What's your best out-loud pun?

I've read a lot of puns that work based on reading them, but what's your favorite spoken pun?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wondermotion
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2017
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Do they allow loud laughs in Hawaii?

Or just a low ha?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bryanBr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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There’s no loud laughing permitted in Hawaii.

Just a low ha.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rob_Haggis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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When visiting Hawaii, you're not allowed to laugh out loud.

Only a low ha.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaceAltair
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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My wife and I were woken up at 3am by loud banging on our door. I got up, opened the door and there was a drunken stranger standing in the pouring rain, asking for a push. "Are you insane man?!!? It's 3 in the morning!!" I screamed, slamming the door and stormed back to bed...

"Who was that?" asked my wife.

"Just some drunk asking for a push." I grumbled.

"Did you help him?" she asked.

"No, I did NOT! It's 3am and it's pouring rain!"

"Well, you've a short memory." she said. "Don't you remember three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself! Now get out there and help him!"

She had a point, and angrily, I got dressed and went out into the darkness, calling out, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes."

"Do you still need a push?"

"Yes please."

"Where are you?"

"Over here...on the swing."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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In the French Court of Louis XIV, going to the bathroom happened all over the place, but loud farting was really stigmatized. So people experiencing gas had to rush to a specifically appointed room called the...

Toot Suite

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xrayhearing
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Do Hawaiians laugh loudly?

Or is it just a low ha?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/das_bic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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Kid: farts loudly

Dad: β€œ what does your mother feed you?” Mom:” The same thing I feed you!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Riverrat423
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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My gf complained about our loud neighbours

Me: Then be as loud as them, it will cancel each other out

Gf: what kind of logic is that?

Me: Sound logic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sanscipher435
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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Why do court room stenographers talk loudly?

Because they’re hearing aides!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/schnaffoo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Did you hear Hawaii has banned loud laughter?

Yeah, especially when using the same recycled joke 50 million times.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nyrfankt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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If Dan could yell very loud

how loud would Daniel?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmBeeCSGO
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Snores loudly and car careens off road
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πŸ‘€︎ u/holxino
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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Don’t expose yourself to loud frequencies for too long...

Trust me, it Hz.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitchinatr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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My neighbor is playing very loud music

It a noise me!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BowelMovementator
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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My neighbors always play Lionel Richie very loudly and usually I don't mind.....

But yesterday it was All Night Long

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dirtweed_dude
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Loud noises.

They're ear-ritating.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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Every time my dad goes to the eye doctor, they ask him to read the smallest text on the chart out loud.

He says, "Printed in China."

This is a true story lol.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BasementGrowNerd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What is fast, loud, and crunchy?

A rocket chip!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Genin-Jenin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
what do you call a loud dog?

A sub-woofer.

(Inspired by boy, GSD, I lost last year)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pissfat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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My son ate too much Easter candy one year, and threw it all up making loud wailing sounds as he did so.

I didn't want to hear another Peep out of him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a rather unknown Greek myth that involved Zeus farting so loudly that it caused powerful lightning storms all over Greece. Panic and chaos ensued, and there was widespread looting as fires raged out on control.

Thus began the Zeus Toot Riots.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hollowbody57
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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My head lice are playing music out loud

Must be in my hair band

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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Every morning I announce loudly to my family that I’m going jogging, but then don’t go.

It’s a running joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titsonafish
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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What do you call 2 guys tied up and stuck in a window?

Kurt and Rod

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greenthegreen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Whales can’t stand loud noises.

In fact they cannot stand at all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yoav-bam
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the sushi say to the bee?

Wasabi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DCUB3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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My dad was an organ player at basketball games, one time something got stuck on the organ and it made such a loud sound he sadly died.

The death was listed as β€œorgan failure”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/benyou34
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Got myself a new dog, with a low, loud and resonant bark.

Going to call him Sub-woofer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/denandbil
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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The Secretary of State will be Biden's first confirmed Cabinet member.

After all, the Republicans can't say no to A. Blinken!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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My friend likes to cause a scene by going up to his loft and playing the bongos very loudly.

It was a little drum attic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
A group of crows is called a murder, but what do you call a group of really loud crows?

A caw-CAW-phony.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeabaSquad
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend named his loud dog Forrest

Because he has a lot of bark!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coberh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?

Or just a low ha.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLoveRaviolis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I got banned from Hawaii for having a loud laugh

All they accept is a low ha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/solanimus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughing in hawai

Or just a low ha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJonesy007
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?

Or is it just a low ha?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/suktupbutterkup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii

Or a low-ha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Golfcourseboi6969
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?

Or is it just a low ha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Candidate_035
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know people aren't allowed to laugh out loud in Hawaii?

They are only allowed a low ha.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matdave
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii

or is it just.... A Low Ha?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HairlineGod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Do Hawaiians laugh out loud?

Or is it just a low ha?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redditorhowie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?

Or just a low ha?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughing Hawaii..

Or is it just a low ha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/archiewalton09
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What's fast, loud and crunchy ?

A rocket chip

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report

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