Did you hear about the new disease caused by oregano?

Herbies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/liverpool135
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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Does anyone know what happened to that guy who got arrested for dealing oregano?

Last I heard, he was doing thyme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cowimpersonator
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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People in cities who grow their own basil, oregano, etc...

Are herb-an farmers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CronoZero15
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2015
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What is it called when everything in your spice cabinet is sad?

Seasonal Depression

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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsthatbrownguy91
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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Policeman taking a witness statement from the waiter after a shooting at a vegan bar..

Policeman: Can you describe the shooter? Waiter: 6 feet, white male, grey shirt and a skirt made of parsley. P: Parsley? W: Yes. It was just a herb he wore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LateralAxes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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I've been swapping labels around on my wife's spice jars.

She may not know anything about it yet, but mark my words--the thyme is cumin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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I built a spice rack that wasn't big enough to hold all my spices

I lost track of all of space and thyme

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scoob1978
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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My kids get confused when I throw whole basil leaves at them this time of year

But as they say, 'tis the season

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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And now the pasta will lead us in a hymn...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Razabeth
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xdarkstarr
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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Herbal essentials

Noted researcher Rosemary Fuller was involved in a lab accident today. She's working on the theory that herb-based formulas can actually reverse or accelerate the aging process. Parsley, for example, has been shown to cause rapid aging, and recent efforts have shown good results with oregano-based anti-aging serums. Ms Fuller was, unfortunately, standing near a vat of simmering oregano serum when a nearby researcher nudged her and she fell in! It appeared at first that the anti-aging serum would cause her to de-age down to nothing. Now, though, it looks like she'll be all right. The Parsley's aged Rosemary in time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berenaltorin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Man, I don’t have any thyme for this!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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Someone asked me why I use lots of spices whenever I cook

So I said thyme is of the essence

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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hen you want to add some flavor to your sex life [OC]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iziahzay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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This hurts me from my head tomatoes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankmonseiur69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
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Apparently I need to spice up my jokes because my friends have heard them all before.

I’m not very oregano.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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My pops always said he would go to his grave with his famous BBQ chicken recipe. On his death bead, he had me lean in to tell me the secret ingredient.

That’s when I knew it was Thyme.

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πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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You don' gotta tell me this pizza sauce is great.

I oregano.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onecupcoconut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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My son asked me...

to tell him an oregano joke I said "I don't oregano one."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fox_Trot_above_me
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2017
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My good friend Chef Lombardi died the other day

Manicotti fever and penne just pasta way.

Pesto wishes to his family.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheggg
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2015
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While my wife was making pasta sauce...

She was adding oregano to the mix when a bunch poured out of the bottle.

After a quick taste test I said "I guess you over-reganoed it".

She just starred at me for at least 10 seconds before saying "really....."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lawlish
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2015
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My friends and I usually try to make as many terrible dad jokes as humanly possible. Today I came up with two...

Firstly, the other day in my Swedish language class I was conversing flirtatiously with a chick whom I sit near. She had said how she wants to be a lawyer, and the word for lawyer is "advokat" in Swedish. So I said "ah so you want to be en advokat? Cool, but why not a normal cat?"

And then earlier today I said to an American friend of mine: "If Oregon had more of an Italian herbalist population, wouldn't it become Oregano?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KatsumotoKurier
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2015
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Another good dinnertime dad joke

As I was eating dinner with my dad, he goes to put some pasta in the microwave with few oregano leaves on the top. I saw this and asked, "Is that okay to microwave raw oregano? I hope it doesn't turn out like kale." (For the few of you who have tried microwaving kale like me, you'll know that it sparks, smokes, and eventually catches fire.)

My dad responded with, "Yeah I hope it doesn't turn out like the kale, because then it will be chard."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/right_in_two
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2014
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