My daughter asked for a PB&J

I delivered it on a dad joke platter

http://imgur.com/a/98MD4lO

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pladhoc
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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What’s the worst kind of jelly to put in your PB&J?

Traffic Jam

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DonBonleone
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
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It took me 2 hours to make a PB&J sandwich.

They keep saying, SLOW THE SPREAD!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_WES_ome
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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My wife made a PB&J protein shake and asked what I thought. I suggested she add regular kitchen spices.

Then she could have peanut butter jelly thyme!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aardvark1292
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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Instead of PB&J sandwich, I accidentally gave my son chopped onion into his lunch box

He cried.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rybavlimuzine
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
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Why do you never ask a chemist to make a PB & J?

Lead poisoning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/toastycheeks
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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My wife made me a Pb & J sandwich...

I think she's trying to poison me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sentibite
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2017
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The perfect PB&J...

My wife asked me to make our child a PB&J sammich for his lunch.
I told her that my native american relative tought me how to make the perfect PB&J.
She asked which one? And I said:
Uncle Rusty Bull.
From the Smuckers tribe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2017
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What happens when you try to print a PB&J?

Jam in tray 1.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rabidmilkman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2017
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Classic dad joke in an old episode of the PBS children's cartoon "George Shrinks"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/proletarium
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2014
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Fellow Dads, Help me name this Garden Art

Looking for what my fellow Dads would name this garden artwork in my buddies yard.

Carved Tree

I called it GandOwlF

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marc--
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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What's a pirate's favorite beer?

PB-Arrrg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tree_Mum
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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Hey Siri, I'm bleeding really bad. Can you call me an ambulance?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Discount_Dracula
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2017
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A chemist’s daughter asked for lunch

One Pb and J sandwich later and she was hospitalized for lead poisoning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JS0D
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
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San Bernadino:

An ISIL-ated incident

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scandiumflight
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2015
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Dad and Son Team

Dinner guest: So last night I was watching a PBS documentary on Mars.

Father and Son simultaneously: Wow! How did you get back? (fist bump)

πŸ‘︎ 639
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tallpapab
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2014
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Told my dad a joke stolen from AskReddit... Touche, old man

[dad joke] (https://m.imgur.com/p6BewPb)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nhwoodsblues
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2017
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My dad the magician...

Growing up I ate a lot of sandwiches. Without fail, every time I asked my father to make one for me this was the exchange...

Me: "Dad, can you make me a sandwich"?

Dad: "POOF! You're a sandwich."

It was maddening, especially when I was jonesing for a PB&J.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CTV49
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2013
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I asked my gf to make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

She responds, "it would be difficult to make you a pb&j because you are too big. You would be large peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Achillez34
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2017
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"Babe can you move over?" "But I don't have mushroom."

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C1YAA2xXAAE0Tcx.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BreakingGarrick
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2017
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Number one on my bucket list

Is probably this

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fakint
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2015
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Thank You Olds, Alberta.

My girlfriend showed me a photo of severe weather in a town north of us and asked "have you seen the photo from Olds yet?"

"Saw it yesterday! That's old news"

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2015
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Why did the chemist die after eating a Pb&J?

Because he ate lead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doortem
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
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