What do you call a pig from New York?
If Irving Berlin lived in Montreal instead of New York...
Would he have written ‘Poutine on the Ritz?’
Due to freezing conditions in New York, the mens American Naturist Society....
.....has seen the size of their members shrink dramatically.
What's the most dangerous part of New York in the winter?
Sorry New York Jets, but you just can’t score touchdowns.
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.
Now she's a small medium at large.
What do you call a deer from New York
What do you call an elf that lives in New York City?
Did you notice that people started taking the looters & rioters seriously once New York was hit?
Probably because everyone knows where the Big Apple is, but not where the Minneapolis.
The twin towers of New York World Trade Center are like genders.
There used to be two, but now they are just a sensitive topic.
Also: The real 9/11 pays respect! The world remembers 9/11.
Never ask anyone whether they prefer New York City or Syracuse.
That's comparing apples to oranges.
Theres a lot of tall men around parts of new york
Especially long guy land.
My glitch happened when I forgot to renew my subscription to a weekly news magazine based in New York City.
Why can't a man living in New York be buried in Chicago ?
Did you hear about the viagara truck hijacked in New York the other day?
The police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals
Did you hear what the New York Times editor-in-chief said on their last day?
"Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today."
Why do Indians love New York?
Because there's a Delhi on every block.
2 cats in New York test pawsitive for Coronavirus
I propose that the much desired New York Strip Steak be renamed to Washington DC.
This will make the District of Columbia, finally a steak.
I once hiked to a lake with the states of Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and New York on its western, southern, and eastern shores. Not a bird was singing and the lake was still...
BREAKING NEWS: New York subway car breaks down after laptop explodes. When asked what happened, the NYPD responded:
A Dell set fire to the train
What New York borough has the lowest cholesterol levels?
I can't believe they gave that engineer who wrecked the train in New York the electric chair. And he survived it!
I guess he just wasn't a very good conductor.
Ever wondered why there are so many people named Tony in New York?
It’s because on their luggage it said To N.Y
How do you call it when your previous wife moves to New York from a small town?
The Russian president visited New York and stayed at a pretty swanky hotel.
He was Putin on the Ritz.
What is Edward Benedict's, Humpty Dumpty's cousin from New York, favorite time of year?
What does the chef of a Chinese New York restaurant say, when you barge into their kitchen?
Where does Black Panther stay when he's in New York?
What building in New York has the most stories?
New York City once had 4 sections and New Jersey needed to borough one.
When you regret ordering salmon over a New York strip
You know what New York City said to London when it was his turn?
Why did the vampire subscribe to the new york times?
He heard it had great circulation.
Btw can we start a trend of holloween dad jokes for the coming month? Plus I'd love to hear some pumpkin puns.
How do you ask the bridge that crosses New York's Hudson River between Tarrytown and Nyack if it speaks German?
What should you do if you see someone choking at a famous New York museum?
Perform the Guggenheimlich maneuver.
What did the fisherman from New York say to the magician?
New York Customer tells the chef that he knows the secret ingredient
The chef promptly asks who told you? Customer says, I have my sauces.
"DELETER OF THE FREE WORLD" - New York Post front page on the Hillary email scandal
imgur.com/0BNIPzn
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
I was once so drunk I went from New York to Alabama,
I guess you could say I wasn’t in the best of states.
New York Post: "How Patriots owner Robert Craft could get off in prostitution case"
When my friend from New York City drove to Nebraska in his Honda SUV, he went for a walk in the countryside...
He was out of his Element.
New York MTA (subway) dad must be in control of writing for the website...
Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbor?
Because she can't lay down
(Old guy at work told me this today)
I never sausage a thing as her tenderloins, til your New York strip.
Back when I lived in New York, I had a friend named Justin, who worked as an NBA clock operator.
We called him Justin, the Knick of time.
Where do New York dad's go to get new jokes?
A chicken went to visit New York City to visit her brother who had just laid an egg.
A New York new yolk.
My 8 year old daughter just made this one up over dinner in little Italy. We're in the city visiting my wife's brother's family who had their first baby last summer. I was pretty impressed and had to share.
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