leek in it.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CptnBo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries.

She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
WHY DOES IT STINK IN PENNYWISE'S HOME TOWN?

Because of the Derry Air...

My 15 year old just came up with this one....be kind.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vahn1982
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently a town in South Wales is having greater lockdown restrictions imposed on it....

.....and it wouldn't have happened if people there had done things more Caerphilly.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KCL80
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
While driving down in a part of town we don't usually visit, my 12yo son noticed and mentioned a barber shop named Roman Palace.

I told him they only do Caesar cuts.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mwdavisii
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
There is a guy stealing Iphones around town

He is probably going to face time

πŸ‘︎ 365
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a nutcase going around our town stabbing people with knitting needles.

Twelve individuals have been attacked in the last 48 hours.

The Police have announced that the attacker could be following some kind of pattern

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Mike Tyson and I were talking about our friend Sarah who had just gotten into town. I asked, "so, how did she get from L.A. to here?" He replied...

"Theraflu."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I work with a small town search and rescue. We recently had a guy visiting from the big city to do some kayaking on the river.

He doesn't know the area and gets himself lost. All he does know is that there are a lot of grizzly bears roaming around during the salmon spawn this time of year, so he's quite afraid to get out of his kayak.

The temperature starts to drop. He needs to stay warm, and decides to build a fire inside his little boat on the river.

He learnt a valuable lesson that night: you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Islander399
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently someone in my town has been stealing the wheels off police cars

They’ve been working tirelessly to find him

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsaustinjones
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The guy running my town is awful. He doesn’t respond to phone calls because he only works after dark.

He’s a total night mayor.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after breaking his left arm in a bar fight.

He still has the right to remain silent.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gabagaba62
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight.

He still has the right to remain silent.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
In my town they arrested a mime that got into a bar fight and broke his left arm...

He still has the right to remain silent...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JosephBarnacle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight.

He still has the right to remain silent.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report

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