Cowifornia
He was studying foreign languages.
Cowch
Oh MOOgosh. This might just sound like a load of Bull, but please STEER me out.
Deja Moo (Sung to the tune of Fresh Prince of Bel-air)
Now these are puns all about COWS
Their milk gets flipped, churned all around.
And I’d like to take a minute but I won’t stop and prattle
And tell you this story you haven’t HERD about cattle.
In IstanBULL I was born and BRAISED.
In the pastures back then in my HAYDAYS.
Chewing cud, RUMPING round, and making a fuss.
TANNING out so UDDERLY ridiculous.
When a couple of HEIFERS who had BEEF with me
Started BULLying on my Brand , you see.
I got TIPPED over once and my mom got scared
She said you're MOOvin your behind, your butt, your DAIRY Air.
I whistled for a calf and when it came near
Thought she was a babe, but HE was a STEER!
If anything I can say this STEAK is rare
But that Bovine was BO-FINE so I didn’t care!
I got milked a few times, maybe 7 or 8
More like long-gonehorn, than reliable date.
So I CHUCKED out the udder half of the pasture,
Bevo ain’t a cow, don’t got what I’m after.
Fun fact: a Dairy Cow can produce 125lbs of saliva a day.
I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."
I told my wife "That cat would have way more grip on roof shingles and I expect more I realism from talking cartoon cows. This is "UDDERLY" ridiculous."
She may have buried her head and avoided eye contact for a bit. I was proud.
Must've been Mount Heiferest.
MOOING GUM.................................................................. My 8 year old told me this and I'm curious as to how many up votes it gets, if you don't like it please down vote without any bad feelings .
Because they're calfinated
Why did the tree moo?
Because there was a cow stuck in it!
moo-hoo
When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.
When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.
When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.
When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?
When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.
When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?
When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?
When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!
In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.
Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.
A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.
When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.
When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?
For all the moo law
Whose there?
Cow says
Cow says who?
No, cow says moo, dummy
Moo-slims
Cow-moo-flage.
... are my calves mooing.
It's pasture bedtime
Knock Knock / Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh—
Moooooooo!
There should be a Trump version.
Knock knock / Who's there?
Interrupting Trump.
Interrupting Trump wh—
Fake moos!
The captain was standing on the deck!
>A MOO MOO!
<<Thanks folks! I'm here all week! Don't forget to tip your cows!>>
The people believe in Fake Moos.
They figured they could make a lot of Moo Neigh.
Everyone knows the interrupting cow knock knock joke but we like making up KKJs for other cows. Here are some of ours; please add more so I can continue to surprise and delight the young people near and dear to me. TIA!
(Obviously each joke goes "Knock knock" etc. I'll just write the "cow" part and the punchline)
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French cow: le moo
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Backwards cow: oom
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Upside down cow: woo
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Sad cow: moo hoo hoo
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Ghost cow: moo-oo-oo-oooo
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Police cow: moo ee oo ee oo ee oo
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Cow on a motorbike: (make zooming moo)
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Cow in disguise: Baa
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Horse in disguise: Moo
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Invisible cow: (quickly cover child's eyes) Moo
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Inaudible cow:
A monk sits at the peak of a hill that overlooks where the grassy Earth meets a river, the river flows with a breeze, and the breeze explores a mountain range, and the mountains neighbor the sky, and the sky conceals the entire universe, hiding the unknown in plain sight. The monk exhales "Ooooomm". He repeats this until a noise, very faint, breaks his chant.
"moo."
The monk stops for a moment but, without changing his position, dismisses it. "Ooooooommm." He begins again.
He's interrupted again, "moooo."
The monk turns to find a cow looking up at him from the bottom of the hill. "Kind cow," the monk says, "please do not interrupt my meditation."
The cow stares blankly back at the monk. The monk sighs and continues.
"Oooooommmm-"
Even louder, "Mmmooooooooo."
"Dear cow, I must reach enlightenment. Please, refrain from making your cow noises or find another hill."
The monk continues again, "Oooooooommmm-"
"MMMmmoooooooooooO!" The cow exclaims.
The monk stands up angrily, "Cow! Why must you interrupt my chanting?"
The cow replies, "Because you're saying it backwards!"
Apparently they are looking for a man with a big moo-stash.
It has a moo-stache..
He was just trying to think outside the bawks
I like their song “Baa Moo Rising”
A moo-vie
He herd them.
Because of a mooing violation.
I said it’s because it’s pasture bedtime.
Moo outta my way, you cow.
