Yesterday, I shot an elephant in my pajamas.

And later a rhinoceros in the buff.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tatticky
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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My Favorite Punny Pajama Pants
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πŸ‘€︎ u/punny_lil_bunny
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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What do you call a zombie in pajamas?

The sleepwalking dead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UkuSw0w
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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(My 8-year old made this one up) What kind of pajamas do they wear on Hoth?

Wampa-jamas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shakerchef
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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Boonanas in Pajamas
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Diesel_Measles
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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My kid was eating sloppy joe's in his pajamas.

Now he has sloppy jams.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manlyvpn
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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I suffer from pajama paralysis.

Am I going to change? Probably not.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/howdoyoudivorce
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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What did my pajamas get on his report card?

One C

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PostreDeLaNoche
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas

How he got in my pajamas, I’ll never know.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
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So there's this guy in pajamas at Blockbuster...

The clerk asks him "Did you get a copy of all the Disney movies you wanted?"

"Nah, I just got UP."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mxjf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2017
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What do you call someone who makes pajamas?

A soft wear engineer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IsItTimeToPanic
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2017
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I got expelled from school on pajama day.

Its not my fault I sleep naked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/__Odelay__
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
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Do you sleep in your pajamas?

No, I sleep in my bed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paulinkenbrandt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
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Last night, I couldn't find my normal pajamas, so I put on swim trunks.

My wife asked, "why are you wearing swim trunks right now?"

Because, I'm about to dive into bed!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rockbandit
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2017
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How do you know when a cat loves you?

When it thinks you're its pajamas!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StoopSign
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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In my downtime, I've taken to making sleepwear for my pets.

They are the cat's pajamas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adjaru182
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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Dad jokes in real life.

Tonight my wife and I were explaining why my son had to wear pajama bottoms after putting anti-itch cream on his legs, because it kept it from rubbing off on the sheets. β€œBut doesn’t it rub off on the pajamas?” asked my daughter. My wife patiently explained that the cream could then rub back onto his legs.

β€œYes,” I said. β€œIt’s a perpetual lotion machine.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jofish22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2018
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She needed to prepare for trouble, make that double!

Today a student of mine was wearing a Pikachu onesie for pajama day at work (a junior in h.s.).our conversation went like this. If she wasn't in anime club with me I would have left her alone.

Me: did your wear that so guys would want to take a peek-at-chu?

Student : Mrs. Acinomismonica, please stop

Me: why? You scared they won't choose you?

Student : I'm going to stop talking to you now

Me: don't be such an Ash

Student : Mrs. Acinomismonica, you need to stop!

Me: c'mon student, you gotta Ketchum to my jokes

Enter the rest of my class groaning, it was a good day. Good thing I stopped before they threw Brocks at me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acinomismonica
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2016
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One of my Dad's more popular jokes.

I shot an elephant in my underwear the other day. I have no idea how it got in them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CreamyGoodness90
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2014
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Got the girlfriend last week.

After a date night, I walked her to a car. It was late, so she tole me to go upstairs and put on my pajamas.

Her - "well, you don't wear pajamas. I guess your boxers"

Me - "right. I don't sleep in the nude. That'd be a little weird"

Her - "There are weirder things to sleep in"

Me - "Yeah, like a suit of armor"

Her - "That would be weird"

Me - "At least I'd get a good knight's sleep!"

She roller her eyes and told me to go to bed.

Edit - I clearly can't type. I'm leaving the 'roller' mistake though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/triculous
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2015
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What is Waldo when he goes to bed at night?

The boy in the striped pajamas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kuczkowski
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2017
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What's worse than a banana?

Bananas in pajamas *inserts VHS tape

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πŸ‘€︎ u/look_out_for_th
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2017
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Husband's first dad joke as a new dad.

Context: Our 3 month old son had some cotton/fuzz/lint stuck between his fingers from a newer pair of pajamas. I was trying to keep his hands out of his mouth because I didn't want him eating the cloth particles.

Husband came out with this: Leave him alone LDJD. He has to get his fiber. Get it, fiber?

groans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ldjd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2014
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Meet the Jack of all dadjokes!

I was asked to help chauffeur a carload of youth around town for a Christmas caroling activity last night. One of the names on the list was Jack, who lost his wife earlier this year. Jack is in his early 90's, stands about 5'2, and is quite possibly the king of all dad jokes.

So, the group of about 25 kids and 5 adults sneak up to his doorstep and begin singing a few short Christmas carols. Eventually, he opens the door and is thrilled to have visitors.

After we are finished singing and the kids are all running back to the vehicles to get out of the 15 degree weather, jack steps out of his doorway and on to his porch. He is wearing a light t-shirt and pajama pants... he was setting us up, and we took the bait, hook, line, and sinker.

Woman: Are you freezing?

Jack: No, I'm not freezing, I'm Jack (pause for laughter)

Jack: but if you hang on for just a minute, I can get freezing for you.

and then he just stood there smiling at us. It was precious. Come to find out, Jack is entering a retirement home in a few days because he is getting to the point that it is hard to take care of himself anymore.

Oh boy, those nurses are in for a treat once Jack gets settled in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Happyazz84
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2013
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Got her...

My gf was obsessing over these batman pajamas when she said...

"OMG I want these so bad, i think i might just have to sell my body for them." (obviously implying prostitution)

"But then what would you put them on?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrativeDomo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2013
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My co-worker got me today

It was spirit week at work (to raise money for American Cancer Society) and today was pajama day. I showed up in my pink owl pajamas and looked real cute. Anyways as we're leaving, he almost slips on the hardwood, forgetting he wasn't wearing shoes.

Me: (laughing) are you okay? Him: yeah, I'm sure that was a real... Hoot. insert groans from other co workers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrissKross94
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2015
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Not sure if I dadjoked my wife or myself.

My wife is always cold in bed and uses a heated mattress pad to keep her side so scalding hot you could fry eggs on it. And then she piles on a ton of blankets. And wears flannel pajamas. As she was climbing into bed last night I said:

me - I wish I was a dragon.

her - ::confused look::

me - So I could withstand the insane heat it would take to get you to sleep naked.

She laughed. But didn't get naked. Guess the joke was on me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thetk42one
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2014
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Answering the whine: "I'm Cold!"

A: (getting out of the tub) "I'm cold!"

I proceed to call him "Cold" as a proper name for the next five minutes while he gets dried off and I clip his fingernails. ("Give me your hand, Cold." "What's so funny, Cold?")

Me: "Okay, Cold, go get on your pajamas."

A: (laughing) "STOP CALLING ME 'COLD.'"

Me: "You know... if you get your pajamas on... and warm up..."

A: "Then I won't be 'Cold' any more."

Me: "Yep."

(Pajamas on)

Me: "A! Where have you been?? I haven't seen you for a while. I thought 'Cold' was going to be here all night!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Redbeard25
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2015
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My dad has is baby granddaughter's best interest at heart, yet he's still logical.

While putting footie pajamas on my baby niece we realized she was too tall for them. My dad says, "Cut off her feet and they'll fit. She's young, she'll adapt."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lrnrae
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2013
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5 year old walks straight into a dad joke

Daughter yells from the bathroom: "I'm going to get in my pajamas now!"

Husband replies without missing a beat: "finish wiping first or they'll be Poojamas."

Me: "that needs to go on r/dadjokes. Either you post it or I will.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SupersonicJungle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2014
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I shot an elephant in my pajamas

Why he was in my pajamas I will never know

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
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I once shot a bear in my pajamas.

How it ever got into my pajamas I'll never know.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Killzent
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
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