Then I guess this is just another average post.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef
What do you call it when a cow jumps on a trampoline? Milkshake
That cow then jumped over a barbed wire fence. It was udder devastation.
I know, I really milked it.
"--A tractor."
I heard he’s pissed.
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Magic beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? What’s so magical about it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, flies around the building, then finally returns to his seat with a triumphant smile.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Lemme try some of that!” The man grabs the beer. He downs it, leaps off the roof —and plummets 15 stories to the ground.
The bartender shakes his head. “You know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”
So when we ask him how he's doing, his answer is "It's on the syllabus".
She walked up to me, hands behind her back..
"Check it out, dad! This is really funny looking!"
"What? Lemme see..."
And the little shit holds up a mirror to my face, giggling her head off.
Payback is a bitch, little girl....
He's a small arms dealer.
I'm rial-ly developing a respectable collection, lemme tell ya!
It was a hare-y situation, lemme tell ya.
