Meretricious Puns

Every boyfriend I’ve ever had.

Let's be honest most viewers had to Google it (my phone couldn't even suggest the word for me as I typed and wouldn't have autocorrected if I'd misspelled it). However it's such a great word I think a lot of us will be adding it to our vocab, even unironically

[merəˈtriSHəs]

Adjective

: apparently attractive but having in reality no value or integrity.

: relating to or characteristic of a prostitute. archaic

I.e. meretricious basically comes from saying prostitutes are seemingly attractive but lack values or integrity.

Not here to hate on prostitutes—just thought the word had an interesting origin!

meretricious

adjective: Of or pertaining to prostitutes; wanton; libidinous.

adjective: Alluring by false attractions; having a gaudy but deceitful appearance; tawdry; showy: as, meretricious dress or ornaments.

Word of the day Provided by : wordnik

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Flair should be working but if it isn't poke it with a stick, then add me here. Keys are valued at 2.66 ref. I've included reasons why you should buy these items, clearly if these don't tide you over you are a heartless hatless man with a heart of steel.

Sight for Sore Eyes - 1 key + 1 ref / 3.66 ref SOLD

> Fool your enemies into thinking you're adorable, cute and innocent until they are suddenly faced with the nozzle of a working flamethrower.

Bubble Pipe [uncraft] - 2.33 ref SOLD

> If you want to be a true gentleman a mere taped-on mustache and goatee will not suffice. No, you will need a pipe to smoke while casually burning people left and right. This hat doesn't just include a pipe, its protective glass casing will make sure you look like a fish will look distinguished everywhere, whether it's on land, underwater, or IN SPACE. The glass is also isolating, so don't leave this hat on for too long or you'll slowly cook yourself. On the upside, at least you'll look very distinguished while getting slow-cooked, so it might be worth it.

Team Captain [uncraft] - 1.5 keys / 4 ref SOLD

> With this hat everyone will know you're the CAPTAIN of this bunch of ragtags, and they are going to damn well LISTEN to you, yesSIR! Beyond turning you from a random nobody into a MAN with AUTHORITY, this hat also looks so good it will turn the ugliest faces into supermodels. Yes, even YOU! Have faith in this fine piece of headgear. It's well worth the investment, especially as it's supplied with variations for three different classes, so that's basically three hats - for the price of one!

Balloonicorn - 2 keys / 5.33 ref

> The Balloonicorn is like a dog, except much better. Actually, once you've gotten a Balloonicorn, you'll never want any other pets again. It will follow you anywhere and even guard your corpse like the loyal companion it is. It won't, however, beg for food (you'll save money EVERY DAY!) or for games of catch (noone's got time for that when fighting). Better yet, we know for a fact the Balloonicorn enjoys all the gruesome murders you commit, and he's usually on a hair trigger because of copious amounts of alcohol and caffeine so if one of your enemies so much as LOOKS wrongly at him he'll gladly assist in killing them. See, Balloonicorn is not just better than a pet, he's also better and more useful than most of your teammates! Invest today in one of these am

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Preface: Not diagnosed, and won’t be for a while (some details on one of my previous posts).

Does anyone else have a strong affinity for words? I LOVE learning new words, and even have two dictionaries typed on google docs in my chromebook (one has over 400 words). One is for all sorts of words, and one is for archaic words (I like writing historical fiction).

Some of my favorite words:

Selcouth Avarice (or avaricious) Blasé Cacophony Cantankerous Desultory Effervescent Facetious (LOVE this one) Hubristic Groveling Idiosyncratic Illecebrous (another great one) Adroit Mercurial Meretricious

I even have them all in alphabetical order in my dictionaries. I have a similar liking for names, though not to the same extent. I know this is probably really weird, but I just love words and wonder if anyone else does!

Do your worst!

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

meretricious

undefined: Of or pertaining to prostitutes; wanton; libidinous.

undefined: Alluring by false attractions; having a gaudy but deceitful appearance; tawdry; showy: as, meretricious dress or ornaments.

Word of the day Provided by : wordnik