Reading an online article on Cryptocurrency on The Daily Hodle.

https://preview.redd.it/kdcm2wx0o8q71.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0a8b633d51a7bdb32b28b782ef426a7278c444dd

http://imgur.com/kCgCyOc

This big guy hangs out at my work and apparently he needs a name!

Jingle Jam 2021

Seasons greetings! The Jingle Jam is back for the 11th year with your favourite streams and the biggest and best rewards we’ve ever had!

Over the last 10 years, you guys have raised over $20 million for charities across the world. It’s made an incredible difference to so many lives and we’re really proud and grateful to be doing it again. You can support some brilliant causes and unlock some amazing games at the link below!

Donation page: https://jinglejam.tiltify.com/

Stream link: https://www.twitch.tv/yogscast

Schedule of streams:

Week 1: https://twitter.com/yogscast/status/1465744326705750020

Week 2: [https://twitter.com/yogscast/status/1467847595603202050] (https://twitter.com/yogscast/status/1467847595603202050)

VODs on Yogs Live: https://www.youtube.com/yogscastlive

Highlights for 2021:

• Donate £35 (about $47) and get keys for 56 games!
• Tiltify have built a new system to send out rewards - should be quicker and easier now!
• Combined RRP is over £650 ($875) - which is 50% bigger than last year!
• 100,000 bundles are available - last year we almost sold out so don’t delay!
• 14 different charities to choose from, all worthy causes with unique projects!
• Create your own fundraiser as part of the Jingle Jam and your community can also redeem the rewards for donating! You’ll be able to do this once the page is live on the 1st of December at 5pm (insert link here!).

Games list:

As always, thanks to BlueFishCake.

The Wiki is now the place to find past chapters. Part 1 has been substantially rewritten.

Part 3: Crumb

Chapter 20: Reunion

Sophie picked up the black pistol. A lot of people thought a .38 snub nose revolver was a little old lady’s gun, but she knew better. A Smith and Wesson 642 airweight has an unpleasant kick, especially in hands that were starting to go arthritic. She much preferred the ballast provided by a full-sized Beretta, and the option of a single-action trigger pull helped. Isaac had disappeared; he wouldn’t willingly spend more time in the ice house than he had to. The cold that she was doing her best to ignore weighed heavy on the old man. He had important matters to attend in any case. James was already down the length of the main cavern, and Sophie followed him carefully. He wasn’t in the right frame of mind to do what really needed to be done, but she was, and she didn’t want him to know about it. As she had hoped, he went in after the Shil. That left Alice to her.

James had worked for Isaac for a time and knew the ins and outs of the ice house. Sophie, on the other hand, was surprised when the meat locker was empty except for an armed guard and hanging carcasses. She was more surprised to see that it was Noah sitting vigil, bundled up in blankets and a .22 rifle across his lap. He jumped up when she came in, holding the rifle at port arms, finger safely off the trigger.

“Boy, what the hell are you doing here?” Sophie’s voice was softer than her words would suggest. She walked down the aisle between rows of dressed deer and moose, until she and the young man were eye to eye.

“F-Father says I’m old enough to work, so here I am.” He spoke with all the bravado a teenager could summon, faced by the embodiment of his fear. Sophie just nodded, and patted him on the shoulder.

“Well, if Isaac says you’re ready to carry a gun, it’s not my place to argue.” She pointedly didn’t comment on the bolt-action pea-shooter that had probably last seen action at a Boy Scout camp’s rifle range. It seemed to give the kid some confidence, and that was good enough for her given the circumstances. “I need to talk to that woman, will you take me to her?”

The cold soaked into Alice’s bones. She was starting to think she had made a mistake, traveling so far from her base of power and laying her soul bare to a man she

Prologue

I cannot outrun my crimes. I know that I will be caught one day. I will be tried and punished—in reverse order if the jury is feeling displeased. Until that day, I will keep running. My feet will bleed, my lungs will burn, and I will still run. Perhaps I can escape if I’m clever enough, but I know that’s just wishful thinking.

You may have seen the CEO of the company speaking on the news—a man as big as a moose with a voice as powerful as a howler monkey. You may have heard him say things that worry you and incriminate me. I won't tell you he's a liar, but he's a damn annoying man. What he always neglects to tell you is that I served the public, and without me he would be a dictator instead of a victim. My name is Nathaniel Hensley, and I was—for a brief time—the most wanted man in the world.

The Prototype

Chapter One: Meeting Amahle

The large glass doors swung open without a sound, and I stepped onto the tiled floor of Antler Industries. There was a spacious waiting area that connected to a staircase and three elevators. Everything in the building was made to impress—the ceiling so high a giraffe could run freely. I took a seat at a couch without speaking to anyone. I was comfortable waiting. I had always been patient. I picked up a brochure and began reading. On the first page there was a list of catch-phrases--my favorite of them being 'Robot dreams are made in RAM-sleep.'

"Mr. Hensley, we are so happy to have you here!" the man behind the desk yelled out across the lobby. His voice was high-pitched and happy, which I imagined was a favorable trait for someone of his position. He had a bushy beard and wore a surprisingly expensive suit. I left my seat and walked toward him.

