What do you call a cow that can't moo?

A milk dud

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brady01234
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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moo-vie?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sailor-x
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Dog 1 - Woof Woof. Dog 2 - Woof Woof. Dog 3 - Moo Moo.

Dog 2 - What in the world is Moo Moo? Dog 3 - I'm learning a foreign language!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Genius_Psycho
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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My wife said these cows are having a threesome. I said, "Wow! A moo-nage a trois!"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaddyRecon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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Moo!
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/preest13
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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Moo!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/preest13
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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What state did the lonely cow moo to?

Cowifornia

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DannyPipeCalling
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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I’ve got a moo-tastic one
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2018
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Why did the chicken say, β€œMeow, oink, bow-wow, moo”?

He was studying foreign languages.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/devilmonkey6
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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What do you call comfortable furniture that says "moo"

Cowch

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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Took my daughter to see some horses, she said "Moo! MOoo!" I said "No, those are horses..."

But she wouldn't take neigh for an answer.

https://i.imgur.com/66ijBh6.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iMacThere4iAm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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Deja Moo

Oh MOOgosh. This might just sound like a load of Bull, but please STEER me out.

Deja Moo (Sung to the tune of Fresh Prince of Bel-air)


Now these are puns all about COWS

Their milk gets flipped, churned all around.

And I’d like to take a minute but I won’t stop and prattle

And tell you this story you haven’t HERD about cattle.


In IstanBULL I was born and BRAISED.

In the pastures back then in my HAYDAYS.

Chewing cud, RUMPING round, and making a fuss.

TANNING out so UDDERLY ridiculous.


When a couple of HEIFERS who had BEEF with me

Started BULLying on my Brand , you see.

I got TIPPED over once and my mom got scared

She said you're MOOvin your behind, your butt, your DAIRY Air.


I whistled for a calf and when it came near

Thought she was a babe, but HE was a STEER!

If anything I can say this STEAK is rare

But that Bovine was BO-FINE so I didn’t care!


I got milked a few times, maybe 7 or 8

More like long-gonehorn, than reliable date.

So I CHUCKED out the udder half of the pasture,

Bevo ain’t a cow, don’t got what I’m after.


Fun fact: a Dairy Cow can produce 125lbs of saliva a day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrazyCasey412
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2016
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Something in the way she moos...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elizabeth72791
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2014
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Moo bitch, get out the way imgur.com/gallery/4WtbGBW…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cjrmartin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2015
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My wife and 2yo were just watching Paw Patrol. There is a cow mooing into a cell phone to video chat with the team to ask for help for a cat stuck on the roof.

I told my wife "That cat would have way more grip on roof shingles and I expect more I realism from talking cartoon cows. This is "UDDERLY" ridiculous."

She may have buried her head and avoided eye contact for a bit. I was proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trich101
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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9yo shared this one with me: What do you call a cow who just had a baby?

De-calf-inated!

Edit: it's been pointed out some people pronounce calf as cālf, so its taking a second. Pronounce it like decaffeinated coffee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oliumzen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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Did you hear about the chicken that mooed?

He was just trying to think outside the bawks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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What happened to the man standing next to a group of mooing cows?

He herd them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Specas-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2017
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I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"

I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."

πŸ‘︎ 22k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArchipelagoMind
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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High quality steak
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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Have you heard about those cow mutilations??

What an udder disaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goudamac
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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Cows that travel alone?

Never herd of them!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrueAidooo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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I saw a mountain with a lot of cows hanging out on it.

Must've been Mount Heiferest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iswitt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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What type of magazines do cows read?

Cattlelogs

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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nay
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bitchyswiftie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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Why do pregnant cows have more energy?

Because they're calfinated

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quixotic_X
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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Knock knock

Who’s there?

Interrupting cow

Interrupting c..

MOO!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClaraLaraMeadie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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Where do Cows get their meds?

Where do Cows get their meds?

At the phar-Moo-cy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_donkenstein_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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What do cows chew.......................................

MOOING GUM.................................................................. My 8 year old told me this and I'm curious as to how many up votes it gets, if you don't like it please down vote without any bad feelings .

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πŸ‘€︎ u/raulmonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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My 3 yr old just cracked me up with this joke as I was putting him to bed

Why did the tree moo?

Because there was a cow stuck in it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whomhead
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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What's a cows favourite destination for a holiday ?

Moo Zealand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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When the moon hits your eye, Like a big pizza pie, That's amore.

When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.

When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.

When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?

When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!

In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.

Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.

A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.

When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.

When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComeAbout
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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What did one sad cow say to the other sad cow?

moo-hoo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vaikaza_6
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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Why couldn't the sailor play cards?

The captain was standing on the deck!

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankXCIV
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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Why did the cow want to be an attorney?

For all the moo law

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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What did the mama cow said to the baby cow?

It's pasture bedtime

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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Outstanding
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knorke3
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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Knock knock

Whose there?

Cow says

Cow says who?

No, cow says moo, dummy

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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What’s the majority of cows religious beliefs?

Moo-slims

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChubChuz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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What does a cow use to hide itself?

Cow-moo-flage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Angelic_Fire
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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I just walked 5 miles, and boy...

... are my calves mooing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiltebeest
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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Do you know they interrupting cow knock knock joke?

Knock Knock / Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting cow whβ€”

Moooooooo!

There should be a Trump version.

Knock knock / Who's there?

Interrupting Trump.

Interrupting Trump whβ€”

Fake moos!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snortkle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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What do you call a loose fitting dress on a cow?

>A MOO MOO!

<<Thanks folks! I'm here all week! Don't forget to tip your cows!>>

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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I told my daughter to go to bed because the cows are sleeping. She asked what’s that go to do with anything..

I said it’s because it’s pasture bedtime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBadMerman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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What did the Cow say to the other cow who was in her way?

Moo outta my way, you cow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Albus_Veritas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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