Apparently there is bi-partisan agreement in Congress that medicinal marijuana should be allowed for the purpose of relieving arthritis pain...

In other words, there is joint support for joint support for joint support...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 224
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2019
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What is it called when you use lumber in Medicinal practice?

Tree-tment

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MDVAME
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 14 2018
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It's medicinal. She's cured.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ShitzFez
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2014
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My wife works in animal medicine and rolled her eyes at me. "Where does a vet who specializes in neutering live?"

A cull-de-sack

πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/waldo06
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20 2021
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There's a medicine you can buy that apparently cures scepticism.

But I'm not buying it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 220
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23 2021
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Why did Dracula take cold medicine?

To stop his coffin.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 54
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2021
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My wife raises animals and also sells medicines

She's a farmercist

(based on a true story)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 94
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ewormPL
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2021
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Given that a case of the sniffles means staying home from school, we give my daughter a daily allergy medicine. My wife was giving her breakfast before school, and when I walked out, I asked if she’d had her medicine yet.

My daughter said yes, and I replied, β€œSo you’re de-Claritin that you’ve had it already?”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bpcombs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 17 2021
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What do you call it when a Mexican man takes medicines for his anxiety

Hispanic attacks his panic attacks

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rhoynar_69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 07 2021
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Did you hear the Journal of Modern Medicine rejected an article about Midol?

The editor said it was not current at all, but more of a period piece!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/noapostrophe555
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2020
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My ADHD medicine comes in a case shaped like a 3-sided polygon where each side is the same size, and the pills are distributed uniformly.

It's an equal Adderall triangle.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2020
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Don't you think Gonorrhoea would be a great name for Diarrhea medicine?

No shit!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 103
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HydrosFear
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2020
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My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."

"A TOE TRUCK!!??"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 261
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2021
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I started practicing complementary medicine.

You are really smart!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2020
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I made a medicine using ducks that can cure cancer...

That’s quackery!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PhCuber05
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2020
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Medicine

Where do fish go to get medicine The pharmasea

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EnderJrack
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2020
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In Greek Mythology, Chiron was not only half man and half horse, he was also a doctor of medicine

That made him the centaur for disease control

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/billyboogie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 27 2020
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My wife and I went to the Museum of Medicine and we were browsing the exhibits...

Wife: "Look, they used to treat pain with willow bark".

Me: "I'll give that one 3 stars".

Wife: "This one is about the invention of antibiotics".

Me: "I'll give it 8 out of 10".

Wife: "Apparently, they used give people cowpox to protect them from smallpox".

Me: "Definitely 2 thumbs up".

Wife: "Why do you keep doing that?".

Me: "I'm the curator of this museum"!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2020
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Instead of medicine, my hippie girlfriend cured her hemorrhoid using only the "power of positive suggestion."

"I shit you knot."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2020
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They say laughter is the best medicine but where do you get it?

The ha-spital.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 101
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheMightyBattleSquid
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2020
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My dad is getting too old for a medicine cabinet.

Now he has a drug attic

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RDS327
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2020
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What Do You Call a Type of Medicine That You’re Related To?

Antacid

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrGeekman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 28 2020
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You know what would’ve been a good name for a diarrhea medicine?

Gonorrhea

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dc2k4
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 02 2020
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My dog just got chipped

she's now a cybork

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Deivv
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2021
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Decided on a career change, from the kitchen to medicine. Didn’t last long though.

Turns out that thyme doesn’t heal all wounds.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 18 2020
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How does Vanna White take her constipation medicine?

Via bowel.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MBTHVSK
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2020
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My medicine makes me depressed

It's a sadative.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/refward
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2020
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Did you hear about the new topical birth control medicine?

They’re calling it Sonblock.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chibiachika
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 04 2020
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Viagra is the worst medicine for depression.

Because everything will get only harder.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mrokraj
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2019
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When I first heard of gonorrhea...

I thought it was an anti-diarrhea medicine.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fonz136
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16 2021
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Actual conversation today. My wife: "i'm tired of anaesthesiology. What other area of medicine should I try?" /r/Jokes/comments/g6zr2k/…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/austin29684
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24 2020
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Why did the little boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

Because he heard there were sleeping pills in there.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/leftonasournote
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 04 2020
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My pharmacist asked how my medication was flavored.

So I gave him a taste of his own medicine.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Specialist_Bowl3481
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 22 2021
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What is the medicine vampires takes when sick ?

A coffin mixture !

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lochltar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2019
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What happens, when a doctor catches a disease, that he already found the cure for?

He gets a taste of his own medicine.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/David_Umann
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12 2020
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Blood and Organ related puns please

So a colleague is leaving my work (transfusion medicine lab) to work as an information manager for the organ transplant service. I make cards and I’m trying to think up something punny to write on/in his card and I’ll paint a picture on the front for context. I was thinking like β€œbloody good luck” or β€œsorry you’re transplanting”... but less shitty!

Thanks in advance :)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Massive-Lock-6048
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2021
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How many jokes about medicine does it take before people get sick of them?

Over dos

πŸ‘οΈŽ 76
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rooner_Spism
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 21 2019
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Baguette medicine is what I need
πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Chaotician1980
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2019
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Tonight, my daughter assisted me in hanging a new medicine cabinet.

Me: I think I measured wrong. The toggle bolts aren't lining up with the darned holes. Man, I really screwed this up.

Her: Did you........make a pun?

Me: concentrating on the task at hand Huh?

Her: Never mind.

Me: gets it Ha! No, but that's awesome! "Screwed" it up. Ha! You're a PunMaster!

Her: You're a dork.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GTFOakaFOD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 12 2019
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My schizophrenia medicine is really messing with me...

and me and me and me and me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tinsins
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 08 2019
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If you looked into my medicine cabinet...

...you would assume I have very conflicting views on biotics.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/peterjswift
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 24 2019
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Just when I thought medicine had gone to the dogs...
πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/qbedo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24 2018
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What is Halloween's favorite medicine?

Any brand of coffin cold.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VenomousPrime2017
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 31 2019
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Apparently there is bi-partisan agreement in Congress that medicinal marijuana should be allowed for the purpose of relieving arthritic pain.

In other words, there is joint support for joint support for joint support.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2018
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Where do fish go to get medicine

the pharmasea

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lsgkiwi_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2020
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Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine
πŸ‘οΈŽ 31k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/daugarten
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20 2018
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In Greek mythology, Chiron was half man, half horse. He had knowledge and wisdom in medicine.

You could say he was the centaur for disease control

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jxwtf585
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2020
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