Jesus walks into a hotel
Throws three nails on the reception desk and asks “Can you put me up for the night?”
A photon checks into a hotel...
and the bellhop says, 'Do you have any luggage?'
'No,' replied the photon, 'I'm travelling light'.
The first letter of the sign of a derelict hotel fell off and killed a man.
Stayed in a hotel with a gay ghost last night
It really put the willy's up me....
A group of friends were walking around the beach looking to find a hotel to stay but they were all booked except for one, one of them said:
"Guys, that's our last resort."
Why don’t hotels have libraries?
That would make it too easy to book a room!
I rely on hotels so much,
I've actually become quite inn-dependent.
A hotel just offered me a job making beds...
I think I'll turn them down.
Why are skinny jeans like a cheap hotel?
LPT: If you are trying to stay in a hotel that’s completely booked, just tell the receptionist that your name is “improvement”.
Because there’s always room for improvement.
Why is an Australian prisoner like an Australian hotel?
I got tickets for the next Super Bowl plus hotel and airfare, but it turns out my wedding is on the same day!
If you'd like to go instead, it's at St. Peter's Church on Main Street at 6:00 pm. Her name is Melanie and she'll be wearing all white.
So my hotel just tried to charge me ten extra dollars for air conditioning..
I went on a vacation to Hungary, but I couldn't find a hotel with any vacancies.
A Man in a hotel has trouble finding his room, goes down to the front desk and asks ' Excuse me, can you tell me what room I'm in please ? '
Certainly Sir, said the receptionist...this is the Lobby.
A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks if he can assist with any luggage.
The photon replies, “No, I’m traveling light.”
The worst hotel I've ever stayed in was called "The Fiddle".
I was in the hotel lobby the other day when I heard 2 chess masters bragging about past wins.
They were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
Why was the television repair man called out to the Red Hot Chili Peppers hotel room?
A man is staying in a hotel.
He walks up to the front desk and says, “Sorry, I forgot what room I’m in, can you help me?”
The receptionist replies, “No problem, sir. This is the lobby.”
Why do they call the top rooms in a hotel the suite?
'Cause when you open the door to walk in you say .... 'sweeeeet'
What do designer jeans and cheap hotels have in common?
The Russian president was spotted on the roof of a hotel.
At that point, he was truly Putin on the Ritz.
I decided to go on a vacation with my family. Almost all the hotel rooms were booked except one
It was our last resort...
If I ever run a hotel, the free breakfast would be served from 7 tables all pushed together in the middle of the room.
It would be a Pangea breakfast
My father and I were leaving our hotel room in Iraq and he almost forgot his suitcase.
I said don’t forget your Baghdad.
Neo met Reese Witherspoon in a hotel room
after some time he said goodbye to his friend, Reese Wither
What do you call a potato in a hotel room?
I was at my hotel in Spain and wasn't feeling well.
Reception said they had a doctor on staff.
The doctor asked me lots of questions and I was then feeling much better.
I told reception I didn't expect a hotel would have a doctor on staff
They said it was a Spanish Inn Physician
I got sick at this small hotel in Madrid.
I got sick at this small hotel in Madrid.
I called the front desk and they told me they had a doctor on staff.
After he made me feel better, I told him I was amazed that such a small place had a doctor.
He nodded and said "NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INN PHYSICIAN!!!!
A photon checks into a hotel. "Need any help with your luggage sir?" asks the porter.
"No thanks " replies the photon. "I am travelling light."
The AC was broken at the hotel lobby I am staying at.
I wasn't expecting such a warm reception.
Cowboy goes in to a hotel and says a single room and a wardrobe for my horse. Your horse sir the manager replied!
Yes my horse is a Mustang and it mustang somewhere!
My hotel elevator. Schindler’s Lift
A photon walks into a hotel
The desk clerk says, "Welcome to our hotel. Can we help you with your luggage? The photon replies, "No thank you, I'm traveling light."
I was planing on taking a shower at my hotel today...
...but apparently they bolt those things to the wall.
I’m pretty sure that the hotel receptionist was checking me out.
What does u/username do when he hates the hotel he’s staying at?
What do you call hotel with a lot of floors?
I'm having second thoughts about my appointment to stay at a Native American hotel.
I'm having reservation reservation reservation. (BR)
Skinny jeans are like a cheap hotel room....
What do you call a chess club bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?
Chessnuts boasting in an open foyer
What do you call a bunch of chess nerds bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.
The worst hotel I’ve ever stayed in was called The Fiddle.
How could you describe a group of chess grandmasters bragging about their skills in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
I met some chess players in the hotel lobby. They were bragging about how good they are.
It was Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
The worst hotel I ever stayed at was called ‘The Fiddle’
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