"Happier to see you, Will," I replied. He looked surprised that I knew his name, but I had good enough vision to read the name on the desk.

"Wow, you are just like they said. Here's your pass," he said while handing me a lanyard with a plastic rectangle attached—my name printed in bold. "First I'll show you your office, and then you'll be going up to the fifth floor to meet with the developers. Oh, golly! They are just going to love you," he added cheerfully.

"Thank you, Will. I hope you're right." I put the name tag on and went to the elevator. Will walked with me, his smile never fading. I didn’t mind. In my previous job, people smiled professionally. I suppose he was the same.

Within a minute, I was stepping o

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

Hi everyone! So, I have had the idea for a fantribe called the FireWings in my head ever since I got into WOF a few years ago, but only recently have I actually began to develop them into a fully-fledged tribe with a proper description and all. I wanted to ask for some advice on how to improve my description of the tribe, because, although I have it in my head exactly how these dragons look and act, I'm not sure if I'm writing it out in a proper worldbuilding fashion. Here is what I have down so far:

Physical Characteristics: FireWings are a species descended from SkyWings and NightWings. They have the body shape of a large SkyWing, averaging 12 feet in height, 5 feet in chest width, and 20 feet from snout to tailtip. Their wings are that of a very large NightWing, with an average wingspan of 15 feet when fully outstretched. The talons of a FireWing are around 1.5 feet wide and are incredibly powerful. The horns, claws, back spines, and headplate on a FireWing is generally a black or extremely dark red or orange. The general scale color is a shade of red or orange that ranges from dark to average shade. The underbelly is a lighter shade of the scale color, but is not brighter. A ‘stitch line’ that separates the underbelly is a bright red or orange color. The wing membrane can be a blend of black and red/orange, or it could be a plain black, red, or orange in many shades. A FireWings’ gliding membrane is usually a solid color, and it not being so is usually a sign of infection/defects. A FireWings’ blood is tinted a sharp yellow, and their eyeballs are a yellow color. FireWings may occasionally have star-like patterns on their scales and/or wings, which can be either red, orange, yellow, black, or silver. The eye colors of a FireWing are shades of red, orange, and yellow. FireWing tails are very long, and have a silver, metallic-textured blade at the end, which can occasionally contain venom (when tinted a light red). FireWing eggs usually resemble a blend of all of the colors of the dragonet within, and are usually around 1 foot tall and 0.5 feet wide.

Abilities: FireWings are the fastest fliers out of every tribe, and are capable of reaching speeds of 45mph in natural flight, 70mph in gliding, and upwards of 150mph in a dive. FireWings can also run at speeds upwards of 25mph. The claws of a FireWing are not serrated like that of an IceWing, but are sharp enough to slice through a solid stone. The talon strike of a FireWing is incredibly powerful

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Bob

Other chapters

Part 1: Crust

Chapter 6: Rabbit’s Feet

Rachel came back to the yard from the other side. Robbie and Hamza were still hard at work, though their pace had slowed and they were clearly tiring. She walked towards them, then paused as she passed the spot where the little Shil had fallen. Snow had covered the blood.

Blue blood.

Blood was red because it had iron in it, she thought. But Shil blood wasn’t red. Something on Earth had blue blood, didn’t it? Rachel wracked her brain. Something strange, alien. Not a mammal, but intelligent.

Hamza loved animals. He had read every book they had on animals, and gone searching through their ancient encyclopedia set to read everything it had on any creature he could name.

“Hamza, HAMZA!” Rachel ran towards the children. Robbie looked up and put aside the hammer he had been swinging at the latest oversized log. His eye was nearly swollen shut. Hamza’s lip had stopped bleeding, but the blood had dried on his chin. Rachel cursed herself for not stopping Sophie’s punishment earlier.

“Both of you come inside! I need you!” She sprinted towards the door. The boys left the maul buried in a log and the sledgehammer where it fell. Rachel burst inside, not even bothering to take off her boots, and went straight for the bookshelf which held their set of encyclopedias.

“Hamza, what has blue blood?” Rachel had pulled out the index volume, and was desperately trying to remember the name of the proteins in blood.

Hamza had just come through the door. He stopped, his head tilting back, eyes on the ceiling. After a long moment, he replied. “Horseshoe crabs. And Octopuses. And snails, I think.”

Rachel abandoned the index volume, and pulled ‘Heracles - Horticulture’ out of the shelf. She frantically flipped through. “Hamza, look up the octopus. Robbie, you take snails.” Both boys pulled their assigned volumes and began searching.

Benjamin looked over, nonplussed, taking a break from spoon-feeding broth to the Shil’vati. “What are you doing?”

Rachel did not look up to answer. “Blue blood, Benjamin. The Shil have blue blood, and that bastard is anemic, but that’s for iron, and blood with iron is red. Some things have blue blood because they have something different.”

Benjamin looked at his charge. The Shil’s eyes were half open, and he had barely responded to Benjamin’s attempts to feed him. He put the mug of stock on the

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!

Nothing, it just waved

When I got home, they were still there.

After all his first name is No-vac

"That's what they're fighting about."