Just gonna leaf this here
My girlfriend says if we don’t get married soon, she’s gonna kill me.
...it’s a matter of wife or death.
Gonna milk this one for all its worth
Got me for a second not gonna lie
What's the Kraken gonna give you that'll make you laugh uncontrollably?
I made a long version of are wii gonna have a problem
what ya gonna cry or somthin?
This joke is gonna bomb
Where can you find weapons of mass destruction in Walmart?
In aisle 8
I'm gonna start a German themed donut shop.
Any investors interested in backing Gluten Morgen?
Pretty proud of that one.
He's gonna reach there one way or an otter
I was gonna make a joke about knives
But I didn’t think it would cut it.
I have a plan for a new side-hustle. I’m gonna do personal training for members of the band that recorded ‘Lola’ and ‘You Really Got Me’. It’s a good plan...
I just have to work out a few Kinks.
Just gonna leave this here...
Are physical puns a thing here? I'm just gonna leave this here
I always wanted to keep my wisdom teeth but I just went to the dentist and it looks like they're gonna have to be removed
To be honest this is pretty demolarizing
I'm gonna rennet through you!
Our dog has been a little under the weather so we took him in for a checkup. The vet picked him up, studied him for a bit, sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to put him down." Tears welling in my eyes I sputtered, "Why!? What's wrong with him?"
The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"
what do you call a tree that will never give you up, never let you down, never gonna run around and desert you?
They're gonna sell corn on the cob at the Super Bowl, and it's rumored to be cheap.
Im gonna tell my kids that the Titanic was carrying a lot of mayonnaise
And that it sunk on the 5th of May which is why we commemorate the Sinko de Mayo
Im gonna make a joke about a hoe girlfriend.
Shit, never mind the thought left me.
I was gonna tell a story about my buddies jogging club,
But it's just a running joke among friends
I was gonna say i joke about girlfriends
But i was like nah you wouldn't get it.
You had me in the first half, not gonna lie.
I was gonna tell a joke about copper
But i Cu are not interested
came up with this when i was seven so its gonna suck
Baby pirate: *poops*
Captain: Arrrgh who pooped
Baby Pirate: Aye Aye
I was gonna make a gay joke
That’s gonna leave a mark...
My girlfriend said she was gonna cut her hair in a mullet...
I hate mullets and I told her if she did I was gonna grow a rat-tail as payback
She said, “You can’t!”
“I will!”
“But that’s rat-tail-iation!”
PS: this actually happened and I’m in love with her
Son: “I’m gonna take the dog for a walk”
Dad: “ok great. Collar. Leash.”
Son: “no dad. Call her sparky!”
So proud of my son for coming up with this on the spur of the moment!
We should have known this year was gonna suck. We were never gonna end the year as winners. The writing was on the wall. At the end of the year, we should have known we'd be facing the truth-
My sister in law told me a time traveling joke I was gonna share with ya all..
I swear stairs are gonna be my d o w n fall, the way they keep s t a i r i n g at me...
The guy that invented the umbrella was gonna call it the brella.
I was gonna tell a time-traveling joke.
But you guys didn’t like it.
Heard the 10th Fast and The Furious movie is gonna be about car safety
Working title is called Fast 10: Your Seatbelt
Pretty stoked it's the weekend! Gonna relax and get drunk hans style...
I was gonna make a chemistry joke
But all the good ones Argon
Everyone keeps saying that after the election there's gonna be a civil war. I disagree.
There's gonna be a Trumper Tantrum
I was gonna make a joke about grains
But it was a little corny
I was gonna make a joke about diplomas
But i was like nah you wouldnt get it.
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