It hurts me to say this....
But, I have a sore throat.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
Edit: Wow! Went to bed, went to work, checked this post, and holy hell did it blow up! Thanks for the awards, funny add-one and dad jokes! This sub is awesome!
I always believed that 'sticks and stones would break my bones, but words would never hurt me.'
Until I fell into a printing press.
A football player goes to the doctor and says "It hurts whenever I touch my face, knee and elbow." The doctor says,
"You've broken your hand."
A tub of margarine fell on my foot 3 weeks a go and it still hurts.....
I can't believe it's not better.
Who were hurt in the bridge collapse in Australia?
The ones that were down under.
What’s a fist that doesn’t hurt
If you get hurt before you are 18, it’s just a minor injury.
What do you do when balloons are hurt?
Why did Bruce Springsteen hurt his leg?
He was dancing in the dark.
I hurt my bottom after shaking it in the office
It was a twerk place injury
Broke a leg , it hurts so much
Had to take my friend to the hospital
What did the cat say when it got hurt?
Where is the worst place to drive when your wrist hurts?
When in a new relationship, does your stomach hurt because of the butterflies...
Or the farts you hold in.
Will you hurt your eyes if you look at the stars for too long?
This is a Sirius question.
They never told me that getting older mad eeverything hurt when you get out of bed
I guess that’s why it’s called being a groan-up
I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. He took an Xray and told me I have a humerus fracture.
Personally, I didn't find it funny at all.
Joke attempt from my daughter: what do you call an Aquarium that hurts fish?
what happens when you get hurt doing yoga?
Where do you go when you get hurt playing peekaboo?
How did the poster get hurt?
I hurt myself while stacking up all my old National Geographics ...
My vowels hurt.
I think they are consonants.
And both hurt when they miss
What superhero gets hurt the easiest?
Who does the Cat in the Hat call when his back hurts?
What does an alligator drink when hurt?
What did Mickey Mouse say to the Dr. when he hurt his leg?
Mom: "Help! I'm hurt! Hurry, call me an ambulance!"
Dad: You're an ambulance.
A salesman said his windows were unbreakable, so I punched one. That hurt, but not nearly as much as the window falling off the display and landing on my head. Unfortunately I can't sue...
...they were advertised as double-pain windows after all.
My son got hurt in a peek-a-boo accident
People say circumcision doesn't hurt, but i disagree.
i was circumcised when i was born and i couldn't walk for almost a year.
Why don't toy swords hurt?
They're only hokey pokey!
What do you call people who hurt bees?
What is red and hurts really bad?
“I got hurt in the Pyrenees!”
A tub of margarine fell on my foot three weeks ago and it still hurts.
I can’t believe it’s not better.
I hurt my bottom after shaking it in the office
It was a twerk place injury.
How did The Undertaker hurt his back?
It hurts me to say this...
But, I have a sore throat .
Where do people go when they get hurt playing hide and seek?
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