I went to the hardware store with a friend and the store had pallets of soil, seed, and fertilizer out front. We both stopped and looked at one of the pallets stacked high with bags of dried steer manure. The sign said, "Strict limit 2 per customer."

My friend looked at me and said, "I guess there's only so much shit you can take."

True story.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ObiWanKaDaddy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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Where will you find a conscious pallet truck?

In awarehouse

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
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Walked past a pallet of nacho cheese at Costco today. Looked my daughter in the eye and said, β€œDylan, don’t touch”

Natcho-cheese.

I try.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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I work at Johnsonville, lost a whole pallet of sausages yesterday - luckily I have a plan...

Time for the β€œwurst-case scenario”. Glad I brat that to your attention? Sorry, I know these jokes are played, you gotta take sausage jokes on a casing by casing basis. Ok I’ll stop now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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The plan to move the pallets went off without a hitch. v.redd.it/br7lyin1qy531
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inDgenious
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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They delivered materials for our new roof today. I looked out the window, confused. Said to my son, β€œhuh, that’s weird. There are several pallets out there. He asked why that’s weird.

I was just expecting a shingle pallet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The1hangingchad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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Pallet Cleanser
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dcstapleton
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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I added some pun to the sign on a broken pallet jack at work.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timbillyosu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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Two Irishmen rob a grocery store of a pallet of exotic macadamia nuts to sell on the black market. They begin to argue about where to take the pallet when the passenger says "You're driving me nuts!" The driver replies..

YOUR NUTS?!?!?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/valonnyc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
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I found the start of my PokΓ©mon quest!!! (Pallet town)
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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Cleft palette vs. cleffed pallet
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2017
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My neighbor is renovating his kitchen and keeps leaving huge delivered packages on his front lawn. The latest is a huge basin on a pallet and It. Is. An eyesore.

Let that sink in.

Happy Father's Day!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thejohnblog
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
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Pallet cleanse

Family was having breakfast at Denny's when my dad looks out the window towards a semi truck packed with wood pallets.

Dad: "I wonder if the driver cleaned those before he ate"

Me: "Cleaned what? All those pallets?"

Dad: "Yeah, I heard your supposed to cleanse your pallet before you eat!"

The whole table groaned, he was so proud of himself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acrites4947
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2015
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A guy goes for a drive and his car stalls...

...right in front of a house where there’s a huge party going on. He walks in and notices that the party is somewhat divided. There’s a clear distinction between the people waiting for the bathroom and the people queued up for drinks, etc.

Considering the urgency of the bathroom queue, he walks over to the drinks table and asks everyone there if they wouldn’t mind helping him push his car to get it started. They agree but even with the full might of several people, the car doesn’t budge. He thanks them for trying and they all head back inside.

A little while later, the doorbell rings. The man sees the host open the door to the largest pizza guy he’s ever seen. The behemoth is holding 15 pizzas with one hand, a pallet of buffalo wings with the other, with a keg strapped to each shoulder. The man jumps up and asks the pizza guy for his help pushing the car. He agrees and they head to the street.

With barely one touch of a pinky on one hand, the car lurches forward and starts right up. The man drives off, waving behind him and yelling a quick, β€œThank you.”

As he catches sight of the party fading into the distance, he says to himself...

β€œThank goodness for the delivery because that punch line sure is weak.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/silashoulder
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Really nice bit of furniture I spotted earlier. Just think it should have been Aloha price.
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πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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Wife thinks I am nuts!

So my daughter is in Girl Scouts. Everybody knows that the Girl Scouts sell cookies, but they also sell chocolates, nuts, and other snack food. Since we have only one car and a large garage we usually volunteer as a cupboard. Basically we get a few pallets of stuff and the area troops pick up from our place.

Me: [stopping mid pulling into the garage] What is that?!

Wife: [concerned] What is it?

Me: [shaking my head] That is nuts!

Wife: [eyes roll] Really?

Me: [laughing uncontrollably]

My son didn’t laugh either.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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Three little pigs

Once upon a time there were three little pigs, Pork Chop, Hambone, and Bacon.

The boys lived at home with their mother. One day their mother said, β€œI no longer have enough food to feed you boys, you need to go out on your own and find your fortunes.”

Not wanting to upset their mother they left the house together to seek their fortunes.

