An iron deficiency.
My shirts still need ironing...
With my irony-ng board.
Talk about headline news
The Ironing Board.
On the nose, but I just made it up. At least I have never heard it before.
An irony board.
Because they spend all day smelling that dairy-air.
Because it wasn’t getting enough iron.
The lady said, "hardback?" I replied, "yes, with little wrinkled heads"
He had an iron deficiency
If they were small, white, and smooth they would be aspirin.
I watched it all unfold.
Doctor: Your clothes are all wrinkled.
She was very irony.
I mean, it's been making a LOT of head lines.
I don't think it works though... I didn't get any younger. In fact, I got more wrinkly!
Doctor: Your shirt is all wrinkled.
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody even raises an eyebrow.
St. Peter was guarding the Pearly Gates, waiting for new souls coming to heaven. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. "Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?"
"Sure," replied Jesus. "What do I have to do?"
"Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven."
"Sounds easy enough. OK."
So Jesus manned the gates for St. Peter. The first person to approach the gates was a wrinkled old man. Jesus summoned him to sit down and sat across from him. Jesus peered at the old man and asked, "What did you do for a living?"
The old man replied, "I was a carpenter."
Jesus remembered his own earthly existence and leaned forward. "Did you have any family?" he asked.
"Yes, I had a son, but I lost him."
Jesus leaned forward some more. "You lost your son? Can you tell me about him?"
"Well, he had holes in his hands and feet."
Jesus leaned forward even more and whispered... keep reading on reddit ➡
We're unpacking our bags on our cruise ship. I complain that all my clothes are wrinkled and there's no ironing board in the cabin. She replies:
"Don't worry. Everyone here's in the same boat."
She was already starting to laugh before she stopped talking.
He sighed, “Your shirt is all wrinkled.”
Just raisin awareness.
He's been practicing for this role for months. He goes down to the opera house on the day of the audition, only to find he's come down with a sore throat and can't hit his notes anymore. In a panic, he asks one of the directors if they can postpone his audition.
"I'm sorry," says the director, "but we can't delay an audition for just one performer. That would set a bad precedent. Instead, I'll let you in on a little opera house secret." The director pours the man a cup of warm, smelly liquid. "Drink this. It's a special tea to help your throat. The recipe has been passed down for decades in this opera company, and I guarantee it will make you able to sing again."
The man wrinkles up his nose and takes a swig. "Euch! This is... awful! What's in this tea anyways?"
"Well, it's a secret herbal tea blend made with... well... fish broth." The director replies. "Tuna, specifically. We've found it helps soothe the throat better than any other fish we've tried."
Sure enough the man is abl... keep reading on reddit ➡
All my clothes have wrinkles !
I saw a white, fluffy thing swinging through my local cake shop. Suspect it was a meringue-utang.
I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, “Do you want a lift”. “No thanks”, they replied, “We’re Walkers”.
I was in a cake shop the other day, they were all £5 apart from one that was £10. I asked why it was so expensive, the shop owner said “that’s maderia cake”.
Bought some cream, it said “store in a cool place”. So I left it in the Doctor Who studios.
Local ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
I used to love doughnuts, but I got bored of the whole thing.
A man says “I keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the other”. The doctor says “I’m afraid you are a trifle deaf”.
I bought a waffle iron the other day. Get really annoyed with wrinkled wa... keep reading on reddit ➡
Wife: "Look at my hands. They're getting wrinkles. I'm old. I bet my ovaries are just shriveling up as we speak."
Me: "I don't know, I think you're...ovary-acting."
Wife: [long pause and sigh] "I deserved that..."
I was teaching about naming ionic compounds and said that "we have one more wrinkle to go through, so take a look at this example with iron" and one girl started cracking up. I didn't understand why so she said we had to iron the wrinkle!
My mom is disabled and we have to bathe her on a regular basis so today after we'd cleaned her up I asked:
Me: "So how do you feel? Like a million dollars?"
Mom: "Yeah, green and wrinkled."
Why is an elephant big, gray and wrinkled?
Because if it was small, pink and puckered it would be an ass hole.
Like what the fuck?
... when a girl walked up and asked for a cheeseburger. She paid with $8 cash as she said, "Sorry it's wrinkled." "That's OK," said the cashier, "It won't be once I launder it."
Dad: Why is your shirt so wrinkled?
Me: I must be depressed.