My girlfriend thought it would be funny to replace my medicated shampoo with regular shampoo. I tried to understand why it was funny, but

the joke just left me scratching my head.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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Ah yes medical pun (putting the actual joke in the title would kinda ruin it all ngl)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrevAccountBanned
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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[Request] Hospital/Medical Puns

r/puns I am calling on you in time of great need! My friend is going off to a hospital to do some work experience for 2 weeks and he needs all the hospital/medical puns that r/puns can muster!

Any and all suggestions relating to hospitals would be greatly appreciated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iimalteaserii
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2013
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I found this medical pun way too funny.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wanderingwalrus21
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2016
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Why did the Mexican take anti anxiety medication

For Hispanic attacks

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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After Orville and Wilbur’s first horrific and fatal plane-accident leaving their remains scattered on the tarmac, the chief medical examiner approaching what was left of them simply asked:

β€œAre you all Wright?!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fadedmemento
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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What kind of fish has a medical degree?

A Sturgeon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fran_385
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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What the medical term for owning to many dogs?

A roverdose

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Canadbis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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Did you know that Dogs, regardless of breed, cannot operate complex medical equipment?

Cats can.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckinWimp87
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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They've been experimenting with adding rodent DNA to pet medication.

After all, what cat wouldn't want to take his pills if they tasted really mice?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainCrazy110
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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I believe instead of 911 or 112, in case of a medical emergency you should call 12345678

Because that's the proper First Aid number

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sjoeqie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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My pharmacist asked how my medication was flavored.

So I gave him a taste of his own medicine.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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Why can’t your orthodontist release any of your medical information?

That information is strictly confidental

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sal4Sale
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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I remember when Viagra was the only hard-on medication...

Nowadays there seems to be a lot of stiff competition.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeaDawger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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What do medical insurance companies call an elective procedure?

A splurgery.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nathan_w
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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Tragic news! Bruce Willis has died while on viagra medication.

He died hard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Arthur24
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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New medication created. Reduces swelling but makes you swear.

Ibuprofane

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toilet_King_101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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I got a fake medical ID made to get the COVID vaccine, but I was rejected

It was worth a shot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/inTRONet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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My job is to deliver medication to chickens and cows etc...

I'm a farm assist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carts614
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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What do you call a canine with a medical PhD?

A dog'tor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Diabetes medication has a profit margin close to 1000%

Now that's just Insul(t)in'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFillywonk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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A doctor is giving medical treatment when a nurse comes in saying that they need the doctor in another room. The nurse told the guy getting medical treatment to wait.

He waited patiently.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noqms
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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Did you guys hear about the deli at the medical research clinic?

I guess they successfully cured cancer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jewlius_Ceizure
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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I failed my medical school entrance exam last week, thanks to nerves.

The correct answer was blood vessels.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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Inmates at HMP Manchester are refusing to eat the Moroccan spiced chicken dish they're given every Friday, claiming it is being used to secretly medicate them with aggression-suppressants hidden in the sauce.

That sounds to me like one of those cons' piri piri theories.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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What do you call a panda medic?

A pandemic

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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There’s this new medication that makes people brave, but reckless.

It’s called Risketall

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πŸ‘€︎ u/One-Angry-Goose
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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Why are so many medical examiners hired on January 1st?

It's always, "New Year, new ME"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elnateo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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Did you hear there is a new medication for diarrhoea?

It will not be out for a while, as it is still in testin!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SteadyingRuck
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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What do you call a medical fish?

Sturgeon general

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToxicSamurai
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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Where does a cardiologist go on holiday?

vagus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lawsonator85
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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I just learned the medical name for Viagra

Mycoxaflopin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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When I have expensive medical bills -

Does that mean I had a valuable experience?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plausibl3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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I was prescribed medication but couldn't take it. It was impossible to get that damn lid off...

You might have heard of it. It's called Tryopenin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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I have a medical journal joke

But it’s still under review

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Why are orthodontists the most divine of all medical practitioners?

Cuz they're trancen-dental.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mighty_alicorn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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What’s a proctologist’s favorite medication?

Ass-pirin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoctorMasterBates
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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What do you call medical professionals who don't feed their patients after an overnight stay in the hospital?

Doctors without boarders.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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I didn't mean to take too much of my anxiety medication

It was Xanax-ident

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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What is a cannibal's favourite medical drama?

Graze Anatomy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Idle_Giant
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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So my wife is getting some medical tests done (we’re expecting our second child) and had to bring home a urine sample cup to fill up and bring back to the clinic the next day.

She asks me to bring it drop it off at the lab for her and I ask, β€œwhere do I drop it off?”

She says, β€œGo in the front door and there’s a little desk that you -β€œ

β€œDon’t you mean a LITTLE STOOL!?”

... I hope you guys enjoy that as much as I did. True story happened today!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gorhckmn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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What do seals do when they need medical attention?

Sea kelp

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNeutralParty
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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How do Dutch doctors prescribe medications?

In windmilligrams

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyDelicious
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal pain.

Somebody had ripped the appendix out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Mexican take anti-anxiety medication?

For hispanic attacks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonathanWickers
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication.

It’s for Hispanic attacks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrTomatoHead
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication

It's for Hispanic attacks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_L_v_e_S
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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