Lining up for blocks
π︎ 6k
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︎ Jun 07 2020
I got kicked out of the park for lining squirrels up by height...
They said I was too critter-sizing
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︎ Oct 23 2020
ASTROLOGY.... Because millions of stars and planets have spent billions of years lining themselves up....
....just to let her know, that "she'll meet someone with nice eyes today."
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︎ Nov 06 2020
If I ever lose my leg in an accident, donβt think Iβm lining up a proposal
Iβm just always down on one knee
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︎ Aug 26 2020
Between the free falling stock markets, the Covid 19 pandemic, and locusts in Africa, there is one silver lining.
At least tomorrow isnβt Friday the thirteen... yikes!
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︎ Mar 13 2020
An innocent father was prosecuted for lining his kids up and beating them with his bare hands.
"There was no punchline, your honor."
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︎ May 23 2019
What do you call the soft tissue lining the area between a sharks teeth?
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︎ Jan 08 2019
I have a steroid addiction, but there is one silver lining.
It has only made me stronger.
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︎ May 20 2018
Dad's really proud of this one. "What do you call a group of barbies lining up for a sausage?"
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︎ Dec 27 2014
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 16 2017
Need a pun having to do with Karo Syrup for a good cause!
A friend called as I was walking out the door this morning and said she found out yesterday afternoon that she has breast cancer. She knows when I leave and timed it that way because she couldn't handle a long conversation. Bread dipped in Karo is her big comfort food, so I am wanting to pick some up with a loaf of bread and leave it along with a note by her door.
I want the note to be happy/upbeat and figured what's better than a one line pun. Problem is, I am stuck. (see what I did there?)
π︎ 2
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︎ Sep 06 2017
This is my best pick-up line
π︎ 571
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︎ Jan 12 2021
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?
π︎ 12k
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︎ Nov 24 2020
If thereβs a line of gay people, itβs not a straight line...
π︎ 1k
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︎ Dec 14 2020
William Shatner has discontinued his line of ladies lingerie.
Apparently Shatner panties was a poor choice of name.
π︎ 15k
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︎ Oct 13 2020
Did you know, if you took out your brain, and laid every neuron out in a line . . .
π︎ 22
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︎ Feb 03 2021
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
Sadly, only a fraction of people will get this joke
π︎ 228
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Just called the tinnitus help line...
But, it just kept ringing.
π︎ 48
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".
π︎ 13k
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︎ Sep 22 2020
I'm fine with alcohol and weed, but cocaine is where I draw the line !
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 16 2021
So if you're in line for Pho are you in the
π︎ 18
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︎ Jan 13 2021
Went to GameStop to use the bathroom, but it was out of order...
I guess I have to keep holding it.
π︎ 12k
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︎ Jan 30 2021
I gave some dude the money I'd saved to to buy bushes to line my property. I'd introduce you, but
my hedge fund manager hates reddit.
π︎ 10
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︎ Feb 03 2021
Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same
π︎ 19k
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︎ Jan 04 2021
A slice of key line pie in Jamaica is 2.75, while a slice in the Bahamas is 3.50.
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 26 2021
Hi Red Squiggly Line, I'm Dad!
Child: Dad, can I rely on autocorrect?
Me: Definately
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 22 2021
I need help following up with this pun, this is a video about a scientist giving a lecture about fire, I canβt think of any more other than pun-ch line
π︎ 24
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Impossible Foods is introducing a new line of Edible Plant based Panties.
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 02 2021
Thereβs a fine line between a secret
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 23 2021
Donβt know how to properly share with this but I have included the name of the original, most people didnβt get it(third line)
π︎ 41
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︎ Dec 18 2020
My sister has been reading game of thrones and she really liked the line "the sound of steel on steel"
So she decided to steel it
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 31 2020
If I put a bunch of iron in a line
π︎ 18
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︎ Jan 07 2021
The little girl lined her dolls up at the cookout.
π︎ 40
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︎ Dec 20 2020
The Vietnamese restaurant was very rude about the long line they had tonight...
...it was a big Phα» queue.
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 09 2021
I don't understand why some people use fractions instead of decimals.
π︎ 5k
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Not many know this, but in 1972 Bozo The Clown released a fragrance line.
It didn't sell very well.
People thought it smelled funny.
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 05 2021
What kind of watercraft go in a line?
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 02 2021
My wife didnβt like my idea to market a line of belts with little clocks built into the buckle.
She said it was a waist of time.
π︎ 16
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Itβs a barbie queue
π︎ 3k
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︎ Dec 21 2020
What does the 50 yard line and a toilet have in common?
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 27 2020
Why did the power line not go to prom?
π︎ 13
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︎ Nov 15 2020
What did Velveeta call their new line of designer brand cheese?
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 03 2020
π€£ππ
π︎ 5k
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︎ Nov 13 2020
A man drew a line in the middle of himself to prove a point...
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 01 2020
What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut?
This joke actually has two answers:
A Hairline or A Barbecue (barber-que)
π︎ 10
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︎ Dec 04 2020
No joke includes a punchline about the maginot line
I guess it's easier to go around it
Edit: typo
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you.
π︎ 46
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︎ Nov 02 2020
There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
Only a fraction of you will understand that
Edit: I see this joke has been quite divisive! Thank you to everyone who made this joke a thousand times better in the comments, you're all amazing, and thank you for the awards!
π︎ 12k
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︎ Apr 01 2020
Just called the tinnitus help line...
π︎ 52
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︎ Feb 03 2021
The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line.
Only a fraction of people will understand this
π︎ 115
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︎ Dec 15 2020
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?
π︎ 37
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︎ Dec 12 2020
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