And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.”
But John came fifth - and won a toaster.
I’ve been watching the John Wayne Gacy documentary series on Peacock. Really creepy and fascinating. Surprisingly, despite being a cannibal murderer, he was a stickler for etiquette.
Anyone who arrived late to one of his dinner parties received a cold shoulder.
Police chief: "Why did you arrest Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, B. J. Novak, and Ed Helms?"
Deputy: "They were impersonating an office, sir."
Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
John-Paul, Georgian Ringo.
What did Paul McCartney say when he met John’s new girlfriend?
Ono, Ono, Ono no no no...
Elton John has bought his pet rabbit a treadmill
John Bon Jovi has started an extremely strict fruit only diet...
A pencil isn't John Wick's primary murder weapon.
But it's definitely number 2.
John Travolta tested negative for covid last night.
turns out it was just Saturday Night Fever!
What do the Equalizer and John Wick have in common?
Both like schooling bad people (One with a pencil, one with a book)
My friends and I were playing a game where you have to think of famous Johns. The game ends if you pick a John that is no longer with us.
It's all fun and games until someone gets Hurt.
John felt like the odd one out at the Mohawk convention, maybe because of the language barrier?!
He’s not a native speaker after all
Elton John hates Iceberg Lettuce
He’s more of a Rocket Man.
I served Elton John a boiled egg the other day. I asked him how it was, and he said....
"It's a little bit runny".
My record collection includes Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Tom Petty. It’s almost a full Heartland Rock set...
Me: Were you able to get ahold of that lady selling the John Deere? My husband:
Sometimes John Wick likes to kill quietly.
What did John Mcenroe say when he was disqualified from the chese eating contest
Did you hear about the new song by Olivia Newton John about clocks?
Let's get digital, digital.
Why is John Cena always invisible?
"Because he's JOHN SEE NAH (No see)"
- my boomer dad who I thought he's asking a genuine question
John was the best liver surgeon in his hospital.
I guess you could say he always delivered.
What hospital ward is john cena afraid of?
Doctors told John Travolta to quarantine because he might have Covid-19.
Turns out he just had Saturday Night Fever.
I call my toilet the jim instead of the john
That way I can tell people I go to the jim every morning.
What did John say to Marry?
You've been the best part of my life and I cant imagine my life with you. Will you marry me?
John Cena's more than a brainac
TIL Elton John wrote an unreleased song about his short-lived affair with the lead actor in "Who's The Boss?"
He called it, "Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza"
Did you hear about that train trip that John Lennon took?
A: Did you hear about that train trip that John Lennon took?
B: No, what was the trip for?
A: To see his wife. It was a Yoko motive.
(original)
John Deere salespeople stand behind all of their products.
Except maybe the manure spreader
What do John Cena and my sense of humor have in common?
58 years ago today, Ringo joined forces with John, Paul, and George.
Pete got sacked, but it was for the Best.
Did you hear that Elton John bought a treadmill for his pet rabbit?
Breaking news: Elton John has bought a treadmill for his pet rabbit.
“It’s a little fit bunny.”
Elton John has bought a treadmill for his rabbit.....
Elton John has brought a treadmill for his pet rabbit
It's a little fit bunny...
John Travolta tested negative for coronavirus last night
Turns out it was just saturday night fever
(Taking advantage of a very narrow humour window!)
Jesus said unto John. Come forth and receive eternal life.
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And god said to John “come forth and ye shall receive eternal life.”
But John came in fifth and only got a toaster.
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