Please tell me the most obscure dad joke in your repertoire

I need this

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πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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The NFL has this obscure rule where players aren’t allowed to own pet ducks.

It’s considered to be a personal fowl.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
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My doctor told me that, due to an obscure medical condition, I would never be able to feel shocked or frightened ever again.

I wasn't surprised.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheManxLynx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
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My Dad dropped what might be the most obscure joke I've heard

Basically we somehow got on the topic of hipsters and irony. My Dad wanted to make a sort of pun to annoy my sister, because she hates puns.

Now I figure most people would make some sort of reference to an iron "e", and that would be it. But oh no, that's far too simple for him. He says something along the lines of,

"If they're ironic (or defined by irony), doesn't that make them Pharisees?"

So you've got to know that "Ferrous" refers to iron, and then to have some basic knowledge of the New Testament or at least have heard of the Pharisees before. This kind of works on another level because the Pharisees were accused of saying one thing and doing another, which could be said to be ironic to some degree. Of course I've just killed the frog at this point, but I mean if you're ever around some Chemists who have some knowledge of the bible, you might get a slight chuckle, or perhaps even a nod. I'm not really even sure if this qualifies as a Dad joke, but there ya go.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raptor-Llama
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
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This pun is magical
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supertoasty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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With the lack of sports on television, networks are going to show the world origami championship.

It’ll be on paper view.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VikingLord17
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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What does a 6'10" Irishman with a sunburn have in common with the star named Betelgeuse?

They're both red giants, and way bigger than my son(sun).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/barrtender
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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Somebody asked, "Who is your favorite Beatle? John, Paul, George, or Ringo?"

I said, "I like Pete Best."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Juevolitos
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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Why did the hipster drown?

He went ice skating on the pond before it was cool

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ducks420
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
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How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh, it's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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Do you know how we call an elevator in China ?

By pushing a button

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coinsnroses
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
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The gunslinger walks through the saloon doors...

and he just stands there, surveying the assemblage as the room goes quiet. And suddenly he yells, "All you dirty bastards, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

And the crowd rushing the exists raises a cloud of dust, obscuring vision. When it settled, the gunslinger notices one little wizened old man tucked in a corner beside the piano. The gunslinger walks over, his spurs making a small jingling sound. He stands in front of the still-seated old man. "WELL?," he demands.

The old man looks up earnestly into the gunslinger's face, "Sure was a lot of 'em, wasn't ther?".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shagata_Ganai
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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What are the Irish police's favorite spice?

Garda-mom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ic3w4ter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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What's the name of the machine the ancient greeks used to calculate how best to fight hybrid monsters?

The antichimera mechanism.

(I don't know how obscure this is, but if it doesn't make sense click this link)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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I know nothing about my lineage.

I’ve been living in relative obscurity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rusics12
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
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Picking Strawberries to give away can be a fruitful endeavour! No punnet tendered.
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2015
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You want to see how fast I can destroy something?

I can give you a quick demo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tuneuponipod
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2013
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I made my dad proud during the football game tonight.

We were watching the Patriots/Falcons game, which had a ton of fog in the stadium obscuring camera views, when I dropped this one:

β€œIt’s weird that the fog is still there when the stadium is full of fans.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrWordsmithMD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2017
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Dad joking your dad is like finding the Holy Grail

My dad, discovering his copy of Monty Python and the Holy Grail in a completely obscure place:

Him: holds up box wow, that would have been hard to find when I wanted to watch it.

Me: yeah, it would have been like trying to find the Holy Grail!

Him: speechless eyeroll

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saints_chyc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2016
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Surprised I wasn't fired for this one...

I work in a small office and control the music via my phone. An obscure track from "The Who" started playing...

Boss: "Who is this?"

Me: "Yes."

Boss: "It's [Yes](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yes_(band)?"

Me: "No."

Boss: "Well who is it?"

Me: "Yes."

I let it go two complete loops. Thank goodness he has a sense of humor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FidlerBD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2014
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My son just got me while Christmas decorating

I was putting up my Christmas tree lights while my wife and my 10 year old read over a list of obscure phobias.

"Hey Dad what's the fear if Santa called?"

Claustrophobia

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreakInThePen
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2015
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My 6th grade teacher was the king of dad jokes.

My 6th grade teacher had a reputation of being the meanest, strictest teacher on campus, but once I made it through his class, I realized he could be a jokester, too.

-In math class, he liked to tell a long, complicated story about a boy encountering a genie, eventually wishing for some odd things, just to end it with the punchline, "Gee, I'm a tree." (geometry)

-Another one of his long jokes consisted of a man being chased by a hearse. In a fit of desperation, he throws some Halls throat lozenges at it...."and the coffin went away."

-During study time, he would sometimes grab a balloon from his desk, blow it up, and proceed to slowly let air out of it, just to produce the squeaky noise.

-His favorite short joke: "Doctor, doctor, I broke my arm in three places!" "I advise you to stay out of those places."

-He was also probably the all-time leader of correcting, "Can I go to the bathroom?"

-He would also occasionally play opera music at the end of the day, not dismissing the class until we made it through an entire song without laughing.

-There were also a couple words that incited a specific reaction from him. Many of these words showed up often in history class, which is his favorite subject (probably because of all the jokes):

Anyway, it was a fun year with that teacher. I'll add more of his quirks if I think of any.

-Also,

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyei8hts
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
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Dad I can't see the TV -- move your head!

bobs-head-from-side-to-side-while-continuing-to-obscure-the-tv

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πŸ‘€︎ u/penis_sound_wave
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2013
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Dad joked while getting a tour of a glass factory

So i know the joke is old, but the application was classic...

I was with my dad buying some glass cutting supplies and the guy in the store was really dry and seemed to take his job pretty seriously. We wrapped up our purchase and the shop worker asked if we wanted a quick tour of the production facility. We said 'yes' and walked into the back. Shop worker guy showed us some bullet proof glass, and a new self obscuring glass... then he mentions that most of what they do is provide mirrors for elevators and he turns to walk us over to the last section of the facility where they do wood grain backed mirrors. My dad stops walking and says "elevators hey"? The shop worker turns and looks at him... "I hear that industry has it's ups and downs"... Shop worker guy makes eye contact with me and turns and continues his tour. While no noise escaped his lips i could feel an internal groan that shook the walls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobbyflorentine
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2014
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How many hipsters does it take to fix a light bulb?

It's a pretty obscure number. You've probably never heard of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh, it's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh, it's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
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How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It’s this really obscure number; you’ve probably never even heard of it before.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/standupok
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
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