So God was talking to one of his Angels. He said “I’ve created 24 hours of alternating lightness and darkness in earth”. The Angel said “What are you going to do now?” ...
“Oh I think I’ll call it a day” God replies.
I told my son, look the church has locked up the door and turned off their lights. He said, what's that got to do with anything? I said well,...
What did God do after he created a 24 hour period of alternating light and darkness?
How many mexicans does it need to change a light bulb ?
How many dyslexics does it take to change a light bulb?
How many fire flies does it took too screw in a light bulb?
No one knows exactly, but it takes a lot. They aren't that bright.
Did you hear about that dumb movie about two light bulbs?
It is called dim and dimmer
Where does bad light end up?
My coworkers are like christmas lights,
Half of them dont work and the other half arent that bright.
What did the green light say to the red light?
How many disappointed dads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How would I know? You’ve made me the proudest dad alive.
Did you hear that a car full of garlic, ginger, and lemongrass ran a red light in the middle of the city, injuring tens of people?
It was a fragrant disregard for public safety.
3 men were in a boat with 4 cigarettes, but nothing to light them with.
So they threw one overboard and the boat became a cigarette lighter.
Finally learnt how to separate my washing into lights and darks...
Turns out there can be a bit of a grey area
what's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb
Yesterday I changed a light bulb, crossed the street and walked into a bar.
I heard thunder nearby, so I ran around and turned on all the lights.
When kids asked me why, I said "where's there's thunder, there's lighting!"
Why does the president stop at the traffic light?
Because he's a Law A 'Biden' citizen
This is what being American is all about. Second Amendment Lights.
The barman says, “Sorry, we don’t serve faster-than-light particles in here.”
A faster-than-light particle walks into a bar.
Just looking for a light snack...
In light of his record with these mega-projects, Elon Musk's proposed new Miami-tunnel gives new meaning to the term
"car-pool tunnel syndrome."
Last light I seen a drunk couple weaving all over the street
I thought ‘honestly, get a loom’.
You are lost in winter but find a cabin. You find it has a fireplace, a kerosene lamp and a stove, but you only have one match. What item in the cabin do you light first?
Why do redditors never have their settings on light mode?
Well, we aren't the brightest people
When a light goes out, it's best to call the whole family.
Because many hands make light work.
Why did The Joker have to sleep with his lights on?
Because he was afraid of the Dark Knight.
—
My 9yr old son just told me this 🤪
When God lights a cigarette....
Is it with a match made in Heaven ?
What's blue and not very heavy?
Where was Moses when the lights went out?
In the dark.
My dad literally just said this to me, so I felt it was appropriate to post.
My Grandad always used to say ‘many hands make light work’
Awesome Grandad, rubbish Electrician
Ebay is so useless
I searched for lighters but ti only came up whith 14,852 matches
What do you call a blimp wrapped in Christmas lights?
The pessimist sees a dark tunnel. The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel. The realist sees a freight train.
The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
I saw an ambulance with the lights on at the local mechanics today.
Guess they needed an emergency service.
Will glass coffins ever be popular?
I have always been a light eater...
When it gets light, I start eating.
My 7 year old, gazing in wide eyed wonder asked, "Is the Aurora Borealis heavy?"
I said, "No, it's pretty light. "
362 days until Christmas and people already have their lights up...
Seriously guys. Take your Christmas lights down.
Christmas was literally last year.
Just took down my icicle lights..
Now my hands are frozen..
A big light switch is a major turn-on
3 men are stuck on a boat with 4 cigarettes, but nothing to light them with.
They throw one over board and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
What did God do after creating a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness of Earth?
What did the Red light say to the Green light?
Don't look at me I'm changing!
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
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