A New Motorcycle
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnergizerBunnyCJ
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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What type of motorcycle does Santa ride?

A Holly Davidson.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matrose9
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Why does my motorcycle keep falling asleep?

Because it's two tired

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordTrollsworth
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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What do you call Santa’s motorcycle brand?

A holly davidson

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coxxy2025
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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"Have you ever done anything good?" St. Peter asked a guy when he showed up at the Pearly Gates. "To protect a young girl I punched the leader of a motorcycle gang, kicked his bike over, and told them all to back off!" said the man. St. Peter was impressed, "When did you do this?"

"Oh, just a couple of minutes ago."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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Wood Motorcycle

A man once built a bike all of wood. Wooden frame, wooden wheels, wooden motor, even wooden gas tank.

Did he ever ride it? No, because it wooden start!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/browserleet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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My wife blindsided me this morning with this....

So I've been wanting to sell my motorcycle for a while but haven't gotten around to it.

While in the car this morning I saw a sign for a local shop that read "We buy used motorcycles." I pointed it out to her and she replies with, "if that's not a sign, I don't know what is."

I was so proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobkirby12
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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Which household item really loves motorcycles?

The broom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IrshamWindborn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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What do you call a laughing motorcycle?

a Yamahahahahaha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmokedOutVlogs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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What do you call a motorcycle gang of bisexual norse monarchs?

Bikings

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πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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We went camping and heard some motorcycles off in the distance

There must be some wild hogs in the area

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Capta1nR3dbeard
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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When it comes to motorcycle jokes

I triumph every time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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Motorcycle
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreamSeer95
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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Friend purchased a wooden motorcycle. Wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels. I asked if they had ridden it and they said no...

Wooden start

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonRanch1989
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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The mirrors I ordered for my motorcycle finally came in

I told the guy at the parts desk, thanks I'm looking forward to looking behind me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/free_range_veal
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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"I can't stand being half motorcycle...

"I can't stand being half motorcycle, half bicycle", he moped.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eclipse666
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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About a year ago, I had this friend named Uriah, who I called β€œU”. I gave my old motorcycle to him, because I had just bought a new one. Soon thereafter, he put it on a scale.

Last Christmas, I gave Yamaha. But the very next day, U gave it a weigh.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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My first dad joke

Why didn’t the motorcycle want to go on a ride?

Because he was two tired!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Robjack1116
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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Why did the motorcycle need a kickstand?

Because it was twooo tired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaketheoc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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I named my motorcycle β€˜My Case’

That way my wife will ride it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mldutch
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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What do you call a pirate motorcycle?

An ARRLEY Davison

This is really bad I’m sorry Xd

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jukeboxer64
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
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The motorcycle crash
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Speaker4real
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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Why don’t Russians ride motorcycles?

When they ride the the engine keeps on Stalin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmynuron
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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That motorcycle has super funny decals.

It was a Yamahaha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShakinBacon64
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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I was going to give my old motorcycle to my son...

But I'm no Indian giver!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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"I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle" he moped
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jayckb
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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Why couldn't the motorcycle stay up until midnight?

It was two-tyred

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πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
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I bought a new rear tire for my motorcycle today. As the clerk handed it to me, I looked him in the eye and said "guess I can retire now"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
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A motorcycle on one tire is cool

It's wheely cool

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamthewall69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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Girlfriend was working on the motorcycle with me the other day...

She exclaimed "God! This is ridiculous. I need, like, four arms to do this!".

To which I replied "but honey, you DO have forearms!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zswickliffe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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Dead crows

The Texas Department of Transportation (TxDOT) found over 200 dead crows on U.S. Highway 281 this past week, and there was concern that they may have died from the Coronavirus.

A veterinary epidemiologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Coronavirus (COVID-19).

The cause of death was actually from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorcycles, while only 2% were killed by cars.

TxDOT then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorcycle kills versus car kills.

The Ornithological Behaviorist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.

They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "bike"!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Semujin
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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Funny 'Dads Anonymous' story to share for the holiday weekend.

"Welcome everyone to Dads Anonymous. Again my name is Bill and you will notice that we have a new member, please welcome Gary -- Can you tell us what brought you to us today?"

"Well I have a very embarrassing confession. It's even hard to get the words out."

Bill reassures him, "We are all dads here and have been meeting for decades, we've been through all the highs and lows, births and deaths, tragedies, we've heard it all. Just tell us what's on your mind son, we are here to support each other."

"Well, a couple months ago, I broke both my legs in a motorcycle accident and couldn't walk, so I let my wife use the lawnmower." He says through the sobs...

Bob, one of the other dads, starts to get pale. "...and she didn't even cut it in a crisp geometric pattern, it was just random..." Bob starts to sweat and get dry heaves. "YOU BASTARD", he screams. "HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN." The dads rise and get ready to beat the crap out of Gary, when Bill stands between them and breaks it up.

"Guys! Guys, we all get weak sometimes and things happen outside our control. Doug, you remember when you were in recovering from Chemo and you gave your wife a hammer, and she used it to hammer a roofing nail into the drywall to hang a picture!" Doug, looks down in shame, "Yes, that was a bad day, I was so weak. She missed the stud and left a dent in the wall, and she just hung the picture over it, crooked!" There was dead silence. "Thats ok Doug, it was twenty years ago, you were young and foolish, you can let it go". Then all the dads shook hands and sat back down.

Bill starts the meeting up again. Then Gary says, "..theres one more thing, Right after I got out of the hospital, she wanted to make a special dinner for us, so I let her grill the steaks..." "OH LORD THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" screams Dave, another dad, his face turning red. Gary continues "...she burnt them one one side and they were dry and chewy." Now there is a bedlam, one dad immediately passes out cold, chairs are thrown, broken bottles, Gary is on the ground being kicked in the ribs. After a few tense minutes Bill managed to get the dads off of Gary. "Stop it, Dave you're killing him. Come on, you remember that time you let your wife go to the repair shop for an oil change?" Dave hung his head, and muttered yeah. "They convinced her to change the cabin filter, wiper blades and the radiator collant..." Bill kept prodding "and, aaand" ...Dave broke down, "and she bought a jug of blinker fluid!" T

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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Why didn't the motorcycle make the trip?

Because it was two tired

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotbuttbiscuit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2017
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My brother can do motorcycle stunts in the snow.

It's wheelie cool

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
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I feel like a Motorcycle today.

I'm too tired

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanmeadus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2018
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(x-post from /r/motorcycles) My bike started lagging in power, so I took it to my local mechanic...

He told my timing was retarded. Somewhat offended, I asked him "when would it have been a better time to bring it in?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uptwolait
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2018
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The truck tells the motorcycle a dad joke.

The motorcycle says "Are you four wheel?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
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Why did the motorcycle not want to get out of bed?

He was two-tired

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πŸ‘€︎ u/angelo992001
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2017
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What do you get when you cross a motorcycle with a joke book?

A Yamahahaha!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRivalMenace
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2013
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What's a pirates motorcycle sound like?

Ruuuuuum rum rum ruuuuuuuuuuuum

I know it's not very good but I made it up sitting in traffic the other day

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2016
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What do you call a motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual norse monarchs?

The bikings.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fengyuseah
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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What do you call a motorcycle gang of bisexual Norse monarchs?

The bikings.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sebakira
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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Why did the motorcycle go to sleep?

It was two tired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wecsam
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
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Why did the motorcycle keep falling asleep

He was just two tired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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What do you call a laughing motorcycle?

A yamahahahahaha

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2017
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What do you call a laughing motorcycle?

A Yamahahahaha!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jukeboxer64
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
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