Several miles into their journey Bacon, the little pig everyone liked best, said, β€œLet’s build our houses here! This seems like a great place to start making our fortunes.”

Pork Chop and Hambone agreed. So they all began building their houses.

Pork Chop, the laziest of the bunch, decided to build his house out of straw, which he apparently stole from a nearby field. It was not a very sturdy building material, but Pork Chop didn’t care. All he wanted to do was play all day, and he didn’t want to spend too much time building.

Hambone was willing to work a bit harder and he decided to build his house out of sticks which he procured by de-limbing every tree within a 300 meter radius of their homestead.

Hambone and Pork Chop were happy. Now all they had to do was to play and sleep the rest of the day.

Now Bacon was a hard worker. He knew that his brothers had used bad materials and shoddy construction methods and he wanted to build the best house he could. He found several tons of bricks stacked in neatly ordered pallets in the forest which he decided to use for his building material. It took him several days, but when he was done Bacon had the best house on the homestead.

The next day a wolf, Scott Howard, happened upon the pig brothers and their new homestead. He spied the straw house and smelled Pork Chop inside and began to think to himself that Pork Chop would make a mighty fine meal, so Scott went and knocked on the door.

Scott said, β€œLittle Pig! Little Pig! Let me in!”

Pork Chop replied, β€œNo way JosΓ©! Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin!”

Scott, undeterred by the reply says, β€œThen I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your crappy straw house to the ground!”

Scott began to huff and puff. He was evidently having some sort of asthma attack, but after a few tugs from his handy dandy rescue inhaler, he was able to muster enough wind to blow Pork Chops straw house to the ground.

Pork Chop narrowly escaped Scott’s massive jaws. Scared, and now homeless, Pork Chop ran for the nearest shelter he could see. Hambone’s house.

Scott, undeterred, chased Pork Chop to his new hiding place. Scott was very pleas

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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Do you know why I consider my warehouse job a sacred thing?

Because worshipping pallets!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrguykloss
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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Sad news.

At the Nestle factory today a member of staff was seriously injured when a pallet of chocolate fell more than 50 feet and crushed him underneath...

He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he shouted "The milky bars are on me" everyone cheered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
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Like the tired stock clerk at the art-supply store said:

"I just can't palate another pallet of palettes."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2017
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Double dad joke at work today.

A little background I work at a warehouse and was moving some pallets, I walked by a buddy of mine and the conversation went a bit like this:

Me: Hey do you want some wood to eat?

Him: Why wood I want that?

Me: Because I heard it's very palatable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TreeFittyy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2015
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Got dadjoked by a randomer earlier

Taking my dog for a walk, an old bloke, mid 70's in a flat cap was going past, with a wheelbarrow with some large wooden pallet board-y looking things in, as he went past me he said "I'm going to a board meeting"

Burst out in laughter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oneinchwalrus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2014
🚨︎ report
Dadjoke scares toys'r'us employees.

Today at the local toys'r'us with my SO and the kids. We approach two teenagers restocking the shelves from a pallet full of cardboard boxes. I hear one of them ask the other if she has seen the knife. The other says no, an I notice they're searching for it. As we pass i ask if "they're looking for one of them retractable knifes?"

Her: "Yes"

Me: "I think i saw a kid running around with it over there" *points with thumb over my shoulder

Her:...-...! *face turns white

My SO: I'm sorry he's joking. Arrrg! 2rgeir can't I take you anywhere?

Me: *snickering

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2rgeir
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2014
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Grocery Store Buff

I saw one of the employees at walmart set up his own work out bench made out of pallets and Soda Cases. He was Bench a few packs of Dr. Pepper, as I am seeing this the only thing I can think is, "Man that's Soda Pressing!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_J_Nice
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2015
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Just got some looks of disappointment from my warehouse coworkers

I grabbed a brand new pallet from the stack, turned to my coworker, and said "did I just have some ginger? Because this pallet is fresh!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jealentuss
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2015
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What Pokemon town has the best food?

Pallet Town.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coffeechipmunk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2015
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I was walking through the garden center when

I saw a lady who worked there hauling a pallet of citrus trees marked 75% off.

I asked her, "What's wrong with these, are they Lemons?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xerobull
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2015
🚨︎ report

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